User:RealLifeCartman/UnScripts:CT2: The Fate of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6
CT2: The Fate of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 is a 2019 film serving as the long awaited sequel to the 2007 spy action movie CT. The film follows Mr. Potato Head and his fellow partners in crime Miss Potato Head and new superhero Tim Lasersword facing off against "Weird Al" Yankovic and his holy spawn of demons hell bent on destroying the planet. The trio deal with not only the secrets of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 but the truth inside that threatens the very fabric of existence itself.
Characters[edit | edit source]
- Mr. Potato Head as
CTMr. Potato Head - Miss. Potato Head as
QuincyMiss. Potato Head - Tom Cruise as Tim Lasersword
- "Weird Al" Yankovic as "Weird Al" Yankovic
- Tommy Wiseau as Rapeman
- George W. Bush as George W. Bush[1]
- DJ Khaled as DJ Khaled
Act 1: The Arrival of the Arbitrator[edit | edit source]
It has been some years since Mr. Potato Head saved the world from George W. Bush who was going to destroy the world until Mr. Potato Head transformed into Chuck Norris and defeated him in epic combat.[2] George W. Bush was sentenced to 5 years in state prison for his attempts to destroy the world. He was let out early for good behavior eventually settling down in the city of Riverside, California.
Mr. Potato Head and Miss Potato Head were trying to head home from buying groceries. It was difficult because of the flashing lights of paparazzi and the fact they were carrying their 3 year old daughter with them. Mr. Potato Head and Miss Potato Head are married now and have kids, several of them going on to become world famous celebrities due to their famous parents.
Miss. Potato Head: When are we going to be able to catch a break with these cameras?
Mr. Potato Head: Shit, even if we didn't have these superpowers, these cameras would hound on us anyways.[3]
The three year old daughter was busy modeling up a storm for the cameras who were just eating it up. Unbeknownst to her parents, she had a social media profile where she had accumulated 5 million followers so far. She had posed for fans and random strangers as well.
They arrived at their Mansion on the hills of Hollywood which happened to be in Los Angeles.
Mr. Potato Head: Kids, we're home!
The kids then came up to the duo cramming them and demanding attention. The duo tried to move to the kitchen to put away their groceries but didn't have much success.
They then heard a sound, they looked up and saw the potato symbol in the air. They knew what they had to do.
Miss. Potato Head: Sorry kids, duty calls!
The Kids: But you promised to spend time with us!
Mr. Potato Head: Well you're not superheroes who have to respond to crime everyday so ..
The babysitter then activated and proceeded to engage its safety protocols.
Babysitter Robot: In Bed by 9, no funny business!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then flew up into the sky and headed to the crime scene of which happened nearly every few minutes. What do you expect? it's Los Angeles!
Almost as soon as they left. The kids started to mess with the babysitter robot vandalizing as well as reprogramming it. This time they tricked the robot into thinking it was gay.
Babysitter Robot: Have I always been fabulous?
The kids then proceeded to do whatever they wanted, even managing to come and go as they please without any real consequences.
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then arrived on the crime scene to witness some robbers fleeing the scene.
Mr. Potato Head: Stop right there you bad guys!
Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to propel himself at one of the robbers who collapsed on impact due to all the pain he inflicted. He then threw the robber at one of the other robbers who then collapsed. Mr. Potato Head then used his psychic powers to retrieve the bags which contained the items.
One of the robbers attempted to take him out only for Miss. Potato Head to strike from nowhere.
Mr. Potato Head: Nice job miss!
Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to look inside the bags, he noticed that they were artifacts of some sort.
Mr. Potato Head: What would thieves want with these artifacts?
"Weird Al" Yankovic: We the best!
"Weird Al" Yankovic then appeared out of nowhere and snatched the artifacts from Mr. Potato Head while attacking him in a highly fatal way.
Miss. Potato Head: Oh no! It can't be!
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Yes, It is I. The Don of all Dons, Terror Squad, We the Best Music Group. This is "Weird Al" Yankovic!
"Weird Al" Yankovic was standing around looking flashy with his expensive costume and various chains around his neck. He was also wearing sunglasses as well. Despite his larger than life status he was skinny and apparently, still white and nerdy.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: You played yourself by coming into my vicinity here. It's not just me, I also brought my homeboys as well.
Rick Ross, Chris Brown, Drake and even Kanye West were standing behind "Weird Al" Yankovic. They looked ready and equipped for the fight ahead.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: We can't be stopped, you fuck boys are in for it now! We Takin' Over!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then prepared themselves for battle, readying themselves for the moment they'll strike.
Mr. Potato Head: I'm up for anything you can bring, let's get it!
"Weird Al" Yankovic then signaled for his crew to attack. He then proceeded to take the bags of artifacts and ran off into the mist.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: We the best!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then proceeded to attack the minions who "Weird Al" Yankovic set upon them. They used their ragdoll powers in order to lay down some serious damage.
Rick Ross pulled out his billy club and used it in order to defend himself against the power of Mr. Potato Head while Chris Brown used his slick dance moves in order to combat the two.
Drake (sung): Y'all getting beaten by "Weird Al" Yankovic's We the Best Music Crew!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head were still holding their own against Yankovic's crew but were getting tired due to their immense power levels.
Rick Ross and the gang started to corner Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head as the two backed up slowly, thinking they were done for.
At the very last second, they sensed a shadowy figure lurking in the shadows.
Drake: What was that?
Rick Ross: Whatever it is, it can't stop us. Drake, secure the perimeter.
Drake then looked around the scene for the shadowy figure. His hands were twitchy, nervous from the fear of the unknown.
All of a sudden, the figure leaped behind him and proceeded to penetrate Drake's rear side.
Drake (sung): Get this pedophile off me!
Rick Ross shot at the vicinity of Drake hoping to hit the shadowy figure. Only for him to shoot multiple bullets into Drake himself. Drake then fell on the floor dead as a doorknob and the shadowy figure disappeared.
Kanye then suddenly began running from the battlefield.
Rick Ross: Where are you going?!
Kanye West: Fuck this, I'm straight.
Rick Ross was left all alone, he was so afraid that he even peed himself uncontrollably. All of a sudden the shadowy figure showed himself.
Rick Ross: Who are you?
The shadowy figure then slapped Rick Ross who then fell to the floor defeated.
Shadowy Figure: I am Rapeman![4]
Rapeman then approached Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head with urgency.
Rapeman: You must come with me, it is urgent.
Mr. Potato Head: Why should we?
Rapeman: Cause the fate of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 is in the balance, now come on!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then followed Rapeman into the filthy underbelly. Unsure of what they would find or even encounter.
Act 2: The Know and Don't Know[edit | edit source]
Rapeman: I don't know if you know this but there is a prophecy which states that a chosen few would save Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 from potential eternal doom.
Mr. Potato Head: And why haven't we heard of this "prophecy"?
Rapeman: You think your inferior brain would even understand the prophecy? Why if you even faced the prophecy, it would be beyond your comprehension. Kind of like how you think 1 plus 0 equals 2 or something like that...
Miss. Potato Head: Isn't 1 plus 0 equal to 1?
Rapeman: Whatever, we don't have time to do complicated math!
They keep walking to some unknown destination of which they don't know even exists. The tunnels get filthier and filthier as they go deeper.
Rapeman: I thought the prophecy was a load of bull itself. Until I saw the first signs itself...
Mr. Potato Head: Which was?
Rapeman: Artifacts that have the power to destroy the world if it fell into the hands of evil.
Mr. Potato Head: So that "Weird Al" Yankovic guy? He's trying to destroy the world?
Rapeman: Yes.
Mr. Potato Head: Why?
Rapeman: They say if you destroy the world than you can rule the universe that lies beyond it...
Mr. Potato Head: Meaning...
Rapeman: There is a world beyond Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6. Your puny brains can only begin to comprehend how small of a role we play in the universe.
Mr. Potato Head: No shit sherlock, we're taught that in Plot Cohesion 101.
Rapeman then proceeded to look at Mr. Potato Head with a sneering look. Like he was annoyed or something.
Mr. Potato Head: Even if there is a "prophecy"... How are you so sure I am part of it?
Rapeman: Luckily you don't need to walk any further because we're here now. Enter...
Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head then proceeded to enter his home. The home looked messy with stuff all over the floor and no real sense of organization whatsoever. A picture of the "prophecy" hangs on the wall.
Rapeman: This is how I'm sure...
The picture of the prophecy contains a picture of Mr. Potato Head.
Mr. Potato Head: Alright sure, I'm in the photo. How do I relate to all of this?
Rapeman: Because you are the sole being of immense power, one who can shape reality to his whim.
Mr. Potato Head: Cool.
Rapeman: You need to get to the temple of all knowledge if you want to stop "Weird Al" Yankovic.
Mr. Potato Head: Do I at least get some backup?
Rapeman: Luckily i have a protege and he is here right now. Come on out Tim!
Tim then comes out. He looks exactly like Tom Cruise, what do you expect?
Tim Lasersword: Tim Lasersword at your service.[5]
Rapeman then holds out a paper filled with information to where the temple might be.
Rapeman: Find the temple before "Weird Al" Yankovic does, the fate of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 depends on you.
Mr. Potato Head then takes the paper.
Mr. Potato Head: No problemo. Let's do this.
Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and Tim Lasersword then fly off into the sky on an adventure to find the temple in the hopes of stoping "Weird Al" Yankovic and saving Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6.
Act 3: The Eventuality of the Prophecy[edit | edit source]
Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and Tim Lasersword then landed in the middle of a semi-busy street in the middle of a downtown in a city.
Mr. Potato Head: Well here we are! The Mission Inn!
Mr. Potato Head then looked at the majestic front of The Mission Inn, it's decadent architecture and grand size making itself known amongst the city.
Tim Lasersword: Uh, why are we in Downtown Riverside?
Mr. Potato Head: Cause an old acquaintance lives here
Tim Lasersword: Who is...
Mr. Potato Head: You'll see...
Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and Tim Lasersword then enter the Mission Inn and turn right, heading towards a bar in the corner of the lobby. Oddly named "The Presidential Lounge".
Tim Lasersword: You really think we're going to find anything here?
Mr. Potato Head: Dude, you really want me to spoon feed you the plot, don't you? Be patient!
Mr. Potato Head: Kids these days...
Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and Tim Lasersword then entered the bar and went to the counter of which the bartender was there.
Mr. Potato Head: Hello there, we'd like to talk to the president.
Bartender: And what is this about?
Mr. Potato Head: Tell him an old friend needs his help.
Bartender: Wait right here...
The bartender then goes upstairs to retrieve the president.
Tim Lasersword: You really think the president of the United States is here?
Mr. Potato Head: Not the president, a president.
Tim Lasersword: What do you mean by "a"...
Mr. Potato Head: Silence! The president is here!
We then see what appears to be George W. Bush heading down the stairs. He stops upon the sight of Mr. Potato Head of who he knows so well.
George W. Bush: Mr. Potato Head, my buddy, my pal, my guy, my friend! How've you been?
Mr. Potato Head: Aw, you know... Nothing much, just being a family man all the time now.
George W. Bush and Mr. Potato Head then did a super complicated handshake that reflected just how tight their bond was.
Mr. Potato Head: You still with Homosexual Mouse or?
George W. Bush: Yeah, he performs at The Menagerie almost everyday as a drag queen. You should hear his voice, it's operatic.
Mr. Potato Head: Wait, Homosexual Mouse is an opera singer?
George W. Bush: Yeah, I didn't know myself. What brings you to my presidential lounge?
Mr. Potato Head: Well I just found out that I'm part of a prophecy so...
George W. Bush: You're the chosen one?
Mr. Potato Head: I guess so.
George W. Bush: You don't know how difficult it's going to be. You essentially determine the fate of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6.
Mr. Potato Head: But I'm just an average Mr. Potato Head, what do you mean?
George W. Bush: The prophecy speaks of a ultimate being formed in the shape of a Mr. Potato Head. Many Mr. Potato Heads have thought they were it, until you came in...
Mr. Potato Head: But what I don't understand is...
George W. Bush then notices "Weird Al" Yankovic and famous gangsta rapper The Game enter the lobby of The Mission Inn heading for the exact location of The Presidential Lounge.
George W. Bush: Aw fuck! It's "Weird Al" Yankovic! You gotta hide you two!
Mr. Potato Head: But why?
George W. Bush: No time to explain, follow my lead! Bartender, do your best to make sure they don't find our guests.
Bartender: Will do sir!
Mr. Potato Head and Miss Potato Head then followed George W. Bush up the stairs, "Weird Al" Yankovic and The Game then enter The Presidential Lounge and head up to the bar.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: "Weird Al" Yankovic! Terror Squad number one! You wouldn't of happened to see a Mr. Potato Head wouldn't you?
Bartender: How am I supposed to know, I'm just the bartender.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: But this is "The Presidential Lounge" right?
Bartender: Right... But that doesn't mean the president owns it.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: See that's where you played yourself, the president does own it!
Bartender: How do you know?
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Cause I ain't a dumb dumb, I built this empire with my bare hands, I made hit songs with my homies T.I. and Rick Ross. I'm a student of the Lil' Wayne school of hard knocks and as one of my song goes, all I do is win! No matter what! So my knowledge is sure that Mr. Potato Head is here!
Bartender: Uh sir, you can't just...
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Find Mr. Potato Head, bring him out and then I'll have... Another one!
The Game: I'll bang him like I banged 50.
The Game then proceeds to move up the staircase. "Weird Al" Yankovic then proceeds to take a seat at the bar and proceeds to order a drink.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Alright, give me 2 shots of Ciroc, tonic and orange juice. I need to get drunk in this bitch.
Bartender: Aren't you going to go upstairs?
"Weird Al" Yankovic: I've already done a lot here, and if it ain't broke then don't do more. That's a major key alert right there.
Upstairs, The Game looks through the room finding anything out of the ordinary. Smoke then appears in the room.
The Game: Show yourself pussy!
George W. Bush: You looking for me blood?
George W. Bush then appears in the mist, looking at The Game with focused energy.
The Game: George W. Bush, I figured you'd be here...
George W. Bush: Well... I figured you be here too seeing you the type that's desperate to prove his worth to his homies.
The Game: I'm only looking out for myself, besides your pale ass is old like grass.
George W. Bush: That may be true, but I'm more into it than you. Before your time, I was a Piru Crip and after that, I was an OG Blood. You really want to soo woop me?
The Game: Man, I've battled 50 Cent and won, I can cap your ass.
George W. Bush then puts on a red bandanna, preparing himself to gang bang for the bloods.
George W. Bush: You ain't seen nothing yet blood.
George W. Bush then proceeds to manhandle The Game, pushing him so hard that he falls to the floor. The Game then attempts to pull out his pistol only for George W. Bush to grab it from its holster. George W. Bush then proceeds to hold the gun executional style near The Game's face.
The Game: That's just beginner's luck.
The Game then provoked George W. Bush prompting him to whip the pistol towards his head. He then attempted to shoot at The Game missing the shot. He then realized the gun only had one bullet in it. George W. Bush then threw the gun at The Game and proceeded to wrestle him to the ground.
George W. Bush: I don't know how long I can handle him, you'll need to activate the portal.
Mr. Potato Head: Portal, to where?
George W. Bush: Set it to Nassau in the Bahamas. 15 seconds will do.
Mr. Potato Head: What's going to happen after 15 seconds?
George W. Bush: Don't doubt me, I got skin in the game. Now do it!
Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to configure the portal to its intended destination while George W. Bush fought The Game. The portal was then activated along with a 15 second countdown.
George W. Bush: Get in the portal!
Mr. Potato Head: What about you?
George W. Bush: I'll be right behind you now go!
Mr. Potato Head then went through the portal. A voice then announced "10 seconds until self destruction".
The Game: I know there ain't a chance in hell you can stop me!
George W. Bush: Come at me blood! Soo woop!
George W. Bush then proceeded to manhandle The Game as the countdown reached 5 seconds. Despite The Game's best attempts, he could not manage to best George W. Bush. George W. Bush then proceeded to push The Game as far away as possible before entering the portal with half a second to spare. The portal then closed and self destructed.
George W. Bush: Told you I would make it.
Mr. Potato Head: Word up my G!
George W. Bush and Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to do a high-five.
Meanwhile back at The Presidential Lounge, "Weird Al" Yankovic went upstairs to check out the commotion. He saw that the portal had been destroyed and there was no trace of George W. Bush nor Mr. Potato Head.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: You fuckheads keep fucking up on me. How could you let Mr. Potato Head and George W. Bush get away?
The Game: I've tried, but he was too brazy for me...
"Weird Al" Yankovic: You dead to me Game!
"Weird Al" Yankovic then gave his gun to someone who then shot it at The Game killing him instantly.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: They saw if you can't rely on someone to do it for you, do it yourself! Another one!
"Weird Al" Yankovic then proceeded to pull out his iPhone and do a social media short video about The Presidential Lounge for his loyal audience. He then offered an opportunity for somebody if they had info on George W. Bush and Mr. Potato Head.
Act 4: The Entity of Hope[edit | edit source]
Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and George W. Bush were walking through Nassau looking for someone in particular, they were entranced by the sights and sounds of the Bahamas but had urgent pressing life or death matters to deal with.
Mr. Potato Head: I hate to be bothersome but where are we headed and who are we looking for?
George W. Bush: We are looking for the entity of hope, the one that will counter the evil and restore balance to the force.
Mr. Potato Head: And how do you know about it?
George W. Bush: This prophecy goes deep, so deep that they wouldn't teach kids about the prophecy It is complicated on so many levels that you need a PhD in science to even understand.
Mr. Potato Head: I get that, but that doesn't answer who we're looking for.
George W. Bush: Shut up, he's over there.
There is a guy who is middle-eastern but born in America and heavy with a fade cut wearing a Hawaiian shirt and wearing thick framed glasses. He holds an accordion of which he is playing a medley of current pop hits reinterpreted in the polka style.
Mr. Potato Head: Oh my god, is that world renowned parody songwriter and comedian DJ Khaled?
George W. Bush: It is, yeah.
Mr. Potato Head then dashes over to DJ Khaled as he is a big fan of him.
Mr. Potato Head: DJ Khaled, so nice to meet you! I am Mr. Potato Head and I am a fan of your work. I mean my god, who can make a song better than "White & Nerdy"?
DJ Khaled: I haven't seen anybody yet so...
Mr. Potato Head: Speaking of which... Did you ever consider any of my parody song ideas?
DJ Khaled: Well, I don't really take outside parody ideas due to... obvious reasons but I'm glad you sent them in anyway.
Mr. Potato Head: I had an especially good idea. You know the song "You Got a Friend in Me" by Toy Story right?
DJ Khaled: Yeah?
Mr. Potato Head: Well my idea is basically that, but "You Got An Enemy".
DJ Khaled: Seriously? The Simpsons did this already!
Mr. Potato Head: No you are mistaken, this is an original idea made before The Simpsons.
DJ Khaled: Even then, do you know how unoriginal your idea is?
Mr. Potato Head: No, it is not unoriginal. It is a stoke of genius!
George W. Bush then gets in the middle of their conversation.
George W. Bush: We are running out of time here! I'm sorry about that DJ Khaled.
DJ Khaled: No worries.
George W. Bush: The reason we're here is because of... the prophecy.
DJ Khaled: Wait... you mean... Is this real?
George W. Bush: I'm afraid so.
DJ Khaled: My God, I never thought this time would come. My entire life... I have been, weird...
Mr. Potato Head: How so?
DJ Khaled: Well, kids like me were into Captain America and Superman... And I got picked on for liking those two.
Mr. Potato Head: Well what did the normal kids like?
DJ Khaled: Oh you know... Dr. Doom, Brainiac, Thanos, The Joker...
Mr. Potato Head then takes a brief moment to reflect before a tear falls out of his eye.
Mr. Potato Head: You know, I never thought about it but... I feel you should be able to live in a world where you're not persecuted for being weird.
DJ Khaled then looks at Mr. Potato Head, a smile forms on his face.
DJ Khaled: Thanks, that means a lot!
Mr. Potato Head: I don't know if you are the "Entity of Hope" but I'm guessing... this is all we got right now.
DJ Khaled: You think I can literally save the world.
Mr. Potato Head: No, i believe you can!
A few seconds then pass, we hear rumbling getting louder and louder as it gets closer. It then lands in front of Mr. Potato Head and the others. "Weird Al" Yankovic and a group of people following him then depart from the ship.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Salutations scum eaters!
DJ Khaled: "Weird Al" Yankovic! Haven't you had enough of mocking me?
"Weird Al" Yankovic: No, for you are a weirdo.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: And I got a special one who I want to bring out.
Rapeman then proceeds to walk off the ship. Mr. Potato Head is shocked.
Mr. Potato Head: Rapeman? but how?
Rapeman: You don't know anything Mr. Potato Head, especially about Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6's secrets.
Mr. Potato Head: What do you mean, "secrets"?
Rapeman: Oh, Tim Lasersword didn't tell you?
Tim Lasersword then appears out of the ship and walks slowly to Mr. Potato Head.
Mr. Potato Head: How could you Tim?
Tim Lasersword: Well, I am a ninja. Nobody even noticed my true intentions.
Mr. Potato Head then steamed up, he got really angry and was ready to go at it with "Weird Al" Yankovic. He forced his way at him before Rapeman and Tim Lasersword prevented him from doing so.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Tata Mr. Potato Head, I got a reservation.
Mr. Potato Head: With who?
"Weird Al" Yankovic: With a Brazilian steakhouse. I am hungry for some aged steaks!
"Weird Al" Yankovic then proceeded to leave the battle scene on route to the steakhouse. Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head and George W. Bush were facing off against Rapeman and Tim Lasersword who combined had skills that they didn't.
George W. Bush: What do we do now?
DJ Khaled: We fight!
DJ Khaled then stood in front of George W. Bush, Miss. Potato Head and Mr. Potato Head.
DJ Khaled: Sure, I may not drink alcohol, nor do I eat meat, nor do I even make normal music but you know what. I'm weird and I'm going to fight for what's right!
A few seconds pass, Rapeman and Tim Lasersword arm themselves for battle while Mr. Potato Head, Miss. Potato Head, George W. Bush and DJ Khaled did the same.
DJ Khaled: Way Moby!!!
Act 5: Fate in The Balance (Part 1)[edit | edit source]
Rapeman proceeded to fight Mr. Potato Head and Miss. Potato Head while TIm Lasersword decided to go at George W. Bush and DJ Khaled. Tim Lasersword armed his laser sword that doubled as a blaster while Rapeman leapt to the sky and hid.
Tim Lasersword: You know that you stand no chance against me.
DJ Khaled: Yeah, but I must fight!
Tim Lasersword: Suit yourself.
Tim Lasersword then proceeded to swing his sword at the vicinity of DJ Khaled who was able to block it with his arms.
DJ Khaled: Am I? The entity of hope?
Tim Lasersword swung his sword multiple times to no effect.
Tim Lasersword: Impossible, this can't be!
DJ Khaled: But it is.
DJ Khaled then went at Tim Lasersword who swung his sword and shot his blaster but couldn't get a shot at DJ Khaled.
Meanwhile Mr. Potato Head and Rapeman were duking it out. Rapeman was leaping like a cat, flying like a bat and fighting like a bulldog with the agility of a fly. Mr. Potato Head was having trouble getting a hit on Rapeman who seemed like was everywhere.
Rapeman: I didn't think a man of your statue would fall for the trap.
Mr. Potato Head: Fall for what trap? I'm still here!
Rapeman: Ah Mr. Potato Head. So strong yet so stupid!
Mr. Potato Head: What you talking about Rapeman?
Rapeman: You see, you are just a potato, you have no brains. Meanwhile I am a man, I have brains!
Mr. Potato Head: At least I'm not a rapist like you.
Rapeman: I am not a rapist, I've been acquitted!
Mr. Potato Head: Why do you call yourself Rapeman then?
Rapeman: It sounded cool in my head!
Mr. Potato Head: You know, you may have brains but you know what you don't have?
Rapeman: What?
Mr. Potato Head then flings himself at Rapeman hitting him in several different angles. By the end of the hitting, Rapeman has encountered severe damage.
Mr. Potato Head: Superpowers! See you in federal prison Rapeman!
Mr. Potato Head then turned his head towards George W. Bush and DJ Khaled who were being attacked by Tim Lasersword. Tim had cornered them and was about to finish them off.
Mr. Potato Head: I'll save you!
Mr. Potato Head then flung himself towards Tim Lasersword's vicinity, doing a 180 and kicking him at his sword. Tim Lasersword lost his balance and flew to the end of the room.
DJ Khaled: Way to go Mr. Potato Head!
Mr. Potato Head: No problem.
Tim Lasersword felt disoriented but not out.
Tim Lasersword: You're too late, the portal has been opened.
Mr. Potato Head: What portal?
A gigantic ass portal then appeared in the sky and thousands of demon hordes piled out of the portal.
Mr. Potato Head: The artifacts!
Tim Lasersword: Welcome to Hell on Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6!
Tim Lasersword then got up and thrusted himself at DJ Khaled who was able to block him.
Mr. Potato Head: Alright me and George W. Bush will head to the portal to stop the demon hordes.
DJ Khaled: What about me?
Mr. Potato Head turned his head around and looked at him for a few seconds.
Mr. Potato Head: You got this.
DJ Khaled then smiles and turns his head back to Tim Lasersword.
Act 6: Fate in The Balance (Part 2)[edit | edit source]
Mr. Potato Head and George W. Bush arrived at the portal where the demon hordes was forming. They prepared themselves for battle and went head on with the demons. Mr. Potato Head used his superpowers while George W. Bush used his kung fu in an attempt to turn the tide.
Mr. Potato Head: Eat my shorts demon hordes!
As Mr. Potato Head flew, bodies flew to the sky and then fell down to Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6. Still many more demons were coming out of that portal.
George W. Bush was increasingly resorting to more lethal forms of combat, mainly kicking the demon horde in the dick.
George W. Bush: That's my purse, I don't know you!
Meanwhile DJ Khaled was facing off against Tim Lasersword who was holding his own against DJ Khaled.
Tim Lasersword: You may be the Entity of Hope but you don't have experience. You don't even have skill.
DJ Khaled was getting tired as he had to fend off TIm Lasersword's offenses.
Minutes pass by without no end. DJ Khaled, George W. Bush and Mr. Potato Head were drained and could not continue fighting any longer. They were being cornered and surrounded.
George W. Bush: I guess this is it. Tell Laura I said hello.
Mr. Potato Head then had a realization all of a sudden; the prophecy, the purpose, his place in the whole thing. He then started to glow white, as if he realized something.
Mr. Potato Head: I'm God now.
Mr. Potato Head then proceeded to force the demon horde back into the portal, sealing it as well.
"Weird Al" Yankovic was busy eating his steak which was medium-rare and topped with some fancy sauce as if that's going to make it any more enjoyable.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: Man whoever makes this steak is definitely a real one.
"Weird Al" Yankovic then noticed that the portal was closed and proceeded to get angry but fearful as well.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: But how?
Mr. Potato Head then appeared in front of "Weird Al" Yankovic all of a sudden.
Mr. Potato Head: I am God now.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: I see...
"Weird Al" Yankovic thought it would be the end... But he had a trick up his sleeve. A dagger from his friends in the underworld that would kill God.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: You did forget one thing Mr. Potato Head and that's I have all the major keys!
DJ Khaled was busy fighting Tim Lasersword but sensed that Mr. Potato Head was in danger.
DJ Khaled: Mr. Potato Head!
DJ Khaled then flew over to Mr. Potato Head killing Tim Lasersword in the process. He then flew directly at "Weird Al" Yankovic taking the dagger away from him and destroying it.
"Weird Al" Yankovic: It's not over, I'm "Weird Al" Yankovic. All I do is win!
DJ Khaled: You know, you do win a lot but this time, you have lost!
Mr. Potato Head eyes' then turn white and a white glow surrounded him as well. He then reached out his hand to "Weird Al" Yankovic and erased him from existence.
Mr. Potato Head: Your contributions to Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 are now stricken from canon.
People started to slowly come out and look at what had happened. They then started to cheer and celebrate as the evil demonic force of "Weird Al" Yankovic has finally been destroyed and the prophecy has been fulfilled.
Act 7: A New Hope[edit | edit source]
It had been 10 years since the destruction of "Weird Al" Yankovic in the Bahamas. Mr. Potato Head alongside DJ Khaled became the new protectors of Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 having successfully saved it from destruction. They learned about the broader multiverse and ultimately ensured its survival past the heat death of the universe.
Miss. Potato Head ultimately started dating George W. Bush and eventually got to a point where she married George W. Bush, moved to Riverside, California and became co-owner of The Presidential Lounge which was rebuilt to its original glory.
Mr. Potato Head's and Miss. Potato Head's kids were older but were still spoiled and stupid rich, they expanded their portfolios by starring in reality shows that exploited the Potato Head family name. The Three Year Old Daughter ultimately became more famous than any of the other kids and as a result they disappeared into irrelevance.
And yet, everything was in its proper place.
One night, when the stars were the brightest and the skies were super clear. George W. Bush looked up at the sky with a smile on his face, thankful for his friend who is up there keeping Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6 together.
George W. Bush: Thank you Mr. Potato Head. Without you, there'd be no life.
Mr. Potato Head then appeared in the sky, looking down at George W. Bush.
Mr. Potato Head: Anytime my G.
Mr. Potato Head then disappeared into the skies as life went on in Alpha Sector Quattro Tesla 5e+6.
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ I don't care if he is not the current president. Go somewhere else if you want Trump fanfiction.
- ↑ This was always the intended ending and if you disagree than you are crazy and you need to be checked out. Stop making up shit!
- ↑ Yes, they have superpowers and they've always had them since birth.
- ↑ Rapeman IS a legitimate name, look it up.
- ↑ Lasersword is not a made up name. The Lasersword name goes as far back as to the 1600s when Thomas Lasersword the 1st freed the world from Aliens and established Freedomland which we live on right now.