User:Simsilikesims/HowTo:Whore your article on VFD

Nominuted Article

This article has been nominuted for highluting on the fruit page of alternate universe Uncyclopedia: Un-Uncyclopedia -- Don't worry about it: you can't vote for it or nominate your favorite articles at Un-Uncyclopedia:VHF. Please see this article's entry.

Let's face it. Whoring articles on Uncyclopedia is getting harder and harder. The days of posting "Hey, look at what I wrote" on the forums are long gone. Pee Review requests can idle for weeks. MrN9000's whorehouse is on the verge of bankruptcy, threatening to send inadequately clothed women spilling onto street corners everywhere.

But there's one forum that has been inadequately utilized for whoring articles: VFD. This article, therefore, will serve as a handy how-to guide to whoring articles on VFD. Although, actually, that was probably obvious from the title.

Step 1. Cut a hole in a box.

Sorry. I had that stuck in my head.

Step 1. Create a sockpuppet.

Creating a sockpuppet is easier than it sounds. First, obtain a pair of medium-sized tube socks. Glue googly eyes to them. Using a Sharpie, draw cute little eyelashes above the googly eyes.

Your sockpuppets are now complete. Place them on your hands. Then, register a new account on Uncyclopedia.

Step 2. Be a dick.

It's important that your sockpuppet establish itself as kind of a dick. Otherwise, Uncyclopedians will begin to take it seriously, and your VFD nomination could actually end up succeeding. Obviously, the goal of whoring your article is not to have it deleted.

Of course, it's important not to be too much of a dick. Uncyclopedia is a dark, dark place, and if you enter without even a hint of the light of civility, you are likely to be eaten by a Jrew. Also, there's a danger that your normal account will be blocked for sockpuppetry and general faggotry. So, in conclusion: be dickish in moderation.

A word of caution: don't be a dick to Cajek. This will actually cause people to like you more.

Step 3. VFD!

Now that you've developed a reputation as a general lout, it's time to whore. Pick your favorite article that has not received its due attention. Go to VFD as your sockpuppet and demand its swift removal from the website. You may, however, wish to put your demand in the "keep" box so as not to threaten the article's continued existence.

HowTo:Throw a Fireball

Keep	this articul is crap. i demand that it be removed from wikipedia IMMEDIATELY!!! im only voting for keep because the authur is very handsome Dragon Worrier 03:04, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
Delete	delete. pointless fireballcruft. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 03:21, 28 July 2008 (UTC) Kerkill. For some reason, I keep saying "Kerkill." Perhaps I have the hiccups, or some kind of other disease. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 04:35, 28 July 2008 (UTC) Meh -RAHB 04:42, 28 July 2008 (UTC) Delete - this user was suspiciously nice to me.   Le Cejak • <-> 05:12, 28 July 2008 Delete.--Sycamore (Talk) 05:27, 28 July 2008 (UTC) Delete Pants. MrN 05:31, Jul 28
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