Babel:OW

Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,691 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse: Stories | Delightful People | Famous Quotes | Abnormal People | Quite Quaint | Coherent Oscar's Picks | Straight Index | Works in other Genres...

Another Oscar Wilde picture. From: Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article According to God's True Word, here are the worst 100* ways to deliver bad news. If you have to tell someone you crashed his car, killed his dog or banged his mum, don't use any of these methods (or at least start at the top). * God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticize divine numeration policy. (Full article...) Recently featured: I ACCIDENTELATY CREATED A MEME · UnNews:New documentary challenges Simpsons aliens · Al Gore Archive · Vote for featured articles You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. More of Oscar's picks edit Why was I born with such contemporaries? December 10: Nobel Prize ceremony awards 1901 - The Nobel Prize for Having Died is awarded to Swedish chemist and industrialist Alfred Nobel, for having died on this day in 1896. 1936 - The Nobel Prize for Abdicating the Throne is awarded to Edward VIII, for being the only British monarch to voluntarily relinquish the throne. 1945 - Nobel Prize for Killing People is controversially awarded to Joseph Stalin, sparking a split in the Nobel committee between pro-gulag and pro-holocaust members. 1997 - Nobel Prize for Cynicism is awarded, yet again, to some guy who only won it because he is friends with the voting elite. 2004 - The Nobel Prize in Procrastination will be awarded soon. Really. Just give me five seconds, okay? The history of the United Kingdom	edit The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it. Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk (Pictured) Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events) Solipsist suicide bomber "not true solipsist" says solipsist community Book finally sells after 27 years, now Hollywood's calling UnNews remembers Stan Lee How would Ye sound as a metal band? Vote your ass off Kang and Kodos offensive, claims documentary RWNJ vandalizes Halloween billboard ad It looks like your ad blocker is on UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds Trump blows up the outside world in Soundgarden tribute Supreme Court says Mississippi River is too gay, renames it to Mistersippi Louis C.K. goes outside in George Michael tribute John McCain dies at 81 Metal Machine Music overtakes Chris Gaines as worst selling album of all time Fox News: 9 out of 10 Aretha Franklins are Patti LaBelle Halloween soundtrack arrives in October Madonna is 60. Feel old yet? UnNews remembers Aretha Franklin TV's Mrs. Garrett dies at 92 Lordy, there are tapes! Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history The Dark Knight: Ten years later Chevy Chase, Maryland to change name to Bill Murray Donald Trump farts A Saucerful of Secrets is 50 years old! Also Michael Jackson Today in London edit It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know... From Uncyclopedia's playwrights: ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? Read on
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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