Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/January 29

January 29: Conservative Chic Day

• 1850 - Henry Clay introduces the "Great Compromise of 1850" to congress, which frees all slaves, but only on weekends.
• 1861 - Kansas is admitted into the union only because the country would look kinda weird with a Kansas-shaped gap in the middle of it.
• 1916 - Paris is bombed by German Zeppelins during World War I, French are amazed by the steampunk aesthetic.
• 2000 - Conservative columnist Ben Shapiro, world record holder for longest stay inside a locker, loses his virginity to an especially sensuous pair of tweed pants. (Pictured)
• 2009 - Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is sentenced to fourteen years in jail for misleading advertising after the Senatorship he was selling was only an assistant mayoral council seat.
• 2017 - Right-wing extremist shoots up a mosque in Quebec City, media condones the Muslim community for being divisive and not shooting themselves.

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