Cat Litter

“I stuff that shit up my ass because it feels good!”

~ David Hasselhoff on Cat Litter

“It's really my only source of income.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Cat Litter

“I pee in that stuff.”

~ A Tabby Cat on Cat Litter

Cat Litter is a very important treasure in our time period. When dealing with it we must first find George W. Bush. Who will then eat it all up with a small dessert fork and hopefully choke on the repulsive odor. But it will be immensley hard to find him due to the fact he is currently bombing Iraqi citizens, not terrorists who hide in small caves. So what should we be bombing? Small Caves of course! But lets not get not get into that. Cat litter was originally invented by jesus, because his cat, Mr. Dog, wouldn't stop going in jesus's gold toilet.

Contrary to popular belief, the household sink is not a toilet, and therefore not a good place to deposit your droppings.

Famous People who use it

Many famous people are currently using cat litter for their own special purposes.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: uses Cat Litter for making clay. He first makes his cat poop in the box and then he rolls it in cat litter makeing a squishy clay.

David Hasselhoff: Stuffs it up his ass because it quote "feels good"

Robert Pattinson: uses it for lotion after a hard day of failing at failing. "this is cat litter; i thought it was mayo."

Nutrition

Although cat litter is not usually classified as food, Scientists have discovered this product, after use, has better nutritional content than Pot Noodle.

Cat Litter Cake

This treat is a hit among Martha Stewart, Betty Crocker, and Rachael Ray.

Recipe

• 1 spice or German chocolate cake mix
• 1 white cake mix
• 2 large pkg vanilla instant pudding mix, prepared (I like Bird's® dessert mix)
• 1 large pkg vanilla sandwich cookies
• green food coloring
• 12 small Tootsie Rolls®
• 1 new kitty litter pan
• 1 new plastic kitty litter pan liner
• 1 new pooper scooper

!!!!!This recipe below is much better, and looks more real!!!!!!

• 3 boxes of yellow cake mix--you gotta use two boxes to make a large base cake and then use the third box to make two smaller cake dishes which will be ground up with the other topping ingredients
• 1 box of 3 packages of chocolate gram crackers
• 2 containers of vanilla frosting
• 1 small bottle of green sugar--for that minty cat litter effect
• mix all the ingredients together except the large base cake and then put the mixed icing on top of the cake and add tootsie rolls for effect
• if you can't afford the box and the scooper, i find that a pan and a plastic garbage bag give nearly the same effect
• don't believe me? then make it yourself motherfucker!