Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 5

May 5: Cinco de Mayonnaise (Mexico)

1862 - Mexico defeats France in a drawn-out game of Risk.
1893 - New York Stock Exchange crashes, has its driving privileges suspended for a year.
1900 - Queen Victoria declares that the fish fork is henceforth the official favored piece cutlery of Great Britain.
1925 - Tennessee biology teacher John Scopes is arrested for teaching electrocution in school; is forced to teach evolution instead.
1927 - The government of South Africa declares those African clicky noises to be an official language. "It's called isiXhosa!" they click.
1989 - The United States takes some obscure Mexican holiday and fills it with cheesy gorditas. Yuck.
2014 - Greeks protest austerity, bad weather and the pebble stuck inside their left sock.
2016 - Imprisoned crime lord Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán receives an infamous "salted handy." ¡Ayayay!

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