Morpheus
Liam Michael Kean Morpheustein the OTHER One, often known by his beta tester username, Morpheus, not to be confused with Dr. Dre, is a bald and bold black man and the most dangerous Messianic terrorist. He was worshipped by slaves in Roman times, because he will set them free. Morpheus has a very cool name, which means transforming into Zeus. He is most known for signing the Declaration of Independence with 'booya'. Morpheus used to be owned as a slave by The Matrix. After some programs and humans found out that he was not acting like a slave, the Agents found out that he knew there was a way out. It wasn't called the freedom train, but the "Real World". The agents serve as a slave as well but well respected cuz they can do bullet time and shit like that. Morpheus then proved himself a good captain and owned a kickass hover-craft UFO or something. Agents were jealous cuz then Neo joined his side and he could like totally pwn anything whenever he's wired to the matrix.
The Two[edit | edit source]
Morpheus, A.K.A. Lawrence Fishburne, was given the title of 'The Two.' In one of his frequent to the Oracle and her cookies, they had a conversation that went something like this:
oracle: morpheus, you will find the one. morpheus: ill just pretend like i know what you are talking about. oracle: the one will have a huge battle with replicating agent smith viruses and destroy himself in order to save the matrix which will then cause the machines to stop pwning your d00dz back in zion and then the humans and machines will have peace and will coexist. oh yea, and there will be a cheesy ending morpheus: what do i get to do? orcale: you get to watch it on HBO a year after it comes out. morpheus: wtfz0r?! oracle: what do you expect, you are The Two morpheus: omfg noob oracle: lol pwned neo: what vase?
The Birthing of the World Via Morpheus' Head[edit | edit source]
Though many suspect the earth was birthed from the mighty bald void that is Morpheus' head, it was only recently discovered to be true. It was discovered carved into the lost nose of the legendary sphinx which was recently discovered in a landfill in New Jersey.
“And so it came to be! The mighty bald void opened and released the universe in all it's bald majesty! And Morpheus took much Advil to sooth his mighty bald headache for 7 days! and on the 8th and last day of Morpheus' headache he whacked off to some crazy gnome porn, and for a time..... it was good. But like all good things it became bad with time. 'Behold! Gnome Porn creates much sticky and nastiness for me!' Said the majestic bald beyond that is Morpheus. And so Morpheus created tissue paper in his own likeness, though bald-man-tissue-paper quickly went out of style and was replaced with the tissue paper we now cherish. And thus, the world, Earth, as it's inhabitants came to know it was created.”
Further analysis of this wondrous discovery led scientists to theorize that this was not a ancient text but, in fact, a piece of futuristic graffiti which had travel back billions of years through a time rift. However, despite this revelation it is firmly believed that the text is still 100% accurate.
History of Morpheus[edit | edit source]
Morpheus began his career as freedom fighter as a member of punk band Dead Kennedys. In high school he was tested for dyslexia, but he didn't have it, so he could wright songs. Famous songs of him are Take The Pill, Nazi Punks Fuck Off and When You Whisper In My Ear. Due to internal struggles, he quit the band and for the first time, he shaved his head completely bald.
After his musical career, Morpheus decided to go on a trip around to world to find truth. He found it a block away from his house. In a Macwarehouse, he saw people growing addicted to computers. From that moment on, he swore to make sure Apple will no longer make slaves of humans. Morpheus trained and fought with several terrorist groups (the IRA, Al-Qaida etc). In 2000, Apple launched their weapon of mass entertainment: the iPod. Morpheus could not handle the stress and made a decision that changed his life. It was time to wear sunglasses. He is seldom seen without.
After reflecting on recent developments, Morpheus became an all-wise, all-knowing superbeing, very much like Buddha. Unlike Buddha, he did not die, but reincarnated into a virtual world known as Qbert.
Morpheus' Personality[edit | edit source]
A kind-hearted man, he gives charity parties often to help victims of Russian tsunamis. This is not widely accepted though, some see him as a backstabber. It is well known that Morpheus eats chinese food and 9 year old boys when he gets bored. This is because he was molested by a ramne-wielding Shota-Boy...Last year