Babel:OW
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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public. Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 41,100 stories and plays since opening in January 2005. Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual. Browse:
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Oscar's Chosen Article Kirkification (officially called Metamopho Two Guy Who Got Shot) is an incredibly dangerous viral infection that can target anyone (that can pay the rent to use the internet), but mostly targets popular internet streamers or celebrities. When one catches the virus, their skin turns a sickly pale color, as their haircut begins to look god-awful. Or, in layman's terms, they turn into Charlie Kirk. The first cases of this outbreak were recorded in late September of 2025, or 0 A.K. (After Kirk.) The most commonly recognized catalyst for the outbreak is the death of the right-wing podcaster and professional deadbeat father, Charlie 'Liberal Crusher' Kirk. On September 10th, 2025, young Kirk traveled to Utah Valley University, a place nobody had ever heard of, because it was in Utah. There, many young, vile, tree-hugging liberal wackos questioned the enlightened Kirk about various issues of the day. When one young man asked about how many mass shooters there had been in the US in the past ten years, Kirk replied "Counting or not counting gang violence?" Charlie was then shot through the neck by one Tyler Robinson, who had engraved on his bullets such phrases as 'UwU, notices your bulge.' (Seriously.) Suffice to say, we cannot tell whether he was far-right or far left. Unknown to Robinson, lodged inside Charlie 'Ow My Balls' Kirk's neck, was Pandora's Box, which had been hidden there, and was the direct cause of his stunted facial growth. When Robinson shot Kirk, the latch on the box was open, and all the evils sealed inside the box were released into the world. Such evils included the popularity of Mexican Nazi, Nick Fuentes, the song 'We are Charlie Kirk,' and the Kirkification Virus. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can suggest articles for Oscar to read. Why was I born with such contemporaries? January 29: Conservative Chic Day
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The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.
 "Nyaaah, it's not worthless, mommy, I WANT IT!"
Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate • Bills Mafia drinking themselves to death • New England Patriots fans being insufferable like it's 2016 • r/TheDarnold having a field day Recent deaths: Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Buffalo Bills', San Francisco 49ers', Houston Texans' and Da Bears' seasons • Bo Nix's ankle • Sean McDermott's Bills tenure • Denver Broncos' and Los Angeles Rams' seasons Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:
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Recent witticisms
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This Month's Wit Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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