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… every single person is unique, except you?
… you're a burden to society?
… fight club is a total cop out of the highest magnitude?
… there are people scared of being buried alive with fucking sharks?
… the cheese growing between my toes needs a rebuttal as soon as possible?
… dropping acid while riding a bike is... OH SHIT!!
… being at one with the universe is half as easy as being at two with the universe?
… petting zoos are gonna get a whole lot more fun?
… bad arguments are just as good as good ones? Because I said so?
… Jesus stole my girlfriend? Yeah, she left a note on the fridge. Said he had a cool hippie look and sandals. That bitch.
… in Russia, reversals reverse reversions?
… being dumped is just being picked up in reverse?
… picking up chicks is as easy as i, 0, e, π?
… walking is like running very slowly?
… anti-intellectualism be good?
… God kills a kitten whenever someone reads an article on tired internet memes?
… shopping without a shopping list is like editing the "Did You Know" list without knowing what the fuck you're doing?
… a threesome is fun even if you reproduce asexually? Don't ask me how I know.
… necromancy is just another way of getting a date, and that you shouldn't judge me?
… His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ultimate truth in the universe.