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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,629 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

Bjork pbear half.JPG

There could've been many reasons why I, Thinker St. James, had ended up in the capital of Iceland one brisk winter's eve in 1998. Perhaps it was the way the snow gently covered the trees, or how the streets twinkled with a beautiful sheen of ice. Maybe it was the twelve kilos of cocaine I was smuggling. Thinking on it now, I'm fairly certain it was the cocaine.

Regardless of the why, all I could think about was my reality: there I was, trotting about the streets of Reykjavík, so insanely cold that my testicles had long since ascended into the fleeting warmth of my body. But what could I do? I was in the middle of a strange city filled with strange people, carrying a dufflebag filled with 25 pounds of pure Bogotá bullion. Nearly three newborn babies-worth of nose candy. I decided to play it safe; I found the nearest go-go bar with a mission to get hammered. (Full article...)

Recently featured: Kurt Vonnegut · Alexander Hamilton · Niggers

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Rare image of the invention of alcohol.

September 25: Pastafarian New Year's Eve

  • 75 BC - Julius Caesar assembles a small army to punish the prophet Mosey for ransoming him at too low a cost.
  • 20 - God invents Grues to punish Jews who prosecuted Jesus.
  • 879 - Vikings find the word "Viking" offensive. Change name to Berserkers.
  • 1936 - The great prophet Barry Foster is killed by an unplugged electric model tram whilst convening a Burns supper; he is subsequently devoured by his guests as part of the main course.
  • 2006 - You log on and view Uncyclopedia; millions die.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


UnNews remembers Burt Reynolds
Photo credit: Fox News


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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