User talk:Cap'nkrik

Welcome!

Hello, Cap'nkrik, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Cap'nkrik/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.

If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome!  -- Kip the Egg Talk Works 05:12, Jan. 23, 2010

Re one of your Top 10 of 2009 votes from January 2010

Dear Mr/Ms Cap'nkrik, Greetings. I am the lawyer for Arthur C. Clarke's estate. Last summer, following the listing of an article on this website (henceforth referred to as "Uncyclopedia"), namely the article titled 2001: A Space Odyssey, as a featured article, I and my assistant began to prepare a copyright infringement suit against you, and were about to file it in December 2009 when both of us were attacked violently by the user MacMania, who was imprisoned for his central role in this infringement, but had apparently escaped custody to exact revenge against us. Needless to say, MacMania was once again taken into custody, but we lapsed into a comatose state. However, now that we have woken up, we have found out, much to our chagrin and dismay, that you have further encouraged such infringing actions by selecting 2001: A Space Odyssey as the number 2 article of 2009, and that England once again failed to make the World Cup final. We must, of course, take further action, and would like to notify you that unless Uncyclopedia's administrators take action, we will press the following charges: 1. continued support, encouragement, and flaunting of copyright infringement; 2. indirectly causing severe physical harm to me and my assistant; 3. potentially providing shelter to Paul the Octopus, whose psychic powers clearly drastically demoralized the English national football team against the German team, which is an unspeakably criminal act. We will drop these charges only if you agree to furnish us with a Paul the Octopus voodoo doll* for our perusal. Please let us know if this is possible. Your obedient servant (strictly in a figurative sense) James Steel c/o Alesha Phillips London EC4M 7EH UK * Must be complete with voodoo boiling water, voodoo olive oil, voodoo knife and voodoo fork.

Better late than never, or at least that's the thought. (Sorry about the length of this, by the way.) Horribly belated thanks for voting 2001: A Space Odyssey into #2 of 2009! Sir MacMania GUN—[01:53 16 Jul 2010]