Tree hugging hippy
|Tree Hugging Hippy|
|Secondary armament||Body odour|
|Power supply||Oak trees|
|Weight||Up to 200 kg.|
|Length||150-190 cm. (tree excluded)|
~ Morpheus on tree hugging hippies“I am indeed a tree hugging hippy.”
~ Mr. Smith on tree hugging hippies
A tree hugging hippy is a hippy who hugs trees often found in Bezerkley, California. Many people think that there is much more to say about tree hugging hippies than just the fact that they hug trees, but reality is, that there is not really very much more to say about tree hugging hippies than that they hug trees. Of course one could speculate on the kinds of trees that most tree hugging hippies prefer to hug, but no real research has ever been carried out to substantiate any nonsense on that within the United States. However, the Republic of Utah has conducted a series of experiments and discovered several important patterns.
- Though native to the desert island of Crete, the Tree Hugging Hippy will make the 17 mile hajj to south west Virginia to hug trees every third full moon.
- Diet consists mostly of spelt fiber, crunchy grapes, and xylem which the Hippies absorb while in active hugging of trees.
- Clothing, adopted from the original Hippies, included unwashed tie-dye and bell-bottoms. Tree hugging hippies do not, however, use drugs.
- The official religion of tree hugging hippies is a fusion of Shinto and Cubism which they call Vóttage.
- Tree hugging hippies have never been shorter than 4 feet, 3 centimeters tall. It it hypothesized that this is a result of their minimal consumption of green tea.
- hippies smell very bad as they never wash. this is the result of yaers of hard work in which they rub themsevles with mother earth and they relsih it's smell.
Confusion can arise between huggers and huggies, as both are often to be found full of shit. If you see hippies, run away then call a SWAT team.
The Legend of Tree Hugging Hippies
Before everything, there was a great creator Soa. Soa was bored, and he created Earth. Earth was a cold, boring stone, so creator Soa created a giant Tree, called as Divine tree. The Divine tree was alone in a cold desert, until, BANG, life started. A massive fruit falled from the tree. The fruit soonly discovered itself as a creature, the first living thing on planet Earth. Divine tree was the lifesource of Earth, and the tree created more and more of these creatures.
105. creature was hippie-race. These nice little... freaks, told everyone else about how lovely our god really are and prayed the god by hugging on trees. Yes, hugging is praying. Hope so.
106. creature was human-race. These peacefully creatures lived a silent life fighting, making wars and killing each other. Nice race.
Because, completely 7 religious hippie survived from the terrible Nazi-campaign. The 7 hippies promised to revenge to Nazis, and so the legend of hippies begun.
Meanwhile, the creator Soa took wrong pills, (again) and Soa planned to destroy the whole world. He created the 108. creature, The Virage Embryo, which would destroy everything, and bring Soa`s good pills back from the Nazies. The rest is history, but the legend is, really, magical, epic and fourdisced.
Hugs Not Drugs
Even if you're not a furry animal, or tree, you're still entitled to a hug. Hugs are for everyone, and there's an inexhaustable supply. Nearly infinite. Unless you smell, in which case they're dead. Why not check back on Monday, after you've showered? And brushed your teeth.
Hugs are the greatest gift that one person can give another. Except sex, which in actuality is just a special kind of hug that Mommies and Daddies share. Although, sometimes Daddies get inexplicably confused and end up hugging the wrong Mommies in that special way.
No, there's no photo to go along with this portion of the article.
So, provided that your cologne is not Eau de Toilette (French for "Eww! A toilet!"), put down that crack pipe and form an orderly queue in front of the lovely handicapped person of your choice. For your convenience, each has been labeled with an attractive label for easy identification. Expiry dates are usually stamped on the upper-left buttock.