User:Frinko/Snakes on a Plane

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What the fuck is your problem? Why aren't you going to go see this movie? Why aren't you watching it right now instead of reading this?

Also known as "Motherfucking Snakes on This Motherfucking Plane"

“ The plane of the righteous man is beset on all sides of the cabin by the iniquities of the slithering and the tyranny of snakes. Blesssssed is he, who in the name of anti-venom and First Class Flights, shepherds Kenan Thompson through the valley of snakes, for he is truly the passenger's keeper and the killer of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great venom and broken bottles attatched to sticks, those who would attempt to poison and bite my brothers. And you will know my name is Samuel L. Jackon when I lay my big black anaconda upon thee.”

~ Samuel L. Jackson on Biblical Snakes
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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Frinko/Snakes on a Plane.

Snakes on a Plane[edit | edit source]

A screenshot from one of the film's scenes, where some guy gets bitten by--what is that, a python? Anaconda? No, looks more like a python to me...
Snakes on a Plane by Dr. Seuss.

Snakes On A Plane is an amazing true story satire about Samuel L. Jackson's desperate battle with the entire population of snakes in the world all crammed into a plane. Based on a relatively obscure Dr. Seuss book, it was released by New Line Cinema on August 18, 2006 in North America to highly polarised opinions. The film is notable for building up a considerable internet fanbase, who were lead to believe it was a high-concept action thriller, literally depicting snakes... on a plane.

  • Snakes on a Plane (book) is a 1885 book by British mathematician Abbott Abbott Abbott. In "Snakes on a Plane", Abbott creates a speculative 2 dimensional universe ("the Plane") inhabited by one dimensional creatures ("Snakes").
  • Snakes on a Plane (1925 film) is a silent animated cartoon by Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks. Jake Snake, Suzie Snake, and his nephews Slither, Zither, and Dither, try to fly an aeroplane across the Atlantic to win the Orteig Prize. Hilarity ensues when the propeller falls off and Slither is tied into a bow as a replacement.
  • Snakes on a Plane (1943 film) is a Disney Studios remake as World War II propaganda. Cap'n Jake Snake leads his patriotic nephews flying a B-25 leading a mission to firebomb Tokyo, a city of annoying but amusing yellow monkeys with buck teeth and thick glasses. The short was also released as 30 Snakes Over Tokyo.
  • Snakes on a Plane (2006 film) is the bestest motherfucking film ever goddamn made. The...greatest. No...fucking...shit. Makes Jean-Luc Godard's Le Mépris (Contempt) seem like sub-par gay porn, soaking in half a ton of wet dog shit.

The film, which takes place on a plane filled with snakes, is an autobiographical film starring Samuel L. Jackson. This Civil War epic features Jackson as an escaped slave who joins the Union Army, and despite the prejudices of the times, rises to the rank of captain while trying to find his childhood sleigh, Rosebud. The film concludes with Jackson flying his platoon during Sherman's March to the plantation he onced slaved upon. En route, they discover that there are snakes upon their plane which must be dispatched if they are to accomplish their mission.

Ultimately, Jackson spares his abusive master's (Tobey Maguire) life and property in a touching and emotional scene which ends abruptly when they discover snakes in the big house.

In February 2006, Snakes on a Plane was nominated for an unprecedented 10 Academy Awards before the film was even released. Nominations were for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay, Sound Design, Costume Design, Best Quote, Best Original Song (for "Dawning of a New Morning (Love Theme from Snakes on a Plane)"), Best Title, Best Plot,and Best Performance By Reptiles or Amphibians on a Form of Aerial Transportation or by Samuel L. Jackson in a Civil War Epic, best Snakes on a motherfuckin' plane!, and finally best snake in a comic role.


The film was harshly critized when it was released due to it's airy and unapologetic use of Snaxploitation, most notable in the scene in which Samuel L. Jackson yells racial slurs at a dead snake for roughly six minutes non-stop, calling it stereotypes like: "Cold blooded," and "cold blooded mutherfucker!" and "goddam cold blooded mutherfucker!" Samuel L. Jackson had this too say in an press release: "[expletive deleted]!"

The film also received considerable criticism from the Catholic Church, who called the film "A liberal, unholy, and utterly Satanic depiction of what could go wrong should snakes get on a plain." Pope John Paul George and Ringo openly supported the film's destruction, stating how it "represents everything evil in the world, like evolution, stem cells, gays, Jews, Islams, Muslims, Islamic, Muslimic, and freedom of speech. And to Sam Jackson, I'd just like to say "{deleted audio-5 min.}!!!" He then extended his middle finger, yelled something about Jesus, performed a backflip, and retreated into his Popecave to play Grand Theft Auto.

Humble Beginnings[edit | edit source]

An early storyboard from the film's conceptual team.

This is an early shot-for-shot storyboard from the film's conceptual team before it was scrapped and rewritten. Note the lack of Samuel L. Jackson, naked gnomes, sleds, or slave owners.


Criticism[edit | edit source]

The production of Snakes On A Plane has come under heavy critism from animal campaigners, most notably from the Society for Nurturing And Kindly Embracing Snakes (S.N.A.K.E.S. for short). It has publicly attacked the film for its "blatantly discriminitory portrayal of snakes on a plane" and for "extremely anti-snake remarks" spoken by Samuel L. Jackson.

The foundation objects to the portrayal of snakes as violent and disruptive while on a plane, and points out that humans can be equally as violent while on board any moving object. They rank Snakes On A Plane as number one on their list of 'Worst portrayals of Snakes on board a moving object' right ahead of Snakes On An Elevator , Snakes On A Spaceshuttle and Snake Eater. The foundation currently marks Lazy Town as the most pro-snake show on television.

After the recent terror plots agenst trans-atlantic flights it is belived terrorist are in fact planning a "snakes on a plane" attack, The Producers are curantly being trialed for instigating hate and helping terrorist. Well its either that or mouther fucking snakes on a plane.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

One of the main antagonists of the movie: Solid Snake.
In the event of Snakes on a Plane, grab your ankles, and kiss your ass goodbye.
  • Larry King had a cameo as "Annoying Guy In Suspenders That Talks WAY Too Much" but test audiences threatened to release snakes into the limosuines of the producers, so his part was cut for the final release. The DVD is expected to contain King as part of its list of deleted scenes.
  • The title, "Snakes on a Plane," clearly makes reference to Ezekiel 25:17 in the Bible, which describes that "In the last days, the Earth will be overrun with snakes on planes."
  • Samuel L. Jackson recently announced that he would be starring in the prequel to Snakes on a Plane, in which he will play Saint Patrick L. Jackson, and drive all of the muthafucking snakes out of muthafucking Ireland. This autobiographical film has already made six billion dollars and cured AIDS.
  • Chris Tucker was killed by Samuel L. Jackson at the premier of Snakes on a Plane. Jackson's agent claimed that the actor was under the impression that Tucker was a muthafucking snake, but during an interview with Barbara Walters Jackson revealed that Tucker just pissed him off. I mean, what the fuck was that with The Fifth Element? He was asking for it.
  • Breckin Meyer was going to be cast as bloody bite victim 7 but was banned from the set after Garfield 2 was released.
  • Jimbo Wales was a muthafucking production assistant on the film.
  • "Snakes on a Plane" is a retelling of Othello.
  • Although pre-whacked snakes were considered before the muthafucking film began production, the muthafucking idea was scrapped in favor of actual muthafucking snakes.
  • Although considered by many to have a muthafucking groundbreaking plotline, "Snakes on a muthafucking Plane" is actually a new twist on the film "Indiana Jones: The Last muthafucking Crusade," whose original title was "Snakes on a muthafucking Train."
  • The American muthafucking Humane Society refused to muthafucking certify the muthafucking film after it was discovered that actor Samuel L. muthafucking Jackson had, in fact, bitten the muthafucking heads off of five muthafucking bats during production of the film.
  • Due to the muthafucking film's unprecedented popularity, three muthafucking sequels were quickly rushed: Snakes on a muthafucking Plane II: Electric muthafucking Boogaloo, Sharks on a Plane, and Lions and Tigers and Bears on a Plane: Oh my!. It was also followed up by a muthafuckingremake, Reptiles on an muthafucking Aircraft - which went on to win three muthafucking Academy Awards. Reptiles is also one of only three films where a posthumous Marlon Brando has had his testicles bitten off.
  • An independant group led by Samuel L. Jackson himself has plans for a trilogy. They intend to release "More Mutherucking Snakes on More Motherfucking Planes" in time to be the only film and sequel to win the same award in the same year; the VH1 Best Film of the Year award for 2007. 2008 will see the third in the trilogy, "All dem mutha-fuckin' snakes on all dem mutha-fucking planes!", winning "Best Film Ever".
  • Production was halted for two days just because Samuel Jackson said so.
  • Actor Will Ferrell makes a cameo appearance as one of the snakes in the cargo bay. The CGI to accomplish this cost a reported 43 million dollars.
  • A fourth sequel and a Christmas Special have just been announced; said star Samuel L. Jackson: "With this fourth sequel, we're really going back to our roots in terms of a title. I can't reveal what it is yet, but I tell you, it's great." Two minutes later, he had a Kirsten Dunst moment and revealed everything about the movie, including the big twist at the end. "It will be called Snakes on a Plane IV: Planes on a Snake. The Big King Pappa Snake from the first film returns, and I--" The rest is being withheld at the actor's request. In the Christmas Special, our Snakie friends take the wrong plane and end up in the North Pole, where they crash and destroy Santa`s Sleigh. Eventually, and as Christmas is getting close, they forget their differences and build a new vehicle for Santa so he can deliver his gifts. Finally, that vehicle ends up being the most awesome plot twist since double-personality, a Plane. Finally, they all learn the meaning of friendship....and Christmas. With cameo appearences by Bea Arthur, Sean Bean, The Wachowski Brothers, Tom Cruise and that chick he`s with now, Ice Cube, The Strokes, Cedrid The Enterteiner, and Jenna Jameson.
  • Immediately following their huge success, Snakes on a Plane formed their own clothing line, called "Snakes on a Shirt", now selling in over 7.5 countries around the world.
  • A small group of rebels led by Samuel L. Jackson called the "Cobra Starship" has recently begun a campaign to rid the world of all Anti-Snakes on a Plane propaganda. Their mission statement is, as quoted by Jackson himself: "We've got mother***ing snakes! On a plane! If you don't like that, we kill you! We kill you dead!!" This statement has proven effective at removing all thoughts of anti-SoaPdom from the public mind.
  • Ronny Yu was originally slated to direct, but left the project over 'creative differences'. Those differences are rumoured to boil down to him wanting to get away from the snake on plane concept, feeling the concept was too much of a gimmick for anyone to care about his poetic statement on humanity. Those lingering outside the production offices have reported voices shouting back and forth crying 'It's a movie about SNAKES on a PLANE! What else do you want?!'
  • As part of Samuel L. Jackson's contract, he was given three of the rattlesnakes used on the set to bring home to his young children.
  • No snakes were harmed in the production of Snakes on a Plane. However, one actor's career was.
The original idea for a "Planes on a Snake" movie was rejected as too "plain."
  • Monty python was turned down as one of the lead pythons

Planes In A Snake[edit | edit source]

Planes in a Snake is the spinoff film made by satan during the JesusTron Wars. In this film, A man smuggles a small snake in his luggage. The snake gets free and procedes to slowly engulf the plane. The whole film revolves around the lights going out, people screaming and the 7 differant actors passing out due to lack of oxygen. However, as this was written during the JesusTron Wars It had to have propaganda inside it. Therefore, the last 15 minutes of the film invovles atheists being slowly burnt to death by an evil teddybear. After the film was completed and released, Satan was found guilty of embezzelement and arrested for 24 life sentences. Planes on a Snake make the snake go SPLAT!

Cast[edit | edit source]

The original propmotional movie poster was scrapped. Notice the lack of snakes and motherfuckers.


Remakes[edit | edit source]

Samuel L. Jackson has made rights to make remakes of this snake movie. A remake is planned to be released within 2006, which will be titled "Snakes on a Plane (2006)". Due to popular demand, Samuel L. Jackson has already been cast to play one of the leading snakes.

Title for the 2007 remake will surprisingly be called "Snakes on a Plane (2007)". Although, the title may be shorted to "Snakes on a Plane 2007" in case there's actually no film titled just "Snakes on a Plane" released in 2007. People may be confused by the longer title and potentially cause the movie to flop.

Annual remakes has also been planned till year 2100 with Samuel L. Jackson starring in all of them. Due to the possibility that he may accidentally die before year 2100, it is hoped that in the near future cloning technology will be advanced enough that his clones will be able to fulfill his contract.


Planned Sequels[edit | edit source]

With the success of "Snakes on a Plane", Hollywood realized they'd finally found the "golden formula" for creating highly profitable films which audiences love. All major studios have therefore abandoned plans to make any future films which are not variations on the "Snakes on a Plane" theme.

Broadway musical spinoff: Snakes on a Dame
One of many sequels, Piranhas on an Escalator.
"Captain's Log: I have had it with these motherfucking tribbles on this motherfucking starship!"

Films currently being filmed or under development include:

  • Biodome
  • Snakes on the Ireland: The Ulster Saga (The hit prequel starring Samuel L. Jackson as Saint Patrick L. Jackson!)
  • Ladders on a Plane
  • Snakes on a Plane II: Electric Boogaloo
  • Badgers on a Bus
  • Beavers in a Train Tunnel
  • Snakes in a Drain
  • Snakes in Ukraine
  • Snakes on Cocaine
  • Snakes on a Plaintiff: The Results of the Eddie Kim Trial - "Yes they deserved to die and I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!"
  • Goats on a Boat
  • Spiders on a Glider
  • Chimps on a Blimp
  • Raccoons on a Balloon
  • Kangaroos in a Boxing Ring
  • Bees in an Elevator
  • Snakes on a Diet
  • Fish on a Bicycle
  • Crabs in a Crepe
  • Priests on an Alterboy
  • Green Eggs and Ham on a Tram
  • Ducks on a Truck
  • Pulp Fiction 2: This Time...It's mutherfuckin' PERSONAL!!!
  • Anemones in a Hamster Ball
  • Macaws on a Rickshaw
  • Macacas in Virginia (Decision: 2006 Edition)
  • Pigs in a Blanket
  • Isis on a Middle-age Crisis
  • Billy Goats Gruff on a Bridge
  • Seals on Wheels
  • Giraffes on a Raft
  • Parrots on a Chariot
  • Snakes on Plain White Bread With Choice of Potato Dish
  • Snakes on a Plane III: This time, it's personal
  • Snakes on Serenity: Snakes in Space (spin-off film featuring Fillion)
  • Scorpions in a Maternity Ward
  • Crap on a Crutch (A retelling of "Twelfth Night", which will serve to give some background on the first movie. A planned side-sequel to this is Shit on a stick)
  • Snizzakes on a Plizzane (The Ebonics translation)
  • Jumping Jesus on a Pogostick
  • All Anal Gay Snakeromp (Documentary)
  • Snakes On A Plane III: the Resnakening
  • Bengal White Tigers in a Remodelled 1979 Pacer
  • Solid Snake vs. Snakes vs. Soft Snake vs. Samuel L. Jackson vs. Planes
  • Shrews in a Canoe
  • Giant Enemy Crabs on Your Genitals
  • Mr.T in "Ain't Getting On No Snake Infested Plane"
  • Bats in a Belfry
  • Bees in a Bonnet
  • Bananas in Pyjamas
  • Deep Blue Sea 2 The Second Chumming
  • The Snatrix
  • Bridge on the River Snake
  • Snake Wars: A New Mutherfuckin' Hope
  • Snake Wars: The Empire Strikes Back...with Snakes!!!
  • Snake Wars: The Return of Jules Winnfield
  • Titanic....with SNAKES!!!
  • Snakes, Planes, and Automobiles
  • Mel Gibson in a Police Car
  • Jesus on a Crucifix
  • Goose on the Loose
  • Mouse in a House
  • Snakes in NAMBLA
  • Snakes on a Plane: A Study in Dimensions
  • Sheep on a Jeep
  • Snake! The Musical
  • Snaking in the rain
  • Snakes on the brain
  • Spiders on a Clown
  • Public Speaking in Front of Sharks
  • Snakes in a Box with David Blaine
  • Micheal Jackson on Sesame Street
  • Snakes on a Brokeback Mountain
  • Velioceraptors in a Taxicab
  • Snakes on a Plane 5 - Electric Boogaloo
  • I know what those Motherfucking Snakes did last Summer
  • Carry on Serpents
  • R.Kelly On A 14 Year Old Girl
  • Pope On A Rope
  • Air on a G-String
  • Penguins in Leggings
  • Otters in Socks
  • Deal, No Deal or Snake
  • Coronation Snake
  • Eastsnakers
  • Snakefield
  • Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes, Fear, Loathing and Tony Blair in Las Vegas
  • Faranheit 9/11: The Snakes Did It!
  • Mary Antoinette on a Plane - "Let them Eat Snake!"
  • Desu on a Yacht, the 4chan spinoff
  • Snakes in Keanu Reeves
  • Snakes, while it Rains in Spain, fall mainly on the Plane
  • Stingrays on an Irwin, also known as Dammit, Someone was faster than me on the Internet
  • Snakes in Pain Using Canes on a Plane down the Drain in Ukraine Smoking Cocaine Moments Before Being Hit by a Train driven by Ichabod Crane
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode I: The Snake Menace (On a Plane)
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode II: The Attack of the Snakes (On a Plane)
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode III: The Revenge of the Plane
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode IV: A New Snake (On a Plane)
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode V: The Plane Strikes Back
  • Snakes on a Plane: Episode VI: The Return of the Snakes (On a Plane)
  • Snakes vs Predator
  • Monty Python on a Motherfucking Flying Circus
  • Snakes on a Nokia Phone
  • Running Joke Beaten to Death on an Uncyclopedia (with Snakes)

See Also[edit | edit source]

External Links[edit | edit source]

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