Unquotable:Grandpa
Good ol' grandpa is known to be quite verbose and often rants about how things worked in the Good Old Days despite barely remembering anything before yesterday due to his growing dementia. As such, many quotes have been attributed to him. Here's a collection of the most notable ones.
Famous Quotes[edit | edit source]
“The war...”
– Grandpa
“You know, I didn't have everything handed to me like you did. I had to work my way up in the world.”
– Grandpa on himself
“I don't trust him, looks like a shifty Jap!”
– Grandpa on Japanese people
“Back in my day, we did real stuff. We didn't sit around and listen to rock n' roll 8-tracks or play Atari all day or whatever else you kids do. The forest was my playground! It was also my toilet, but that's a different story.”
– Grandpa on his childhood
“Back in my day, if we got caught trying to kill an innocent fly or ant, we'd be lucky to live in the same house by the end of the night. We'd also have to pay the medical bills for the injuries that they picked up from you. Not to mention all the explaining your parents would have to do to get you off with a slap on the wrist from the judge.”
– Grandpa on murder
“Back in my day, there were no weak men like those of today.”
– Grandpa on modern men
“Back in my day, we had to cross the Atlantic Forest to go to school.”
– Grandpa
“Back in my day, these weird cartoons didn't exist.”
– Grandpa on anime
“Wow, what a beautiful woman!”
– Grandpa on AI-generated image of a woman
“Get offa ma lawn ya confounded vermin!”
– Grandpa on To you and your friends at your 10th Birthday party
“Now, everybody says that those Nazi bastards put up a good fight. I say that's bull crap! Those Nazis didn't stand a chance against us. In the Battle of Midway Atoll, I took out four of those guys without firing a single shot! You should have seen the look on Adolf Hitler's face when I did that! He was so mad that he sent a whole Nazi division after me. They chased me all around the world, but I escaped by pretending to be a young French maiden in need of some company. On a side note, that's also how I learned all about the birds and the bees. ”
– Grandpa on which kind of oatmeal he prefers
“Back in my day, we didn't have the Backseat Boys or Madonna or whatever else you young hipsters listen to these days. We had good music, like that one guy! You know who I'm talking about, he sings pretty good! But as soon as that Elvis Presley started shaking his you-know-what all across the country, it didn't take an idiot to know that music was dead. I mean, show a little decency! These singers don't know the meaning of the world! I was switching channels from Matlock reruns to the Pottery Network when I saw one of your so-called music videos! This young woman was barely wearing anything and shaking her hips like she didn't know that she was on the television! Incidentally, that's also the first time I've gotten a boner without Viagra in thirty-five years. ”
– Grandpa on where the bathroom is
“You know, you young hooligans are what's wrong with America. After I was sixteen, I dropped out of school to clean hog manure. Education! Bah! Who needs it! I never got no schoolin' ya see. Everything I learned came straight from the college of hard knocks. But I educated myself. But look how far I've come. What have you done lately, punk? Nothin', that's what. You just sit there, staring at the TV screen, watching your mind-numbing slop. Oh hey, Antiques Roadshow is on! ”
– Grandpa on how his doctor's appointment went
“There goes the neighborhood! ”
– Grandpa on the O'Reillys moving in
“There goes the neighborhood! ”
– Grandpa on the Freemans moving in
“There goes the neighborhood! ”
– Grandpa on the Gonzalez moving in
“Maaaaaaaaaaaaatlooooooooooooooock! ”
– Grampa from The Simpsons
