Worst Movie Ever

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Have you, an American who watches film productions of cinema and serialized dramatics, ever witnessed a collaborations of “talents” so foul that you yearned to journey back in time and destroy the master copy of the aforementioned recording?

I have.

Nicholas Cage and a piece of paper[edit | edit source]

“ I enjoyed it, simply because I watched porn on my PSP for its entire length.”

– Oscar Wilde on National Treasure

There is a movie that has been presented to viewers nationwide that is so horrible, both in talent and production, that it deserves extreme efforts on the part of quantum physicists globe-wide to achieve access to wormholes… if only to remove this movie from the anus of time altogether.

National Treasure.

How can such a wonderful concept be so ill-conceived in a new medium of storytelling? How can treasure hunting go so wrong? This will haunt me to the end of my days in this world.

NOTE: The author of this article haven't seen Power Ranger Turbo: The Movie or the Police Academy saga. He is yet sane.

Little Marines, the worst movie ever?[edit | edit source]

My good friend Chey Butts showed me the worst movie ever at his house and if I could give it a rating I would give it a negative -9^9999 Star Rating. If you are on your death bed, it will kill you for sure. No Doubt about it.

Directed by A.J. Hixon.

Facts[edit | edit source]

  • Genre: Family movie
  • Plot Outline: School lets out for summer and 3 friends decide to go camping.
  • Runtime: 87 min
  • Country: USA
  • Language: English
  • Color: I think?
  • Certification: USA: R for Retarded

Cast overview (Avoid these people like the plague)[edit | edit source]

  • Stephen Baker ... Stevie
  • Noah Williams ... Noah
  • Steve Landers Jr. ... Chris
  • John O. Thomas ... Man Camping
  • Steven Brazil ... Snake
  • Graham Gordy ... Matt
  • Josh Harrison ... David
  • Brittany Hand ... Chris' Sister
  • Sue McDade ... Lady with Dog
  • Denver Hixon ... Drug Dealer
  • James Hipps ... Police Chief
  • Josh Hubbard ... Boy with Airplane
  • Jerry Don Ebbs ... Baseball Card Salesman
  • Kim Peterson ... General's Secretary
  • Lori Massa ... Shiela

Comments[edit | edit source]

2 out of 3 people found the following comment useful: so bad that it was good, 6 June 2004

"This movie is so horrible that I couldn't quit watching it, and then watching it again just to make sure what i saw was real, and then inviting my friends over to show them to make sure that I wasn't the only one seeing this.

Basically these 3 kids go on a camping trip, and they have these ridiculous adventures and some parts where they cry over a friend who had died (but the flashbacks almost make u glad the friend isn't alive anymore so that u don't have to look at him). Its been a while since I saw this because I have no idea where I could even find it anymore if i tried, but I'm definitely a different person for having seen it.

Savage Land, definitely the second worst movie ever[edit | edit source]

Set against the spectacular Rocky Mountains and some gay dude with a bottle bouncing on his knee listening to crappy singing, this is a terrible adventure with the worst acting possible. It is almost as bad as Little Marines. Two women (both really bad actors and one looks like Michael Jackson in one scene), and two kids (which should most definitely should be killed off for the terrible acting about 9 million times worse than the stupid gay butt head mountain man), are stranded in the Gay Old West when bad guys show up (posing as Indians but suck at it because they have blonde hair and white skin with the IQ of a dead retarded peace of cat poo ground through four guys in a bathtub).

Anyway, they try to snag the stagecoach's cargo which very surprisingly they could of gotten away with it, but didn't because the stage coach driver is a big wimp and gets nicked by and arrow and cries about it. Then, the stupid people around him have this great idea to push the arrow (that is about like a centimeter in his back), through his whole back and through his heart but some how he lives. After they did that gay stupid first-aid act, they left him there to die assuming that some one will find him out in the middle of no where. Pitted against nature, time, and the gay white Indians that don't look anything like Indians and both parties full of stupidity. Anywho, this unlikely dumb ace team must trek over the mountains to reach safety. This is a video to buy and keep in your death bed collection to kill you off alongside with the Little Marines.

Directed by Dean Hamilton.

Facts[edit | edit source]

  • Runtime: 98 min
  • Country: USA
  • Language: English
  • Color: Hopefully
  • Sound Mix: A used iPod
  • Certification: USA: R for Retarded
  • Awards: 1 by me for one of the worst movies

This is some other stuff I found about the movie:

  • Writing credits: Dean Hamilton (screenplay), Eric Parkinson (story)
  • Genre: Adventure and gayness and terrible acting
  • Tagline: An epic gay adventure as big as the old west

Cast overview[edit | edit source]

If you ever see any other movies with these actors in it, I am really sorry.

See Also[edit | edit source]

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