User talk:Unununium

Here be blank space. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 11:26, May 24, 2010 (UTC) 11:07, May 24, 2010 (UTC)

And here be UnBlank space

Hi Unununium. I'm the main person who worked on the Unununium page, and it was a save off of VFD. Just went in and edited a bit, took out the paragraph on how it was named, etc. I think the overall storyline is funny and works well, and what exists now seems pretty good to me although it can use some tweeks. The last part, the message from the future, also seems fun. That said, would you like to work on the page, increase the lead to make it more scientific (I like the 'alleged "periodic" table of elements'), add in content, etc. I'd like to work with you together on this page, and maybe we can shape it up very well using both styles of writing and humour. What do you think? And what are your main criticisms of the page now? Thanks, and good to meet you. Aleister in Chains 13:05 2 6 MMX

Actually the biggest problem I had with it was the fact that the article already existed before I could create it (as you can see, it is my namesake). Coming in second was the section on its naming. I will look over the article when I have a bit of spare time and consider what manner of possibilities exist for its future improvement. I suppose that a cooperative effort, while not as good as having written it myself, is better than having no input at all. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 13:40, June 2, 2010 (UTC)

I'm glad I got rid of the nameing section, that was pretty on a further reading. It's interesting that what reads well a few months ago looks very stupid upon going back on it. This place changes you, man, beware! But for the better. Makes us better writers, proofreaders, critics (some of the pee reviews are pure lessons in how to write, a valuable resource). I'm sure once you put your mind on the page it can be very improved. I like how you do the science intros on your pages, to make them sound "real" if an unsuspecting wanderer checks in--and our Unununium page is ranked very high when the name is googled. I do like the storyline, but within storylines entire sections can be added, in fact you can expand it out as much as you can imagine. That's both the fun of rewrites and of collabs. Are you into collabs by any chance? We have the colonization (presently figuring out what to do with the science fiction page we all wrote) and an interesting frat that does a monthly page too. Well, this gets quite long, so enjoy. Al sans chains 16:53 2 6 mmx

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Supermodel, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

This user created Baby's First Nuclear Warhead, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

This user created Baby's First Steel Smelter, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

Pee Review

I meant to come by and say something about this earlier, except I have the attention span of a gnat, so I, well, didn't.

Anyhow, regarding your recent pee review, it was a bit too vague to be considered in depth. Mind, you're definitely on the right track, but in the future, know that it can often help to be specific as well as general, and to make suggestions as to why things aren't working and how they could be fixed, and go more into each piece of the article - for instance, what works and doesn't work in the beginning specifically, and in the other parts and whatnot. For that matter, disassembling an article can also help you figure out what's going on in the thing as a whole...

Mind, the guidelines can be a little misleading. See what other people do and say for examples, perhaps - many of the Steel Kidneys (they've won an award for doing good reviews, and stuff) have pee lists of reviews they've done, and they make lovely examples of what works.

See, I'm telling you all this in the hopes you will do more reviews, because you did seem to be genuinely trying to help and you could go far with these. We need more good reviewers, and I hope you can become one of them. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101031 - 03:46 (UTC)

I realized it wasn't in-depth enough when the author responded to my review. If I do another, I will increase its length, but I can't predict how soon that will happen as I would only want to review a subject with which I am already familiar with. In this case, a radioactive element (I am quite knowledgeable on both radiation and elements), it seems most new articles these days regard pop culture and current events (thing I am not knowledgeable about). It was of course, my first pee review, so I think it is only logical that any future ones will be better. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 03:58, October 31, 2010 (UTC)

Mmm, aye, familiarity does help. Although a proper, decent article should still be funny or at very least a good read to someone unfamiliar...

I know what you mean, though. Cheers. ~ *shifty eyes* (talk) (stalk) -- 20101031 - 05:14 (UTC)

Dear Mister Element 111

It has come to our attention that you have not yet updated your personal files with us. Mr. Roentgenium, this is a disappointment. We can't have people not updating their personal files with us. That would just be crazy. VGD >=3

Eh? ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 20:18, November 11, 2010 (UTC)

Kidney Rock things

Hello! Long time no Hello! I hope all is going well. I didn't know the Kidney Stones page was yours or a one-user page, didn't check the history. Just that I have this thing about drinking water, and how evil/stupid it is that societal media doesn't go out of its way to tell people which illnesses are caused by dehydration or even partial dehydration. Kidney stones are one of those. Have you ever checked out Watercure.com, lots of data there. So that's why I popped it in, thought it was an old been-around awhile page. Must go now, to drink some water. Your signature is really nice, by the way. Aleister 12:45 4 12

If you read the whole article, you'll see it does briefly mention dehydration. And I drink lots of water, I always have a bottle of water with me. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 07:55, December 5, 2010 (UTC)

Ban patrol

Hey, thanks for putting in the time to report the idiots, but I don't know if you saw Zombiebaron's comment the other day - please don't bother putting IPs with only one edit on ban patrol; there really isn't much point most of the time. Something about them being IPs, not actual people. Most of them never even come back, and there's no telling if it'd even be the same person behind the number the next time, though if the idiocy repeats, that's generally when it becomes apparent there might be some point in taking them to the banninators after all. 1234 ~ 20:36, 12 April 2011

Hello, and long time no talk

Hi, hope all is well with you. I saw your kidney stone revert, and have come to plead with you on my knees (heh heh) to make the data on dehydration prominent on your page. The fellow tried to warn of the dangers of soda and coffee, both of which dehydrate a body past the point of the body going numb and not noticing (commonly called depression), and the lack of water is soooooooo important in health pages that it needs, imnho, to be accented and not hacked out. Uncyclopedia, at least how I understand it, is not really content free (that's as much of a joke as anything else here). It's a satirical site, and all good satire teaches and gives real-world information. That's why political satire is so important, people can say something in a jokey manner which would get them killed in some countries if it wasnt' in the form of a joke. Information like dehyration being the cause of kidney stones is so important that our page on the subject should be chock full of good data. Anyway, I'm rambling at length here. Good to "see" you again. Aleister 1:01 4-3-'12

Thank you for the awesome elephant pic!

It'll work very well for my article, the one elephant trying to make the wall crumble with his trunk is hilarious! I don't know if it would work well on VFP. Want to try? I could nom it if you want and you can come up with a caption, but people tend to be very picky there. Mattsnow 01:24, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

My friend, I just thought about this, if you want to do it: could you remove all the humans and add an elephant (or 2) to the lower right? I will really take my time for this article, I think if I really think it through I can come up with something as good as Heaven's Gate. I am not gonna botch this one, so you can be sure your work will not go down the toilet. (Just go see my userpage if you want to, looks like I am whoring myself, but we don't know each other, and you are a skilled photoshopper, so I want you to know I'm a somewhat decent writer! :P I found two pics that I guess could be useful, (the elephants look pissed!) however I don't know anything about photoshopping, so take the easier course, just trying to ease your burden should you try to do it ! The 2 elephants: File:Badass elephant.jpg, File:Elephant-facts-1.jpg and of course the great pic you did: File:Elephapocalypse.png. If you don't want to do it no problem, but if you want to, take your time: the article won't be ready until a week at least. Cheers! Mattsnow 03:37, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

Yeah, I can add more elephants, though I'm not sure how soon I can get to it. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 05:03, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

If it's too hard, just delete the humans. If that is too hard, just leave it as it is, it's great! Mattsnow 05:17, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

Nah, it isn't too hard. It's just that I have to have the free time for it, which I don't have at this moment. I'll do it later. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 05:19, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

Really, if you come up with it in a month, I don't care! You are really helpful my friend! I write articles really slow. I never seen your name around, I guess it's a comeback. Really cool thing you've done there for me. TAKE YOUR SWEET TIME! A month? Too fast! Mattsnow 05:24, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

Turns out I did have the time. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 06:05, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

OH YEAH! That's great thanks! Mattsnow 22:57, March 8, 2012 (UTC)

I just googled "elephant" and saw the pic you used for the beast that is taking down the wall. At first I thought you photoshopped the trunk! I have been busy rewriting the article about the brilliant George Orwell novel 1984, but stay assured that I will follow on sooner or later for the project User:Mattsnow/The Great Elephant Revolt of 2011. Your pic is just awesome, I hope we see you more often here my friend. But you didn't say; do you want me to nom it for VFP? I'd need a caption! Mattsnow 04:06, March 25, 2012 (UTC)

When I saw that image, I thought I could put its trunk to good use. You will probably not see me too often, I am busy doing many other creative things that I don't have much time for Uncyclopedia, but I may drop by to potatochop some images from time to time. I doubt it could win VFP, it is not inherently funny of out context. I suppose you could nominate me for the neglected Potatochopper of the Month some indeterminate time honour though if you wanted. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 22:36, March 30, 2012 (UTC)

Will do, right now. Mattsnow 23:15, March 30, 2012 (UTC)

WINRAR!

	Potatochopper of the Month March 2012

Congrats! Mattsnow 07:38, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

Yay! Now where's my gold watch and/or sports car? ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 09:24, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

The Lamborghini is on its way! We would only need $1,000 for the custom's fees. Please mail it to Mr. B.S. Nkoulou, 364 Mugu Road, Nougoudougoudou, Nigeria. Thanks. Mattsnow 10:06, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

After all the competition I had to fend off to win this spot, I think they can spring for the custom's fees. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 13:32, April 6, 2012 (UTC)

I finally managed to finish it! I hope it does justice to your great picture. The Great Elephant Revolt of 2011. Thanks again! :) Mattsnow 13:23, May 5, 2012 (UTC)

Hmm, there seems to be some tense inconsistencies and I think you meant "dung" where you said "dong". It could use a little cleaning, and really it could've received it before being nominated in VFH. I'm not going to vote, because if I did, my sense of ethics would require me to vote it down as it is in its current state (not that it would matter though, the article seems to be doing very well). ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 08:50, May 7, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for the criticism, I tweaked it a tad, but I can quite figure out where the tense inconsistencies are. Don't get me wrong, I'm not writing this message because I want to whore a vote, I REALLY appreciate your honesty. I want to make it the best article I can, since I really think the topic is awesome. I wanted to expand it a lot more, only to find out that I ran dry on ideas :S. Mattsnow 15:57, May 7, 2012 (UTC)

Revolt!

You don't have to heed any of these, but I'll present to you everything I would change as far as sentence structure goes, that doesn't mean I think all of these are wrong, just would make better flow.

• numerous pachyderms populations throughout the globe
  • I think the singular "pachyderm" would fit better, although - see note at end.
• tougher anti-poachers laws and better peanuts accessibility.
  • Again, "peanuts", singular.
• Trunk Zac-Fadir witnessed in shock as his father was hunted down
  • Clunky, I'd word that as "witnessed in shock, his father being hunted down".
• They first converged on Cairo with an interpret
  • Did you mean "interpreter"?
• so that their plea for anti-poaching laws be heard
  • I'd say "could be heard".
• they wanted to speak with a UN person, and quick.
  • This phase just doesn't sound right to me. I'd go with "a representative of the UN".
• The elephants coming from all over Africa arrived in Cairo to bolster the pachyderms' ranks and quickly learned the news
  • There is nothing grammatically wrong here, but if read quickly, it sounds wrong. To counter this, I'd change "coming" to "came".
• met an early demise by AK bullet.
  • I'd add "an" before AK.
• The mammals took aim at everything in sight:
  • "Mammals" is really broad and could include humans as well, I'd put an elephant-describing adjective before it, like "huge". Also, replace the : with a ; as it is not proceeding a list.
• destroyed the Gizeh Pyramids, since they got a little bit carried away.
  • "Since" doesn't fit well, I'd say "when" instead.

Note at end: You use "pachyderm" a lot. Presumably to add some variety, but the pachyderm order is obsolete (which doesn't mean you can't still use it) and includes rhinos, hippos, pigs, and many more animals. I think you would do well to limit yourself to using the word two or three times throughout the article (you currently use it 5 times). Specifically, your first use of it in the opening paragraph as "pachyderms populations" really seems to open the door for non-elephant pachyderms and should be rectified. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄►

Thanks, your advice is much appreciated! I followed them all. I'm a native French speaker, so when my spellchecker says it's good, I think it is too. (like interpret). I certainly ran out of synonyms for "elephant" lol. Thanks for the advice and the pic, you certainly played a big part in making this a good article (I think it is). I read it again, I'm still chuckling. Hope you drop by more often! Mattsnow 22:35, May 7, 2012 (UTC)

In the "Trunk Zac-Fadir witnessed in shock as his father was hunted down" sentence, the main point was changing "was" to "being" as well as adding the comma, merely adding the comma alone made it worse. I only glanced over your revised version, so I'm only assuming the rest of it is ok. I have a lot of stuff I need to be doing over the next few days, so I don't really have anymore free time to help polish the article. I have another article idea in the works though, so I will be dropping by again at some point relatively soon. ◄► UnUnUn ium ◄► 00:03, May 8, 2012 (UTC)

Thanks for a very complete, very constructive criticism. Mattsnow 00:20, May 8, 2012 (UTC)

Quote punctuation

"When a complete sentence of a quote is split by an attribution," he said, "you use a comma after the attribution."

"However, this is not true when the split in the quote occurs between its complete sentences," she replied. "In this case you use a period." -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 23:25, October 24, 2012 (UTC)

Oh, and as for earth demons vs. Earth demons, I believe the capitalized version is correct, and here's why. If "earth" is an adjective describing the demons' composition, substance, or nature, as "water demons" or "fire demons", then it is lower case. If, however, it is their place of residence, the name of the planet - Earth - is to be capitalized, as "Mars demons" or "Pittsburgh demons". I am more inclined to think the context here would be demons from planet Earth than demons of earthen nature. But I could be wrong. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 23:30, October 24, 2012 (UTC)