My friend Joey

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My friend Joey looking very angry. Or very constipated. Or maybe both. After all, wouldn't YOU be angry about being constipated?

I know, I know! Pages on me, my friends, my schoolmates, my teachers, etc. aren't welcomed, but I just HAVE TO tell you about what happened to Joey. I already told this to Diane, but others must read this!! First though, if anyone's reading this and doesn't know who Joey is, I will tell you few things about how awesome he is.

Joey[edit | edit source]

This is some kid who lives down the street from Joey. I don't know why his picture is on here.

So like I told you, Joey is really awesome! Even more awesome than Jimmy and Moey and Sean and Susan and Dick put together, and much more awesome than Brian. I know, because we grew up together. He had a very sexy family and they were very good to him, except for his dad who hammered him, his mom who nailed him, and his uncle who drilled his hole. I didn't know what Joey exactly meant when he said those funny things, but then our holes went to sunday school together. Did you also know we used to break into his dad's bedroom and dig out all the porn mags we could find? His stupid dad didn't...... His dad was even so cool that he let us sneak into movies, where we got choked in popcorn, and Joey would come up with lots of funny shit all the time. Too bad I never had a videocamera, cuz I would put it on youtube! show it to all my friends. Lol.

But anyway, Joey always said other people were potheads while he smoked marihuana. Some time ago he told me he didn't believe God existed and he sometimes criticized my religious beliefs (much like he criticized Timmy's way of eating yoghurt). Joey said he was an atheist and in May he burned down the church filled with people and they fucking screamed. I think some nice policemen came to Joey's home and using teargas put him to the floor (just like that other time Jesse brought that pink stuff and that other dumbass thought it was icecream)

New info on Joey[edit | edit source]

OK, so here's what I know. Someone told them Joey was mentally ill. I know Joey and he's not that mentally ill! He just doesn't like religious meetings. Joey also told the press he admired a dude who butchered his schoolmates with a knife, because they were religious hypocrites who deserved to die anyway. I know what you say, but I like Joey a lot. He tells me lotsa funny stories, funny like Nietzsche, and he listens to good music. I just think he shouldn't have burned down the kindergarten and those helpless babies in it. Now he's behind bars so I can't hang out with him as often as I'd want to, and that makes me feel pissed off at society, but you know what my mom said? She said I'll soon find a new friend like Joey, though it's not easy to find a new friend like Joey. No-one tells filthy jokes like Joey; no one sneaks into girls locker rooms like Joey, and no one sets people on fire like Joey.

Joey's trip to prison[edit | edit source]

So it's been some months since Joey's case went to court and we haven't really huffed kittens together since then. You already know they told him he can stay fourteen years in jail (arson, homicide, resisting arrest etc. etc.), but did you know he also had to pay for some stuff he damaged (an estimated sum of 8 million $)? Help me collect some money for Joey so he can feel better again. Joey wrote me and told jail is not so bad, tho he would like to rub and fist pussie... tight, wet, furry, moisty, greasy, oily, spongy, squishy, damp, mushy, slimy pussie... anything except the stench holes in the wall. But he's got humour so he laughs at his misery, and his cellmate is a dude who had hacked up his own family and chewed their flesh (his family was so poor that they couldn't feed him).

Joey gets real well along with his new friend. They now play in a black metal band together! Joey does lyrics and guitars, and the psycho dude throws stuff around. A serial rapist who lives in the next cell donates some growling as well as burping, and Monica and Phoebe think it's really cool.

Monica says hi!

Joey and band invitation[edit | edit source]

I know Joey sent a demo tape to the mega-famous Norwegian death metal band Rhapsody? They loved it and wanted Joey's band to open for them at Ozzfest. Unfortunately there were some personal stuff going on which prevented his dream from cuming true. (Remember that joke we always used to giggle at? Yeah, that one was Tarzan's favorite)

So Joey screwed up his one chance of getting more infamous. Just like he fucked up all his chances of having a real life. That's because his mother was an obese fat pig who didn't care about him and ate all his food.

JESSE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY[edit | edit source]


People calling Joey a fucking loser or grade A moron STFU[edit | edit source]

Ok, so I know there are a lot of fags out there who say lots of shitty things about Joey over the internet. If you're reading this because you want to bash him and think you're clever, I'VE READ EVERYTHING YOU'VE SAID ABOUT HIM. It's easy for you to say who don't really know his sockpuppet as I do. I don't know if it's true what you say about him, that Joey is a loser, moron, mental case or child molester, but I know that Joey IS my friend, and will be for the rest of my life! I don't think you cowards should go posting anonymously over the internet calling other people crazy assholes when you really don't know him well. I can be completely bat fuck insane, but I don't remember ever having crashed a goddamn UFO into a goddamn parking meter!!!!

Hey, that sounds like a fucked up plan, doesn't it? I have to call Joey and ask what he would think about it, and hopefully we'll go do it tomorrow! Anyway, that's what happened, and here's the coolest thing: I got it on video tape!