Mr. Saturn

“Some love them, some hate them, but why the actual HELL do they eat "peanut butter cheese bars"? I have never heard of something that disgusting in my 12 years of existing!”

– Ness

A "Mr. Saturn" experiencing in a blank void like purgatory after realizing he’s stuck inside of an Uncyclopedia article.

The Mr. Saturn is a skin ball with a bow and a nose the size of Mount Fuji. It is unknown why humans like these humanoid Blobfish buttholes. Mr. Saturns are usually described as: lovable idiots from Earthbound, Random NPC that looks funny, and of course: smelly. Mr. Saturns also have big caveman-lookin' eyebrows, P.U. These things don't have mouths, therefore, it's perfectly logical to mention that they can't eat, breathe, talk, or even smile. Mr. Saturn is also only male, every single one of them, is male. But in brawl, Mr. Saturn siblings and "Mrs. Saturn" are mentioned when you kick a thousand of these science fair rejects in the ass. Also, they don't have hands. Reporters comment on this disability as: "sucks to be you," and "what the hell is a Mr. Saturn!?", They also get captured and enslaved by belch, which is a blob of barf from Belgium. How did they get captured by a blob of God forsaken barf? I'm asking that same question son.

History

The man himself

The Mr. Saturn species first farted their way into Earth. But not Earthbound!, Earth-Buns. Earth-buns is a prequel to Mother 2, but technically a sequel to Mother. In this game, the protagonist plays a textbook named Texty, who has recently been elected the mayor of Yellowknife. In Earth-Buns these suckers have free health care, unlike the rest of the city, who are forced to pay due to not being cute. Flash forward to Mother-- Not Mother 3! It's "Communism game gets no localization Sim". They do nothing but fall into lava if you push them. They can be made into a soup that heals 2x HP, with X being the day of the month the game’s currently in. For example, if it’s March 10, then you heal 20 HP. If it’s November 31, the game crashes.

Also, This species is in EVERY piece of the series’ branding past Earth-Buns. He is on the albums and all. He has also been included in, uh...um...I don't think there's much other than fangames and merch and official games.

Fun facts!

They serve no purpose other than plot, and being funny, that's literally it.

• A Mr. Saturn once went on a F-22 fighter jet, Totally,
• Most Mr. Saturns hate glasses. They view it as silly, and enjoy breaking them whenever they see one on someone else’s face.
• Also: Mr. Saturn licked the challenger, and 20 minutes before he licked the challenger he ate Raw Acid.

Christ, Also for idiots: Saturn, but sadly, unlike Saturn- Saturn don't have a weird Mount Everest sized nose, Making "Saturn" NOT look identical.

What Mr. Saturn and Saturn DO NOT have in common

• Mount Everest Nose

• Weird bow

• Having a singular hair

• Eyes, and eye brows.

• Feet with...no toes?

• Breathing Air

What Mr. Saturn HAS in common with Saturn

• Not having hands

• Nor arms,

• Not having toes

• Existing

• Not much els

Personality and Features

These little chickens act like 5-year-olds with rabies. They’re highly aggressive to those who don’t smile at them, especially to those who think they smell terrible. Because to them, they’re used to their scent.

They are pretty good at bouncing, mainly due to them being partially made out of rubber. Due to this, they’re also hypothetically good for elastic bands, though, their lack of reproductive features results in them making for a poor choice in making them, as any actual attempt at making a farm of them would quickly die out. They also have retractable whiskers, their primary way to smell. They’re retractable because otherwise, people would confuse them for vermin.

Related Species

Mr. Itoi holding the Mr. Saturn equalivant of the anti Christ

Merchandise

The plush of Mr fat big nosed saturn

He got skinned, and turned in to a 300$ costume, god

These little craps are in every single atom of Mother branding, you just can't escape the nose thingy. Also: they are cash cows, have you ever tried looking up Earthbound and not seeing Mr. Saturn within 3 pages?

For some reason they had a giant Mr. Saturn costume. Apparently since these things are so popular, they got their own Halloween costume for cornballs and Cornbread to dress up as.

List of Merchandise

• Happy Meals
• Lead-paint cups
• Hot Wheels
• Cold Wheels
• Overpriced Funko Pops
• Soap

Things Mr. Saturn is in (outside of the mother series)

What the hell is going on

Doom!!! This is proven bye this totally real screenshot!!11!!!1 Wait, why is Doomguy's bunny replacing doom guy???? He is Totally in doom, trust me bro, Mr Saturn is also in quake, I wonder if you noticed I put a bunny in every screenshot

Bunnies, in duke, damn it

Damn it, he's reached Duke...

Damn it, the bunnies have reached quake...

Is he just… IN EVERY SINGLE 1990's SHOOTER!?!? Oh, thank God the bunnies haven't reached wolfenstein, Anyways, Who the hell keeps putting bunnies on top of first person shooters!? at least Mr Saturn isn't in Wolfenstein.

Also, they appear in:

• Smash
• Mother Series
• DOOM
• Duke Nukem

Wheres Mr Saturn?

Also, COMPLETELY serious!!!1!1!!! Do NOT mention how his nose looks like a giant butt!!!1111!!!!!

Mr. Saturn in Politics

Mr. Saturn has been included in several political posts, mainly due to conflicts over whether or not there’s a Mrs. Saturn, with The Left, The Right, The Up, and The Down all arguing for or against this. We have kidnapped— convinced a Mr. Saturn to write his experience under being in several political posts.

Some say: "Uh, can you say that again? I can't hear ya,", Oh- i forgot that at that exact moment Mr. "some say's" Hearing aids fell out. Also, Mr. Saturn will be Doing advertisements with Pepsi, But Pepsiman realized Using a outdated video game character would be sucky advertising.

Mr. Saturn and Pepsi

Pepsi man brutally strangles the innocent Mr. Saturn species

Remember the Pepsi Jet? Mr. Saturn earned it after working brutally at the Pepsi Factory for years, Even though they could've just, ya know, Sent him home with bandages? Nope, Jet. (The Newark Times will confirm that at the time the Mr. Saturn species had earned 700,000,000 Pepsi Points Prior to the Enslavement, That's exactly 700,000,000 Individual Pepsi bottles. It’s suspected that despite such efforts, the average Mr. Saturn was being paid less than 12 cents per week.)

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This page will be re-checked on 11 February 2026, and if not improved will face deletion.

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