User talk:Iwritewhatiwant

Welcome!

Hello, Iwritewhatiwant, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Iwritewhatiwant/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 00:06, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

Aloha (that means hello and goodbye)

I responded to your message in the correct place, see if you can find it! (The position of this message is a clue.) Welcome to the site, hope it is everything you dreamed it would be. --Black Flamingo 23:33, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

Ok, a few points here.

People will see your article on Recent Changes, which lists all the recent edits to the site. There's a link to it on the sidebar. They can also search for it in the searchbar or find it through internal links, like this one to one of my articles.

Secondly, to add pictures use this code: [[File:NAME OF YOUR IMAGE.jpg|200px|thumb|right|FUNNY CAPTION HERE.]]. The "thumb" part makes it a thumbnail, you don't have to include that. The "200px" part is the size; you can adjust that. The "right" bit is the alignment, you can choose between left, center (US spelling) or right. That all make sense?

I'm not sure how to help with "funkiness" as you say. Have you considered giving it an afro?

Lastly, Thanks for the blowjob... even if it was just in my imagination. --Black Flamingo 23:32, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

Russell Brand

Oops! Sorry, I missed that message. I will read Russell Brand over the weekend when I have some time. Looks pretty good so far though! Sorry for the delay. --Black Flamingo 20:30, September 14, 2011 (UTC)

Hello!

I'm avoiding uncy because I'm an addict, but good to see your participation floating about town. And if BlackFlamingo is helping you then you have the guiding hand of a genius (just watch out when he tries to guide his hand where you don't want it guided). This is the funnest place on the internet to play, so good to see a talented newcomer. And you too! Aleister 17:35 15-9-'11

Greetings to you as well, good to see that I'm being noticed! And yes it is slightly addictive; I've been refreshing my browser every 30 seconds to see if the review of my first article is done yet! But you know, there are worse addictions to have than to a site like this. I'm actually being guided by both BlackFlamingo (he can guide my hands anywhere he wants) and Sir Oliphaunte at that moment, it's like a double penetration of creativity, and it feels good. --Writey 17:47, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

An orgy of writers seems to have settled upon you. Be sure to shower afterwards. I'll take a look at your first article. Mine was Phil Ochs, if I remember right, and in honor mentioning that I'll put in a couple of edits after writing this. That's what's fun, after being around here for awhile you can go back on your "old" articles and see the stupid and lax places, or an obvious line comes to mind. Things like that. Do you have a problem picking up teddy bears? Aleister 18:54 15-9-'11

You're welcome to join the orgy! The way I see it, an orgy can only get better the more people that are involved. Oh why thank you, I'm going to have more feedback on this article than I know what to do with! Is this a bad time to mention I take criticism very, very badly? And oh, it depends, I have been known to make little holes in a teddy's groin and pretend I'm... well lets not go there, yes I'm fine picking up teddys. Just don't ask me about my previous convictions. --Writey 19:38, September 15, 2011 (UTC)

Just checking in to make sure you're ok

And how are those shirts and shoes coming? Sweat shop assembly lines don't work themselves! --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   01:57, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

Everything is coming along fine sir, please don't beat me again sir, I promise I won't try and escape again sir, please no... no... NOT THE ROD... NOOO...Oh, wait, your not Black Flamingo, erm, hi Oliphaunte! I'm alright thanks, been incredibly busy the last few days and when I have had some time I've been way too tired to do anything constructive in it, I'm planning to make Russell Brand VFH worthy material the moment I get some time, hopefully I wont be too hungover on Sunday. ALso this poo lit surprise looks interesting... hmm, the possibilities. --Writey 20:22, September 23, 2011 (UTC)

"Oh, God! But why...in the balls?"

Thanks for the VFH vote on UnNews:Alaska woman wins 2011 International Punching-A-Bear-In-The-Face Championship. Here's hoping the coming world-wide Bearagnarök spares you!  ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Sep 28 '11 19:52 (UTC)

Three strikes

Hey dude or dudette...that was a really nice and promising article that you submitted for PLS. I laughed at least once per section (which is a decent rate of laughter). The strongest element of your article is the concept (its clear and you stick to the concept throughout) and the images. I'm pretty sure if there were more entries you probably still would have won it (though participant Q did a good non-job of writing a non-article). Any ways, I hope you polish and edit out your article and I'll be happy to nominate it for hilight. --ShabiDOO 22:36, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for the kind words. Despite the fearfully ferocious competition this year I'm glad you thought I held my own against the positively Shakesperian prose of participant Q. Although... winning a category by default just isnt the same as truimphing over (any) competition. I know this only too well - I was never the strongest runner in prep school and was always put in the same race as the paraplegics. Sufficed to say winning just wasnt the same. And the five minute wait after every race for my competition to finish became tiresome. I therefor asked Black Flamingo whether or not changing to less Silent Hill-esque category would be possible (in a way in keeping with mood I was in), hes yet to get back to me, but I take from the speedy reviews its not. Oh well, as a wise man once said, you're only a noob once. (unless you're in a position of power - then making poor decisions is your right!). Thanks very much for getting back to me on this mate and I'd be only happy to polish it up when I can and make it worthy of highlight.--Writey 23:12, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

Hey mate I just replied on my talky page, but to give you a more serious answer here: I would say stay where you are, mainly because that's the category you intended to write for and it's probably the most appropriate for your article. The whole point of the noob category is so people who aren't (yet) as good at doing this don't have to compete with comedy giants like Doctor Strange, whose writing muscles are so butch and honed that they could crush five new writers in one fell swoop. It's not your fault no one else entered that category, but if you want to compete with guys like the aforementioned Doc then you'd better have thick skin. If you desperately want to go for the big change, speak to Chief. --Black Flamingo 23:59, October 5, 2011 (UTC)

Sparta?

THIS IS NOT SPARTA!!!

Thanks for your vote. ; ) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 18:23, 14 October 2011

Subject

Writey me old mucker, how you doing? Thanks for voting on Arecibo, very kind. Are you working on anything right now? You're not going to disappear like all the other noobs (and old users) are you? Please stay, I'll be nice from now on. --Black Flamingo 01:27, October 21, 2011 (UTC)

I would like for you to stay here too, but I should warn you about BF's ol' trick of trying to be nice. He got me with that one by buying me a drink. When I woke up, I was missing a kidney, my clothes were gone and I was surrounded by half a dozen ugly hookers in some motel bed. Also, this was left on a note on the nightstand. It read, "Haha. You Fool. -BF11"......Just a heads up. --Sir Oliphaunte (განხილვა)   03:24, October 21, 2011 (UTC)

Oh hello, I'm fine actually! First, you're very welcome, it was a very good article. But okay, down to business. I'm not going to disappear any time soon, however I may fade away periodically when my life gets so hectic that I need to just hide in a corner for a few days and wait for everything to calm down. For now though, I'm back, I've got some more time now so I'll be around. But I do still expect you to be nice, that means sending me money, ice cream, telling me I'm beautiful, telling me I don't look fat in that and taking me to expensive restaurants where we can talk about menial things and you can pretend to fine my jokes funny. I'm watching you though, after what Oli said, I've got a close eye on you. --Writey 13:10, October 24, 2011 (UTC)

To Oliphaunte; that's the last time I take you to meet my family. To Writey: glad you're sticking around! Your ice cream is in the mail. --Black Flamingo 01:55, November 28, 2011 (UTC)

FANKS

AG FANKS MAN! You was prove you are not a sout piel and now you can like to get dis template because you did pay attentions... Now go milk dat bliksimse cow!

UnNews

I put it on the UnNews journo template bro! :3 Mattsnow 21:45, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Merci mon ami, comment puis j'ai rembourser cette bonte? --Writey 22:35, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Un p'tit 20 en dessous de la table ca serait parfait! lol C'est cool de voir un autre qui parle francais, j'ai amélioré mon anglais pas mal ici! Mattsnow 22:40, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Vous etes francais? Wow ... Je viens comme le francais, j'ai prétends pas etre bon dans ce domaine (je ne suis pas) ... j'espère que vous ne etes pas français j'ai probablement fait une erreur de mille. Je prendre le Francais a A level et GCSE! Je suis tres CLEVER AND STUFF. This is embarrassing, I think I'll just stick to English. It's the best language anyway. --Writey 22:51, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

I'm from Quebec, bro, the province in Canada that is resisting the invasion! Mattsnow 22:52, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

Ah lovely! Good to see the ol' US finally shared the Internet with you. Amazing country though, I went skiing there last year, best snow of my life. Somehow, it beats getting a flat sheet of cardboard and chugging down the sleet covered hills of England. --Writey 22:59, December 10, 2011 (UTC)

There's already a good foot of natural snow here and I got my ski pass! I snowboard actually, the resort opens next week-end. Was it really a coincidence you answered me in French? Not sure.... I heard it's pretty hard for English people to learn French, the other way around being easier. Mattsnow 00:51, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

It was total coincidence, I always feel slightly homosexual talking to men in French actually, its sounds so sexual to me, or maybe I just have a dirty mind. Well, It wasn't too bad for me to learn French, but that's probably just because I took a trip to Paris with some mates in the same year I started to learn and got the idea that every single French-speaking woman in the world was stunningly beautiful and I could have them all if I learned French. Ah, being 13 was so simple. Turns out no amount of French speaking will help me, I'm much more adapted to charming over the Internet you see. Thanks evolution. --Writey 01:11, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

You should see girls in Quebec, they are awesome! Mattsnow 03:19, December 11, 2011 (UTC)

Award from UN:REQ

This user created Three strikes law, an article originally requested on Uncyclopedia:Requested articles. You're welcome!

Looks like we have an awesome new reviewer!

I'm so happy I'm crying. No wait, that's because my wife left me. Still, thanks helping out! --Black Flamingo 01:51, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

I'm so happy you're happy. Now it's no longer having an affair I'm having. I mean, err, thanks! Now go to sleep, it's nearly 2:30am here bro. --Writey 02:19, December 17, 2011 (UTC)

Yeah, you deserve one of these. Those two reviews were great. Keep it up. You make daddy proud... Whoever he is. --Black Flamingo 22:13, December 18, 2011 (UTC)

Rejoice, Iwritewhatiwant! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

You can be my Internet daddy, my cyber daddy. Yea, that doesn't sound wrong at all. I need help with one thing though, you see my signature? Yea, it's kinda plain and boring. D'ya thing you could give some advice on how to pimp it out? Or point me in the direction of someone who can? Faaankkss! --Writey 00:03, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Well, as you can see from mine, I have no skill in that area. What you'll want to do is create a subpage for your sig. For instance; User:Iwritewhatiwant/sig, where you design it. Then you go to your preferences and paste this into the custom sig box: {{Subst:Nosubst|User:Iwritewhatiwant/sig}}. Then when you type four tildes it will appear. Ta da! Take a look at some of the ones belonging to other users and rip them off if you want. --Black Flamingo 01:07, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Ah, I see. Good thing Uncyclopedia users are all so predictable and just adding "/sig" in the URL bar to everyone's user page takes me directly to where they made their sig. I'll get right on that, except an amazing new signature tomorrow! One more thing, what does, "File extension does not match MIME type" mean? I seem to get it a fair amount when uploading images. --Writey 01:23, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Hey thanks for the review man! To the point and helpful! Will work on it based on the review, no doubt! Mattsnow 05:39, December 19, 2011 (UTC)

Greetings

I have gone through my records and it appears as though you may have voted for me for some award, supported one or more of my articles on VFH, or supported one or more of my images on VFP, in the past year or so. If this is not the case, then please ignore this message. Otherwise, thank you for your support. May you have a long and fruitful life, and have many parasites. 1234 ~ 18:57, 6 January 2012

Hello

I noticed nobody has written you since mid-December (except that spam by the Lyrithya bot), and thought of the joy that you'd have seeing that "you have a message" banner on your screen, and then you'd find out it's only me and kick a chair or something. I'm sitting here sipping warm vodka - warmed by the belly of a Morocaan princess/whore, and chuckle imagining that when you see that your first real message of 2012 is nonsense, an idiot message that you could erase and be happier, a missive saying nothing in particular, you will exhibit temper and dissapointment. Well, I'll add one substantial thing, I do believe I find your writing, even on this talk page, very humouruous. Not to digress. Aleister 12:07 22-2-'12

A message with actual import

“...what does, "File extension does not match MIME type" mean? I seem to get it a fair amount when uploading images”

~ Writey, a few weeks ago, above

Two things can cause that:

1. uploading an image which has the wrong file extension. Example: you have an image that is a .PNG-format, but it is named someimage.pn or someimage.pgn or someimage.jpg.
2. uploading an image with one extension, but forgetting to include that extension, or including the wrong extension, in the "Rename" box. For example: when uploading C:\Users\iwrite\someimage.png, you can't rename it to "iHomo". It has to be "iHomo.png".

Hope that answers your question. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Wed, Feb 22 '12 12:28 (UTC)

Three strikes law

Very nice article BTW. Don't be mad...I went to make one spelling correction and it turned into a giant edit. I tried to make a few sentences clearer, use exaggerated or subtle synonyms and added a couple lines. Feel completely free to accept or reject none, all or some edits. Look forward to reading more articles by you. ShabiDOO 14:02, 29 October 2015 (UTC)