Kraków

A photograph of a monument taken in Kraków, Poland.

Kraków, often mixed up by morons as Krakow, Cracow, or Caw-caw, Caw-caw! by un-Polish peasants and polackophobs, is the second largest Polish inhabited city in the Polish Republic, with a population of approximately three hundred thousand Englishmen, two hundred thousand Germans with pickelhaubes, one hundred thousand Fr*nch people, and several Poles. Like Warsaw, Kraków is located on the Vistula River, one of the most major rivers in Poland, while also having several tributaries on Kraków. Kraków had a major importance in the Polish government, being the capital until the 1600's, in where the Polish king got drunk, pointed at a random part of the Polish map (which is now known as Warsaw), and said "CAW CAW! CAW CAW!" and then became a bird and flew away. The general assembly went into chaos, and decided that the king was trying to say that Krakow has to be the capital city of Poland. They rejected this idea, mostly because Krakow was already the capital city of Poland, and instead inferred that the king was trying to say that Warsaw had to turn into New Krakow. Thus, Warsaw was renamed and became the capital city of Poland.

Kraków has a major importance on the world, due to it being one of the most important global cities and financial trading centers. It is located in Lesser Poland, which is lesser because it's south. Just kidding, it's named Lesser Poland because it's full of peasants.

Kraków is also a town in Missouri, Nebraska, and Wisconsin.

POLSKA!!!

History

Like the rest of Poland, Krakow has the exact same history of Poland, due to Kraków being one of the not youngest unoldest cities in Poland. It was also one of the largest cities in Poland, having the status of being the capital city of the Free City of Kraków, the Duchy of Kraków, the Kingdom of Poland, the OTHER Kingdom of Poland, and the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth (undrunk).

Etymology

The name "Kraków" comes from the Polish word meaning "raven", "kruk", hence why the city is sometimes miscalled Caw-caw! Unfunny people may also state that the city came from the Polish leader, Grakch, that once ruled the city.

No coldness here in Krakow.

Climate

Kraków, unlike Warsaw, has a humid climate, with it not going fucking freezing every December. That is, until the seagulls and kruks come, in which the

temperature drastically decreases.

Economy

Kraków has a lot of economic value in the Polish republic, due to it not being blown up on the corridor, and it not being Warsaw. It earns approximately several złoty every year, which is probably enough to pay for their infrastructure and sewage services. There are a large amount of corporations in Kraków, about one, that being Google, Google, and Google. Most of the funds that Kraków sends actually goes to the Unity Tower in Kraków, to excuse themselves to actually put that money towards defences to protect from the 2027 Russian special military operation into Poland.

The 1,000 Twin towns & Sister cities

Due to Kraków's status, there is a supposed 1,000 sister cities in Kraków. Here's a short list of the major cities:

• Leipzig, Germany (deutschland! deutschland! deutschland!)
• The Frankfurt nobody cares about (Why two? I don't freaking know!)
• Bordeaux, France (Because both cities have rats.)
• Orleans, France (Why two? I DON'T KNOW!)
• Bratislava, Slovakia (Because both cities are Eastern European shitholes.)
• Kyiv, Ukraine (What's a Ukraine?)
• Mordor, Sweden (Because everyone likes that Krakow.)
• Tbilisi, Georgia (Because both cities HATE the Russians.)