User:The Ninja
This article is stupid. You can help Uncyclopedia by whacking it upside the head with a clue-by-four.
“The Ninja could save humanity, then again, The Ninja probably couldn't.But I wouldn't doubt him, she'll most likely come through in the end.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The Ninja
“The Ninja ain't got nothing on This Ninja”
~ That Ninja on The Ninja
“..I maintain that although cheddar is highly classy among their folk, mozzarella is far more ninja like.It's the cheese of Ninjas!”
~ A hardcore fan of The Ninja on The particular flavour of cheese The Ninja prefers
“Never saw him coming.I did see her leaving though.”
~ Synyster Gates on The night his trademark hat was supposedly "kidnapped"
“Skilled, The Ninja is. Much training, Yoda needs.Speech impediment fixed, also, Yoda needs”
~ Yoda on The Ninja owning his ass
“Why do I feel like I just sold my soul to a monkey?”
~ The Ninja Herself on Joining her sworn "Enemy-again, Friend-again"
“She did it!! I saw the whole thing!!”
~ That famous one-eyed ninja guy on his missing fruity-looking eyepatch
“You've got me to thank for this.”
~ God on The Ninja
“I'd tap that.If I knew what that was.If it didn't look that great, then I might not tap that.”
~ Sasuke Uchiha on his bizzare fanboyism of The Ninja
“ The Ninja requests you read warnings and crackhead labels at beginning of article, as well as others in page.If at any time feel afraid and have wet self, The Ninja recommend you spend time stare at other page.Warnings in place for reader safety after all, not The Ninja.”
~ The Ninja's official SpokesNinja
my mood ring |
anxieties nervous strained |
Baby Jesus Cares About You!
If you see this template it means thats everybody cares about you, Even this template cares about you. May Baby Jesus smile at you forever because you are so beautiful. |
This article is hilarious if you are familiar with whatever it pretends to explain, but otherwise you probably have no idea what the hell is going on. If you can think of a way to make it more accessible, make it so.
This article is insane. The article submitter may need psychotherapy, and as such, this article should be taken as gospel. You can help Uncyclopedia by restraining the article in a rubber room. |
WARNING: In accordance with the OMG U SRS???// act of 2002, all contents of this page are to be believed with no disputes whatsoever. (Hey, morons voted for Bush.) |
Contents
About The Ninja[edit | edit source]
nj |
This user is a Ninja
, with dominion over everything totally sweet. |
nj |
This user is a Ninja
, with dominion over everything totally sweet. |
(Me likie shiny stars!)
(My hair is short, actually)
This article has been intentionally left blank Except for this message box claiming blankness Which is probably just a figment of your imagination anyway Why don't you go somewhere else and stop worrying about it! Ya paranoid. |
Just because I think everyone is trying to kill me doesn't mean they aren't. You know what I mean?
|
This user knows the truth about hummingbirds and will not rest until the lies have been dispelled. |
This user fears the clowns
. |
(I'm a ninja, Duh)
NO |
This user doesn't care. |
NO |
This page was written by The Ninja Official SpokesNinja, as The Ninja has been too busy to edit and manage this page.For more information on The Ninja, look for The Ninja's UserTalk because a link in this box would be blasphemous.
A bit about The Ninja[edit | edit source]
The Ninja would like reader take time (as seen on UserTalk page) and read crackhead label and warning on page.If at any time feel unhappy, depressed, emo, and the like, The Ninja suggest you scream, it usually solve all problem.
This user is an aeroplane, and can be annoying. No offence to pilots. |
♀ |
♀ |
This user is too pirate for your battleship. |
This user is a bit of a pyromaniac. |
(I'll learn Guitar soon so I don't look like a liar)
This user is a grue, and while you were reading this, has eaten you. Start over? |
This user is from Camelot
! |
RENT |
This space for rent. Lube available. Call 1-800-666-6666. |
RENT |
This user's head A SPLODE. |
This user raises their own chickenbox. |
This user is not and has never been Napoleon. |
Does that sum up The Ninja for you?[edit | edit source]
If not, reread that, but with less crack and more bunnies.
Still no good?[edit | edit source]
Official SpokesNinja of The Ninja explain for you then.
The Ninja's head staff sincerely apologize for The Ninja's Official SpokesNinja, who is currently vacationing in an undisclosed location.We apologize for this inconvenience and lack of information, but we'd have to kill you if we told anything more.
The Ninja is a very strange ninja for several reasons.(much honour related permission was needed to post such information.)
First and foremost, she is Canadian, so that's gotta be setting off some warning flags. It's a well known fact that certain rare Canadians are cannibalistic, and enjoy biting each others heads off for no reason, metaphorically and literally (literally only during certain times of ritual).
Secondly, The Ninja has associated with some strange people over the years.She has chosen not to list them, since they probably know who they are.She still knows some mightily weird and crazy persons. Approach with caution and bring popcorn.
The Ninja has survived a grue attack.
I'll give you a moment to catch your breaths, revive yourself, take anti-death pills, rush in and out of the emergency room and respawn.
Yes The Ninja survived a grue attack.
It is not known how she did this, but rumours abound, (and are explained farther below.
A bit more about The Ninja[edit | edit source]
She is constantly being renamed.The Ninja is meraly a replacement for her nicknames and real name.It's a ninja thing.
IMPORTANT:
The Ninja has been renamed from WH33L
Her current name is Salamander. Variations include Salamanderface, Mrs. Sala.
YO, THIS PAGE IS IN DEVELOPMENT, IF YOU DISTURB IT NOW, IT'LL GROW UP
TO BE MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DEFORMED.DO YOU REALLY WANT THAT? A
DEFORMED PAGE.YOU SICK CREATURE OF THE ABYSS, CLICK THAT DAMN BACK
ARROW AND LEAVE THIS PAGE ALONE! GIVE IT SOME TIME TO GROW UP, PAGES
DON'T BECOME AMAZING OVERNIGHT. YOU THINK THE KITTEN HUFFING PAGES
GOT THAT LEVEL OF STATUS RIGHT AWAY? I DIDN'T THINK SO.I DON'T CARE
WHAT THE OTHER ARTICLES SAY, I'M NOT INSANE YET AND NEITHER IS THIS
PAGE! SURE IT'S TEMPLATES MAY NOT BE AS NICE AS THE OSCAR WILDE
RELATED ONES, BUT DAMMIT, IT'S ONLY A BABY ARTICLE IF YOU THINK ABOUT
IT! IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED TO ENTER PUBLICITY YET!
CLICK 'BACK' AND GROW SOME COMMON SENSE, BECAUSE THIS ARTICLE WILL
PWNZ J00 AND YOUR LITTLE DOG TOO! IT'LL HUFF YOUR FAT HOUSE CAT AND
CRIPPLE YOUR PIDGEON. I'M SERIOUSLY WARNING YOU.
Oh, and to the fruithead who got me addicted to Hawthorne Heights: (You are the same person who gave me a Knight Hating Complex)
I have in my possession the following(but not limited to):
-The shards of your dignity.Handmade. -The shards of MY dignity. Also handmade, but you'd know more about that than me. -The shards of the Sacred Jewel. Just TRY and take them. -The entire 'The Silence in Black and White' album downloaded on my mp3. Your fault. -The entire 'City of Evil' album downloaded on my mp3. My fault. -The very documents and blueprints to your soul. HIS fault. -The 6 books in The Wayfarer Redemption series. My fault. -A very well drawn computer graphic anime picture with lovely animated writing in my Recycle Bin, deleted from my computer 2 years ago, yet it still made this list. YOUR FAULT OH THIS IS SO YOUR FAULT. -The corpse of a grue. -The soul of said grue. It wants to eat you.I suggest you run like hell. -A giant penguin plushie. It makes a nice pillow. Christmas' fault. -A Knight Hating Complex. You un-noble jerk. Your fault. No question. -The Lovely Eyepatch. Next challenger set for Monday at 4:00 PM. -Various A7X paraphanalia. -A life. You know you want this. -Ninja Contract. I'm more skilled than you. Ph34r. -A heart. It's a bit battered and beaten, but I have one.
If you wish to claim any of these, please call the following number to reclaim your possessions if I'm feeling generous.If I'm feeling not generous, you may experience : Complete and total pwnage, headshots, 2.3 million dollars in damage, damage related to my Knight Hating Complex, etc etc.
Call : 1800-IMA-BUTT.
Email: shewhokillsknights@antifluff.com
lulz i didnt know 150 kgs of lard could be a ninja