User talk:Kurgan

Loser talk:Kurgan

Pre-Rendered Welcome!

Hello, Kurgan, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left...Not that far, dammit! ...Yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links, particularly the second one. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• The FAQs - a few common editing questions answered for your convenience
• Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
• Uncyclopedia:Chat - Follow the instructions here to come to the Uncyclopedia IRC channel.

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your username, a link to your userpage, the date, and your social security number. Really, there are only two rules, just make sure you take a brief look at them.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone who cares will come along and help you if they can. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply put {{adoptme}} on your Userpage to join. Again, welcome to the machine! 

The balloon welcomes you!

Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. Now, some personal non-official advice:

• You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon chiché (if you want respect, trust me, try French instead of Internet-Speak). Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny.
• Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it.
• Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff.
• Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:Kurgan/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed.
• Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never.
• And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:42, Feb 9

Your THIRD nick change

Apart from the part you nearly got banned for messing with another user page, caused double redirects as well. Next time, TELL SOMEONE. You are getting way too much warnings as it is, start thinking before you act. Brigadier Sir Mordillo GUN UotY WotM FP UotM AotM MI³ AnotM VFH +S 22:49, 9 February 2008 (UTC)

Ban Patrol

Hya, please check that the users you place on ban patrol were not already banned by the time you place them there. Thanks. ~ 19:06, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

OK I will check, that never happened to me before --Kurgan 19:15, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

Re: QVFD

Thanks for your effort to help us out in our search for crap. However, it is considered in poor taste to add an article with an {{ICU}} on it. That's the little purple box at the bottom. Keep that in mind for next time. Also, you might want to check out User:Villahj_Ideeut/QVFD.js as a way of adding to QVFD more quickly.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 19:30, 15 March 2008 (UTC)

yay! thanks for the delete vote!

--Moonzeppelin MUN 13:44, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

• You are welcome --Kurgan 15:20, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

Edit wars

Believe me when I say that edit wars aren't tolerated here. Neither I nor anyone else on this site cares about who you're voting for, so don't start edit wars about this political nonsense. Consider this your warning. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 23:42, Apr 13

Hey

I moved The Barney Bunch to your userspace, since you wanted to finish working on it, but it got pwned on the VFD. Thought you might like me to save it. -RAHB 06:17, 13 October 2008 (UTC)