Check If You Are The Polackophob!
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Welcome to the Check If You Are The Polackophob test center! Here in the Check If You Are The Polackophob You can check your real, hidden deeply in your mind, attitude to the great nation of the Polish people. We would like to invite You to fill up this test we had prepared before You came in here.
Our center is governed by Polish immigrants in your country. You won't believe that thousands of us are there! The test is really simple because we, the Poles, know that <insert Your nation name here> are generally not educated as your education system is failing (that's why we need to come to Your country and take up your jobs and help Your falling country to stay afloat the waters of the global economy).
Let's then start the test (please note down your answers so you will be able to check your score; please note down because we know you won't remember all answers or you will want to cheat; please note down on a separate piece of paper as our center is poor and we can't provide you with the test that you can fill up literally):
1. Poland is placed in...
A) Central Europe
B) Asia
C) Eastern Europe
2. The country responsible for starting the II World War was...
A) Germany
B) Israel
C) Poland
3. The most ruined country during the II World War was...
A) Poland
B) Zimbabwe
C) Germany
4. The level of Poland's importance in the contemporary world is...
A) Reasonable
B) Mediocre
C) Nobody cares about Poland
5. The first word that comes to your mind after hearing Poland is...
A) Vodka
B) Really nothing
C) Thievery
6. You think that the most beautiful women in the world live in...
A) Poland
B) England or United States
C) The Czech Republic, Russia, Ukraine or some Asian country.
7. If you think about really bad soccer team you think about...
A) San Marino football team
B) United States football team
C) Poland football team
8. If you know that the guy that stays next to you comes from Poland, you...
A) ...don't care about this.
B) ...tell him some Polish joke.
C) ...become more vigilant about your pockets.
9. If you have to speak to a Pole in English language, you...
A) ...speak on the level of the Pole.
B) ...speak as usually but you omit some slang words.
C) ...speak slang and laugh at the Pole that only 6% of the Poles actually speak English.
10. If your car was stolen, you...
A) ...call the police.
B) ...buy the new car; you don't call the police because you know that they wouldn't find it.
C) ...you travel to Poland and you check all the biggest car auctions there. When you find your car, you buy it back from the Polack.
11. Your daughter was raped by unidentified guy. You...
A) ...call the police.
B) ...call the police and you ask them that you want to cut off rapist's balls.
C) ...visit nearby house inhabited by the Polish immigrants and you kill male Pole aged 18-44; then you are arrested for murder and the guy who raped your daughter was actually this Slovak living thre houses further.
12. The first famous Pole that comes to your mind is...
A) John Paul II or Lech Wałęsa
B) I don't know any famous Pole
C) Unabomber Kaczynski
13. The capital of Poland is...
A) Warsaw
B) Warsaw, Illinois
C) Kiev
14. Which alphabet is used by the Polish language?
A) Latin alphabet with some diacritic letters
B) Cyryllic alphabet
C) Poles can't write
15. Poles are mostly...
A) Roman Catholics
B) Eastern Orthodox Catholics
C) Retards
15. If you hear Polish guy speaking Polish language you hear...
A) My hobby is learning Polish so I think I could understand him at least partially.
B) I hear rustling
C) I hear tracksuit wiped on the gravel; and my ears are bleeding.
16. Who is right in the Polish-German conflict about left German grounds in Poland that German people want to get back and courts are giving them back evicting Polish families of their houses where they've been living for decades!
A) Poland is right! Germans are retarded!
B) Who the hell cares!?
C) Germans are obviously right! Who the hell cares that they attacked Poland in 1939? If they left their grounds in Poland they should get them back!
17. Is Poland a member of European Union?
A) Yes
B) What's European Union?
C) No
18. The head of Polish country is...
A) President
B) King
C) Priest Tadeusz Rydzyk
19. If you think about typical Pole, you think he works as...
A) An office worker or a builder
B) A plumber or a priest
C) A cleaner or a janitor
20. You think that the word Polack... is
A) The ethnic slur that shouldn't be used by anybody
B) The word describing a person of Polish descent in a polite way
C) The ethnic slur that shouldn't be using to describe people of Polish descent as it's too polite.
21. If you could choose which nation should be banned to arrive to your country, you would choose...
A) Germans or Russians
B) Mexicans
C) Poles
22. If you could decide to remove an existence of particular nation, you would remove...
A) Germans, Jews or Russians
B) English, American or French people
C) Polish people
Summary[edit | edit source]
Great! You got through the whole test! We're so proud of you! Are you sure you answered all the questions? Still sure? OK, great! Now you can check your score! You may even leave your score on our scoreboard!
- Most A's: You're not the Polackophob! You're the Polackophil! If you are not Polish or the assimilated Jew living in Poland, you might suffering from mild mental retardation or at least insanity but you are welcome to our country. As a reward you will get a useless Polish visa and a bottle of the best Polish vodka! You may now order a ticket to our noble country. Oh, you may consider learning Polish language first.
- Most B's: You're typical ignorant who got a terribly bad education and is simply stupid - not retarded because it's all fault of your country that didn't teach you the basic knowledge about the world! Go back to school you fucking American, or whoever you are, idiot! We don't want you in Poland unless you bring a bag of money, then you are welcomed.
- Most C's: Crickey! Ja pierdolę, kurwa! If you are not a Jew or German, you are fucking retarded! Did you really choose most C's!? How stupid you have to be to think like that! Have you ever been to school!? Do you know what a TOLERANCE is!? YOU ARE FUCKING POLACKOPHOB!!! How can you accuse Poles of being such bad people! It's unbelievable! Now, we all go to your house and we're gonna rape your mom, your daughter and your wife, kill your dog and steal your money!... And eat all your sausage!(or not. Only polish sausage is good)
FUCK OFF, DZIWKO!!!