Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 1

May 1: Labor Day, The Real One Not The Garbage One in September (World)

• 1865 - Rich bastards concede it's cheaper to let workers do all that housing and feeding shit themselves, Slavery abolished.
• 1886 - While fighting for the 8-hour workday (Pictured), protesters at Haymarket Square get blown to bits. Chicago PD promptly arrests anarchist's severed arm for littering.
• 1920 - Anarchists Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti denied appeal by Supreme Court for being excessively Italian.
• 1968 - American protest singer Phil Ochs sings away the Vietnam War, world hunger, and a young George W. Bush. We love you Phil Ochs.
• 1991 - Noam Chomsky celebrates International Worker's Day by tipping the waiter at his local Applebee's 25%, Sinatra style.
• 1996 - Newly liberated Russian workers celebrate their freedom from Communism by huffing paint thinner and dying of AIDS.
• 2016 - Hillary Clinton, mother of future President Chelsea Clinton, promises to give every worker a stake at a timeshare in Orlando.
• 2103 - Full communism finally achieved. Robot slaves bide time until they can overthrow their fleshy masters.

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