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- 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the trendy Vespa scooter, rides it across the Atlantic in search of idyllic cobblestone streets to glide across.
- 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidentally squashed by a hippo. (Pictured)
- 1985 - Live Aid Concerts announced, starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated.
- 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale spotted in IKEA.
- 2006 - "National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA" organised by The Association for Most Ignored Relatives, founders of "National Younger Half-Brother Day", and "National Grandpa's-26-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day."
- 2006 - Africa on a diet, pop stars have saved the world!
- 2016 - Pokémon Sun and Moon comes out for the 3DS. Buy that shit nigga.
- 2037 - Young MC turns 70, the irony threatens Earth's existence.