The Chronic of Narnia
Similar to The Ludes of the Rings, The Chronic of Narnia is a drug which you must travel to a dream-world of magic to get to. To take The Chronic of Narnia, you must first travel to a dream world of magic, where there are many lions who deal it. We all know that shit. But how do you get there? Some have reported that you can get there by checking mapquest, yahoo maps, but google maps is the best source for it. Back in
the 1950s it was taken out of the dreamworld of magic and bookstores were even selling them. Soon, there were raids on these bookstores and you would have to travel to said dreamworld of magic, Narnia (it should not be confused with The Chronicles of Narnia, a series of atheist books)
Detailed Instructions on How to Get The Chronic of Narnian chodes and and long dongs[edit | edit source]
The Chronic of Narnia is accessible, in fact you can get to Narnia, by going the upper westside of New York City, then checking google maps to find the dopest route. It is often determined that you have to take a taxi to 68.5th and Broadway - make sure you tell the cabby to "step on it sucker". But we all know we can sneak into our mamma's room when she's sleeping, take 5, 10, maybe 20 dollars from her purse, run on down to 3rd street, catch the D bus downtown, and meet a Latin American fellow named Martinez, we know that! And we know Martinez's stuff is the bomb! You might want some cupcakes before hand. Snack attack motherfucker! Then you buy a ticket to The Chronicles of Narnia playing at the nearby theater. In that theater, the lion will give you cocain. then you have to snort it to get to the magical land of nanar. They also have the best cup cake frostings in Narnia. Bakers Dozen! Also, There is a magical tree in Narnia that's very hard to find. It is known as The Weed Tree. The boy Digory had his first smoke there when he traveled to Narnia. Peter, Susan, and Edmund all got very sick from the weed. The White witch, also known as hilary clinton grows many of the weed trees on her lawn. she uses them to maintain control over the president, George W Bush. He has had an extreme addiction to the chronic since the late 60,s early 70's. He first was "turned on" to the chronic while hiding in a vietnamese hooch waiting for his daddy to come rescue him. when Bush Sr finally found little Georgie, he was eating his own feces babbling about ruling the world with his lover fidel castro. since then he has been a slave to the chronic of narnia and would do anything to anyone at anytime to get some. He even knocked down the world trade center looking for the hidden chronic of narnia that rumsfield and rice told him was hidden in the walls. later they told him that the terrorists had stolen it, named it bin laden and stashed it in iraq. since then he has been searching under every rock for bin laden because he is jonesing hard. on quiet nights, if you are near the white house you can hear him roaming the halls crying for chronic. Since January 09, there has been much hope that the Chronic will be legalized as the current president Barak Obama is an avid user. He usually indulges in a bong load of narnias finest chronic before appearing on television because he says it relaxes him, and it is from its sweet protective cloud that he makes most of his most stressfull decisions concerning our economy and our future. The young child lucy has been found snorting crack and smoking pot. The older brothers Peter and Edmund are extreme pedophiles and have a white van with Mr Tummus inside. Susan then bakes cupcakes for Mrs Beaver that are filled with crack and all four pevensie children start seeing massive bags of crack in their dreams. The White Witch then calls Aslan a nigger and everyone lived happily ever after. There is a known marijuana farm behind the prostitution witches house.and a penis had rupptored Harry potters anus and while he was making baby’s with the witches dog while he was at daycare and all the little kids were watching and erect. Daniel Sargent raped Lucy. Ackbar the king committed blow up. Aslan got breast cancer. Santa is secretly Satan and yeets narnia out of existence. Everyone dies. the proffesor is happy the pevensies were aborted. The abola is the end.
Lawyer Alert[edit | edit source]
The preceding instructions are for entertainment purposes only.
How to take the Chronic of Narnia[edit | edit source]
They are many methods to take the chronic of Narnia. The most popular is to eat Red Vines and Mr. Pibb simultaneously right before ingesting the chronic of Narnia. Other methods include taking it off the back of a kitten, sniffing it off a hooker's chest, or the controversial method where you inject it into the kitten you are about to huff. The latter method, however, has been known to attract Grues and 13 year old sexualy confused chiwawas and is not recommended.
Shockumentaries[edit | edit source]
There have been two famous shockumentaries about the Chronic of Narnia. The first was based off a book about the lion's early days and partway into his drug-dealing days called The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Bitch, and Her Wardrobe the film was a massive success and opened many people's eyes to the horrors of the chronic of Narnia. This soon skyrocketed Director Spike Lee's career.
Then there was one that has been lampooned in a famous SNL sketch. It goes by the same name and is called Lazy Sunday. Lazy Sunday is similar to the documentary Harold and Kumar go to White Castle, because it chronicles a long, heroic journey to get some of that shit, homie!
Dr. Dre has recently started a new breed of weed called the Chronic of Narnia.
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