User talk:Conniving

Do we need a picture of the Sol-Eurg?

Why do we need a picture of her anyway? the point of text adventures is that they're just text. ALthough i think we should have a lot of stuff from Monty Python and the holy grail though...

Hooray for you!

Well, nice of you to put in my headkicking game template. Do you think you could do some work on that thing?

Oh yeah, i reckon that in the adventures of a grue, we should have something where you have to collect the SEVEN KEYS to the Sol-Eurgs kingdom, like paper mario. What do you think?

Welcome!

Hello, Conniving, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!  02:58, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Excuse me...

I see you have been editing Grueslayer. Would you like to join our implemeors? Also, savefiles are supposed to lead to death. Always. -Han Solo (High Gen. Grue) Comlink Grueslayer

Grueslayer

In Grueslayer, the save files are supposed to be dead ends. That is, you don't live very long. And the proper way to display the links is {{gsl|insert article URL here|insert words here}}. Otherwise the text will appear white. I hope this helps, and you can always try your hand at editing the main game itself! Cheers, --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 21:37, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

Your response on my talk page is excellent! I like the idea! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 23:20, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

I think the offer still does stand. Ask High Gen. Grue if you're not sure. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 23:31, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

cookie

Trar has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

I'm giving out cookies. Hope you appreciate it. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 23:57, 6 May 2007 (UTC)

I should get more of those from more people. I'll work harder until I do then. :D Conniving 00:00, 7 May 2007 (UTC)

IP Grueslayer pages

It's all taken care off. Two improved, one on QVFD. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 05:21, 3 June 2007 (UTC)

GSPvP

You know, the implementors are supposed to make their own PvP pages, right? Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Whad'ya mean, "So there"? Y'know, the "Aether — Ether" thing?

Aye love unnecessarye vowels. Aye woulde actuallaye prefere "Uncyclopedia" to be spelte "Uncyclopaedia". Soe there. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 15:53, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

Like I said, I like the spelling "Aether" Aye laeke unncessaraye voweles. I would have put your stuff back in — but I'm a lazy arse.

Anyways, thanks for your appreciation of my battle. Now I'll just give you a cookie, because I'm feeling generous. (I haven't given out an award in a while.)

Pongo Version 2 has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Just picture eating a cookie in your mind. Maybe one day people will be able to transfer real cookies over the internets. ?|COMRADE_PONGO_V2|RUN_CMD|RUN_GSLYR 17:05, 6 June 2007 (UTC)

PvP

On the second "level" of PvP, we ARE going to change the dead end pages to fights after we finish the first "level", right? --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 17:02, 9 June 2007 (UTC)

Okay you lazy implementor, instead of banning you from Grueslayer, I finnished the TYATU battle here. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:42, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

Alright, what idiocy are you planning with the stray missle? --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:50, 10 June 2007 (UTC)

Award! For you!

Template:Playerfrustator

I've been meaning to give you this for years, but never got around to it.--Naughty Budgie 10:16, 11 June 2007 (UTC)

No, this is also for the help with The adventures of a grue.--Naughty Budgie 09:00, 13 June 2007 (UTC)

Stop it, OK?

Ok, listen. I'm programming my level 1 fight, and what happens is that they get to the 32nd floor and they find me hosting The Budgie Report. That's the whole reason of the tower. If you keep doing that, it makes the whole thing redundant.--Naughty Budgie 09:26, 4 July 2007 (UTC)

I'll start with the main story things you have to choose, then elaborate. In the first chapter, i appear to side with the player and offer to buy them a beer until the accidentally trap me in the spiral galaxy and i swear revenge, and they say something like "Why does everything i trap in a living hell swear revenge on my head?--Naughty Budgie 09:32, 6 July 2007 (UTC)

No, i'll just say it's that high so that i can fit in all those unbeleivably video games i downloaded.--Naughty Budgie 00:58, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, i know. There'll be one floor before the set of the Budgie Report.--Naughty Budgie 02:00, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

IotM

Voting ends on August 1st because it's Implementor of the Month July 2007. —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 09:37, 7 July 2007 (UTC)

Hm.

High Gen. Grue, has given you a gun. Please fire randomly at will.

just don't shoot the fucking civillians. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 00:29, 8 July 2007 (UTC)

Taking a look?

You mean making a bathroom for PvP level 2? —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 10:24, 15 July 2007 (UTC)

Isee what you mean. Yes, the bathroom is quite good. —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 07:17, 17 July 2007 (UTC)

About that Grueslayer GIF....

I was thinking I could create the images, I send them to you via e-mail(you might have to tell me your e-mail address), you combine them into a GIF, then you upload it and we'll use it for when the volcano in hard mode erupts. And the accompanying Stuntman: Ignition novelty video will probably be in production by then. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 20:56, 19 July 2007 (UTC)

Done! All the images have been made and cropped accordingly. All that needs to be done now is for you to tell me your e-mail address and i'll send them to you, ordered, with enclosed instructions. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 22:36, 19 July 2007 (UTC)

Okay, i've mailed them to you, your sister is free to work on them. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 15:52, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

By the way....

If you have an Xbox 360, then do you have an Xbox Live gamertag? What is it? I have an Xbox 360, but it caught the Red Ring Of Death, so it'll have to be fixed. You can find my gamertag on my userpage. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 16:36, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

Oh. That's sad, because Xbox Live is really fun once you get used to it. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 21:02, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

And did you get the e-mail? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 21:03, 20 July 2007 (UTC)

I know why you didn't get the e-mail - the AOL MAILER-DAEMON e-mailed me this message:

Sorry irobitailleinmaine@yahoo.com. Your mail to the following recipients could not be delivered because they are not accepting mail with attachments or embedded images: bigbronige100

You need to change your e-mail settings so that you accept e-mails with attachments or embedded images! --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 19:59, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

I got the same message from the MAILER-DAEMON. Apparently i'll have to upload them somewhere and link them to you and your GIF-making sister. I'm thinking Imageshack. I'll do it later today. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 14:43, 23 July 2007 (UTC)

They are here.

In all their glory. Revel in my awesomeness! THEY ARE HERE! AHAHAHAHAHHAA!

(save them to your computer, in order for your sister to make the GIF, and make sure she reads this)

Make the first image rumble around, a bit at first, then gradually building up into the eruption. Make it so that it's just less than a second between frames, gradually slowing down until it finishes(keeping it under one-maybe two-seconds, three seconds before starting all over again, and one second of the first image before rumbling). Try to capture the actual time-frame of a real eruption(you may have to look it up). It might be harsh, but that's life.

And, yes, this is the order I want them in. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 13:59, 24 July 2007 (UTC)

Is your sister working on it? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 19:29, 26 July 2007 (UTC)

Emmzee is back.

I'm sorry to say you've been stripped of Creator status, and are now an Implementor again. Emmzee is replacing you. Sorry. --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 00:00, 5 August 2007 (UTC)

A psychic is you!

Your A Big Psychic Now!

Thank you for voting HowTo:Bend a spoon to the front page of the Uncyclopedia. With your help, we can work together and give the psychic community the acknowledgment it deserves! We accept donations! Happy Bending! We apologize for the delay in sending this thank-you message. It was transcribed and sent telepathically, and our expert telepathist has had a headache for the last week and was unable to send it properly. Did we mention we accept donations?

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:36 Aug 17, 2007 22:21, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

Multiplayer Chess

It's like capture the flag. You basically copy-and-paste the board template onto a square below. Lay out the pieces however you like, and do what the fyvdf you want. Gallery of pieces is here. To lay out the pieces, type into the corresponding box on the template the two-letter code for the piece you would like. For example, km is Karl Marx, tm is Tom Mayfair, gr is grue, rb is black rook, nw is white knight, kb is black king.

So...

<div style="float: center;text-align:center;padding:5px;background-color:#F5F5F5;border: 1px solid #DDD">{{chessboard|img=gif|size=45<!--
 -->|rb|nb|bb|km|tm|bb|nb|rb<!--
 -->|g2|pb|pb|pb|pb|pb|pb|g2<!--
 -->|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  <!--
 -->|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  <!--
 -->|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  <!--
 -->|  |  |  |  |  |  |  |  <!--
 -->|gk|pw|pw|pw|pw|pw|pw|gk<!--
 -->|rw|nw|hb|sv|bn|hb|nw|rw<!--
 -->}}Game #X /White: <player1>/ Black:<player2></div>

creates...

	a	b	c	d	e	f	g	h
8									8
7									7
6									6
5									5
4									4
3									3
2									2
1									1
	a	b	c	d	e	f	g	h

Game #X /White: <player1>/ Black:<player2>

Sorry for the long wait, but I've been inactive recently. And yes, I can create new pieces. Just tell me what you'd like on my talk page. Please note I'm not much of an artist. —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 08:41, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

Oh, yeah, and sv is Shiva the Destroyer. —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 08:42, 31 August 2007 (UTC)

Where's the GIF?

Srsly, i've been waiting months. Hurry up!(please) --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 19:36, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

My picture thingy

File:Black.png

There. Very simple.

No, seriously, I want to keep my aspect somewhat ambiguous. Maybe I'll implement something like "This person's appearence seems to continuously shift. Try as much as you like, you simply cannot make out any definite appearence." —Comrade Pongo (V2) GS Implementor (Talk | Contribs | Award) 16:46, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

Bureaucrat Interview

The questions will go here. I'll add them as I think them up. They will be hard too. But not too hard. If you do not want to answer for any reason at all, you can simply leave it blank. I can afford to leave things out if need be, this is going on an article after all. Funny answers are encouraged, but serious answers are expected most of all. Conniving 22:25, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

1. First off, how did you find Uncyclopedia in the first place?

Like most, I arrived at Uncyc via a Google search for "yuky doody." Actually I saw it linked on the Straight Dope Message Board, which I frequented in years past. Not so much now. Back in those days (March 2005) you could check every single edit yourself and the main page wasn't protected, as you can see by suggestions like "Try writing about: Kanye Bush." —rc (t) 22:37, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Someone linked me to an article. I don't even remember who it was, but it was a link in an IM, and I can assure you of that. Regardless, I came, I acted like an idiot, then soon after I was trained by a legend in his own time (Splarka) and became a sysop. After meeting the almighty master of Uncyclopedia at the Uncyclomania conference at Harvard, who was wearing a grue t-shirt and offered Bureaucratship to me. I have been semi-active ever since, in proper bureaucrat form. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

In the beginning, there was the internet. And it was good. And later, there were more things, like porn. Though, not much later. Porn is very virile, you see. Anyway, I got distracted. What was the question? Oh right. How did I find Uncyclopedia. Yeah. About that. I didn't so much "find" Uncyclopedia as much as I had it thrust upon me. You see, one of my friends dropped me a line and told me to look at this awesome idea for a website. So, I did. This was back when the main page had 3 columns, was entirely edited by hand, and *before* Sauron was lord of the dance. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

2. In your mind, what is the true duty of the bureaucrat?

Bureaus really don't carry that much more responsibility than regular admins. The only power we wield is the ability to create new ops and bureaus, and since admins are usually decided by community consensus, we're really just tools of the people. But really, really attractive tools. And scientific, objective analysis has proven that we're even cooler and sexier than normal admins, if you can believe that.

Also, when I first saw this question I read it as "... the true deity," and I was going to respond, obviously, with Sophia. Benson, Fluffy, Tortilla and the rest are pathetic imitations of godhood. —rc (t) 22:37, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

We're the lowliest of admins, yet the least-noticed. Like digestive tract bacteria, we keep everything in proper working order. On top of normal admin duties, we produce admins, who shovel the poop while we vacation in Tahiti. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

Break stuff. I'm good at that. Throwing rocks at things that deserve it. Truly, the job of a bureaucrat is the same as that of a sysop, clean the cruft, ban the users, settle disputes, etc. Also, we get cool t-shirts. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

3. What drove the bureaucrats to promote User:BENSON for admin here?

Tricky, tricky... note that there is a difference between User:BENSON and User:Benson. The former is an imposter, the latter is the real Benson (despite his affinity for ALL CAPS, Benson's username is capitalized properly). Although I'm not privy to this particular information, I am guessing that User:BENSON is a sock of PantsMacKenzie or some other admin. —rc (t) 23:28, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Because we like messing with our loyal subjects. As RC said, he's an admin sock. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

Whoa, whoa, whoa. what? --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

4. Bureaucrats must have some significant influence to the rest of Wikia. Is this true?

Not that I'm aware of, since Uncyc bureaucrats only function on Uncyc itself. Except for Sannse, because she's both an Uncyc contributor and a Wikia Staff member, meaning she technically has bureau power on Uncyc, but since it wasn't bestowed on her by the community, to my knowledge she doesn't use it except maybe in her official capacity as Staff. Oh, and around half of our bureaus are also longtime contributors to the Muppets Wikia. —rc (t) 23:28, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Most are only bureaus here. I was staff for a bit and for some reason I'm an admin on a number of Wikia wikis. Something about my personality, sexiness, or possibly my ability to write arcane extensions for MediaWiki in the arcane language of PHP, but I only accept the first two and will strike you dead with a lightning bolt if you ever claim otherwise. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

The only kind of influence I might have over the rest of Wikia is derived from my extra strong foot odor. They'll do anything to keep that away. Seriously, though, our virulent reach only extends to the festering pile that is Uncyclopedia. Yes. someday. Someday... --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

5. What would you say to Keitei being the sexiest of the bureaucrats, as inferred from this old forum post?

All I can say is that if Uncyc was female-dominated, we men bureaus would be fighting off the ladies at every step...

... No, I can't say that with a straight face. I've seen some of the bureaus and we are a funny-looking bunch. But we ARE really nice, helpful and cool. —rc (t) 23:28, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

That she is not.

Pants is pretty freaking sexy, and so is Chronarion. Rcmurphy is, too, as far as I know. Regardless, she's not. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

Keitei is pretty awesome. But, in a contest of sheer sexiness, I think that User:Flammable wins. Not that there's anything wrong with Keitei, but... I mean, Flammable. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

6. Bureaucrats have the power to hire sysops, correct? If you were to hire one, what qualities would they have to have?

Well, nobody gets paid in UncycLand, but if by "hire" you mean "appoint," then yes. If I was to stage an interview for sysops I would break out the toughest questions I could think of, like "Why are pineapples called pineapples?" and "Why do people say 'moral support' when 'morale support' makes so much more sense?" Also they would have to have an inborn abhorrence towards Kanye West and Steve Ballmer. —rc (t) 23:56, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

Sadly, they vote on them. I couldn't ask questions, I would merely appoint them by sweeping edict, because that's how the best people were/are made sysops and bureaucrats. They need to be funny, but more importantly, they need to be reliable and upstanding. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

Umm. RC's answers are pretty good for this one. It's pretty much how I decide if I like someone for sysop. Do I feel that they have a broad sense of humour. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

7. Is there any way that bureaucrats and sysops personally gather? Like an office or convention?

Aside from occasional restroom liaisons, there's not a lot of real-world interaction. Some Uncyc admins/bureaus met at Wikimania in Boston last year, and I've heard tell of Uncyclopedians meeting for drinks and the like, but since we're scattered all over the world it's tough to actually organize anything. I personally haven't met any other Uncyclopedians in the flesh. The closest we come is the virtual world of IRC. —rc (t) 23:56, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

As RC said, some of us met at Uncyclomania. I'd go hang out with RC if he would ever tell me where he is when he's in Southern California, but that bleggard has never admitted to his location or wanted to. I feel so unloved. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

There's no "official" way, but a bunch of us met at Wikimania 2006 in Boston. I'm always looking to meet fun people from the internets. If anyone is near me, give me a shout. I'll totally ignore you. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

8. What makes you love/want to stick to Uncyclopedia most of all?

Two words: "coke" and "hookers." Also "stock options." —rc (t) 23:56, 6 October 2007 (UTC)

I'm lazy and it runs itself at this point. It's funny and I'm glad to have some part of it. Sadly, it has grown to such immense proportions that I can't keep up with it, a job, and all the other silly obligations I have in life. I wanted to stay an Uncyc-R-Us kid forever, too. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

'cause I've been here from the beginning. I want to see how the story goes. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

9. Finally, what if you were to leave Uncyclopedia forever the next day, and could not have any control over that? How would you react/spend your time?

I'd start an anti-Uncyc website in retaliation. It would be called "Wiki Encyclopedia" and it would have true facts instead of nonsense and would be much more popular. And I'd spend my spare time learning to cook because the only things I can make now are mochas and quesadillas (but they are fantastic quesadillas - one of the secrets is red pepper flakes). —rc (t) 05:07, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

I would be saddened and probably spend it as I do. However, I might start uncyclopedia-watch.org and post nasty things about certain undesirable admins, but I might also be too lazy to do that. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

Uhh. Go on with my life? I *do* have a life, you know. She lives in canada. No, really! She does! Wait, where are you going? --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

10. Would you nominate/promote me for sysop? (( I'm purposely looking for a "Hell no" or something similar on this one. It's only a joke. ;) ))

Sorry, there's a fifteen-stage process for being opped. The first step is stealing a relic from the Vatican and the difficulty ramps up from there. —rc (t) 05:07, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

Only if you can find me a perfect female counterpart that would actually want me. It'll take you until long past your expiration date to do that, but I promise that my then-virtual intelligence will nominate you posthumously. » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 2007.10.11.02:38

I would have to think long and hard, and then I would have to sleep on it, and then have a nice cup of hot tea, and then poke at a turtle with a stick, followed by looking out the window for hours and hours, and then falling asleep again, and then getting good and drunk, before saying no. --PantsMacKenzie 03:00, 15 November 2007 (UTC)

Kudos...

...on the rewrite. It's like recycling, but with words. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:37, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

Yes, I agree with Modus; Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats is a real article now. You asked if I might change my original VFD vote; I would but the voting is closed and the article survived handily. Nice work -- it's a good article now. ----OEJ 00:12, 8 October 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, I wish more people bothered to rewrite needy articles. Good man. —rc (t) 03:32, 11 October 2007 (UTC)

So i herd u has qwestion?

Ask! DO IT NAO Ж Cake-eating Cave Monkey _{or was it a giant monster or a robot?} 02:26, 9 October 2007 (UTC)

Re: About your poem...

What poem? o_o --EMC ^[TALK] 02:15, 4 November 2007 (UTC)

Merry Christmas soon!

Uncyclopedian wishes you have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year's!

Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

To protect you in further Holiday mall shopping...

On the first day of Christmas, the General gave to me... A Sniper in a pear tree. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines

Hey

Seen the new Urban Dead city yet? Check it out! My character's called "Guy made o' nametags". --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 21:12, 27 February 2008 (UTC)

Why hello there good sir may I please have your pokemon friend code?

I'll give you mine if you give me yours.--Naughty Budgie 03:35, 31 March 2008 (UTC)(Forgot to sign)

Ah, thanks. No point in giving me you're brawl code, that's not even out in Australia yet. This is mine: 0387 8766 1182. --Naughty Budgie 03:49, 3 April 2008 (UTC)

Whatever. By the way, I checked on the IRC and you weren't there. Is it because you weren't online or because you have a different name on there? I'm Naughty Budgie on everything, except when it doesn't fit. In the case I become N Budgie. --Naughty Budgie 00:36, 4 April 2008 (UTC)

Stop reverting my changes to the Portal or I will eat your soul.

Seriously, it's to seperate IMPORTANT NEXUSWAR CRAP FROM KOL AND POKESHIT. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 02:17, 13 June 2008 (UTC)

You can read, right? No? Aww, poor baby. Conniving 18:34, 15 June 2008 (UTC)

SNEAKY

Yeah, I'm sure you've noticed I (Ethine) haven't been on IRC in forever. My computer DIED, leaving me use only of my mother's computer. Paranoia tells her not to let me use it over here, either. So. I'm sorta stuck. Would you mind telling Kalir/HanSolo/Asema I won't show up? I'm gonna try leaving something for them, too, in case you're a lazy bum...in case you don't actually check this thingy.

Four thousand words, eh? I think I'll trust you on that. Impressive. Love,  

Mibbit is a no-no, too. She apparently believes you people are remotely accessing the computer and destroying the hardware? Or something along those lines. We're taking the computer to the "professionals." They shall laugh. Whatever. Love,  

Grueslayer

Well, are you going to help me revive it? --Trar (talk|contribs|grueslayer) 09:43, 25 April 2009 (UTC)