Baby's First Steel Smelter
Top quality toys you can trust from the same Nascor Toys™ that has been thinning the population since 1914. Nascor Toys™, "If it's not deadly, it's not fun."
With the arrival of a new baby come new concerns, we at Nascor Toys™ understand that, and strive to make keeping your baby happy the least of your concerns. Once your baby has their hands on our products, you will be free to catch up on Family Guy reruns, polish off that six-pack, or shoot rubber bands at your pets.
If you are worried about modern over-commercialization turning your infant into a future spoiled brat due to saturation of toys and lack of creativity, then buy your baby the one toy that teaches them how to build their own toys!
Don't contribute to childhood obesity with an oven, invest in Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™!
The steel of a lifetime
Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ is a miniature blast furnace designed for baby's little hands. Using state of the art technology, Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ burns clean fuel and produces less air pollution so you don't have to worry about your sweet infant killing the planet.[1]
"Coke", which is neither bubbly brown liquefied sugar nor that white powder you are hanging onto for a friend, is an efficient energy source made from low-sulfur bituminous coal and can bring your Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ up to 2000 °C (3600 °F) which is sufficient to melt steel.
Included with every Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ is a complete manual for operating Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ and handling molten steel. The 12-page complete guide is made from easy-to-turn, thick cardboard pages and is written in large-font baby talk with bright graphical examples depicted by Smiley the Smithing Smilodon.
Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ standard edition is available for only $200,000 (USD≈ €145,000 £125,000 ¥16,155,000).[2]
Forging onward
Once you have assembled Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ and you have read the manual to your precious, they are ready to begin smelting steel!
Included with every Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ purchase is enough coke and steel to craft at least 15 kg (33 lbs) of steel. If your baby is more ambitious, you can also mine iron ore from your backyard which can be refined in Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ into usable steel. Just add .25-2% carbon content, which can be acquired from charcoal, to alloy with the iron.
You will also find a hammer, anvil, water quenching trough, and baby-sized leather gloves and apron. A dingle bell or impact squeaker can be attached to the hammer for fun sounds with every strike. Smithing steel is hard work and sure to make your baby strong, however, even the toughest suckling lacks the stamina to last more than an hour, so Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ also comes with a metal press and several dies with which to fashion the steel when baby's arms tire.[3]
Accessorize!
Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ can present endless fun with some of these additional components.
- The Die Expansion
- If you have a lazy baby and the Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ die press isn't varied enough, the Die Expansion set includes an additional fifteen pieces. Along with more common shapes, there are also some your baby will surely enjoy like the car silhouette or Mickey Mouse ears. A fold-out poster with 60 suggestions helps your baby come up with design ideas. Only $1200![4] (Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ not included)
- The Fuel Injector
- If your Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ is not burning hot enough for baby's needs, the Fuel Injector attaches to the blast furnace and can introduce oxygen, oil, and natural gas to the coke, causing it to heat up an extra 300 °C (600 °F). The Fuel Injector comes with enough fuel to forge 15kg of steel. Only $3600![5] (Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ not included)
- The Blacksmith Shop
- A five square meter (54 ft2) playhouse made from lightweight fiberglass and decorated to look like a blacksmith shop. Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ can fit inside the Blacksmith Shop while the exhaust is vented out of the roof. If assembled correctly, the Blacksmith Shop playhouse is waterproof and weather resistant up to wind speeds of 200kph and 60cm of snow build up. Only $6000![6] (Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ not included)
- The Arc Furnace
- If you are going green, ask about the Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ Arc Furnace. Although the Arc Furnace is much cooler, at 1800 °C (3200 °F), and can't use the Fuel Injector, the Arc Furnace uses an electric arc to smelt the steel instead of burning coke. The Arc Furnace is designed to be integrated into the standard Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ so it still looks like a blast furnace. Only $30,000![7] (Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ not included)
Safety tips
The health of your baby is our first concern, after quality entertainment.
It is recommended that your baby always wear their leather gloves and a leather apron whenever working with Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™.
Proper ventilation of Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ is needed as carbon monoxide may be detrimental in an enclosed area.
Do not place Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™ near flammable objects.
Do not insert living things into Baby's First Steel Smelter by Nascor Toys™.
Not for children under the age of the second trimester.
| Baby's First Steel Smelter is a product of Nascor ToysTM |
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That fine print with which you needn't worry yourself
- ↑ Usage of words such as "clean" or "less" are not indicative of any accepted environmental hazard scale.
- ↑ Plus $200 shipping and handling, taxes not included.
- ↑ Three dies are included in the standard package; flat-edge, round-edge, and pointed-edge.
- ↑ Plus $12 shipping and handling, taxes not included.
- ↑ Plus $36 shipping and handling, taxes not included.
- ↑ Plus $60 shipping and handling, taxes not included.
- ↑ Plus $300 shipping and handling, taxes not included.