Finnegans Wake

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fuckery, down the fundus of the 'nets, transpourted recommanded-for-yous before our jod-courier. Tim, whithwitch love of the liqueur lurent, ghshytling about onlien spotholes, a ladder he perclimbed; there, atta sheer logic clear assa zebra, our alochalf intraveniently flagerled, triped in midaire, and fell, cantabile.

Plot[edit | edit source]

The Fall of Tim Finnegan – Bang! – was captured by the near-bye Ted Cochane Pteranyl. T'ed, through the protocoltural dizzignificance, saw him the enantinomical[1] face of the dolorocraniograph[2]. Thus peeposted was the image, titled "The Pfall of Man", and ayed it gogogoch viral.

Our gues'd T'ed[edit | edit source]

Ted was all ipfy the jewelous famezone, and he went to far; jeal and zeal jellied into the xanthopavements, and Boss Music! Vorde Vah vvound vp visualizing himself, armored in Holeywood catatroupes. Vah, after the pfonder (rofl'd'orgy!) on the way home (commudist?) so lost, Faded at the focal train station whence he was crow'd after in the oppositioner directionals. Exescaping the saintinction only naroly, he tripped on a ladder so fallen (slalelilolu!) and fell into the fit pit such innormmus size and so found himself in the charadles of typical 21-cemtery mega-corps.

Nipende! The corpse said.

Hapana! Vah garbled.

Meanwhale, on thé Ínternet[edit | edit source]

—Innd ovitself a sorrowo​ful sight!

Said Lorem, the first user to comment.

By the time a groundhole cover blowisset up and ignitisset a dhumpster, the bath irrealis has Tubed down You and gained a million views. Holeless was its reviews and the audience biu-bius.

—Oh Tim! Why did you die?

They biued, a coimmunity thus the go-togethers babies and panmimicries.

You died, so cute! Laught upvoters and downvoters alike.

Govet come to the rescue. In the apftermathematics, Joe Biden was allocated the Nobel Peace Prize.

Pid-geonalpha[edit | edit source]

A group of battery-smelling people congregated nearby. One of them was reading [e] book. What does it say?

The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk!) of a once wallstrait uncyclopedia happened under the isnjakdjwpaoskeikaiedksleifogfiohpofdozkxjsmvcmediekickksikakiae of godawful nipalu wïăé dreamened lukashi of...

At which point the device was turned off. "No spoilers," the reader's index finger goes \ | /

Fine then, may you depart from your chapichio aparto of citious annoys.

Earlier this day some 'net philosophist waaaaaa schanting the meaninglessness of modern life. The latest batch of gaming chairs, Bloody Throne™'s, sat in a messy heap smothering in the damp air. We hold the secrets to the riddle, a riddle which we can change at will, written in Toiletations-of-Users everyone kisses when they join. On some web-site, a commenter accursed us of treating customers like crap and of causing the stasis of iconyamic growth. Standing there a cross between a fertility symbol and a blanched turnip, unsure what to do next, T'ed went into a flashback.

The past[edit | edit source]

"This pain I have no words for it, I could make a video for it but it wouldn't attract even a spam bot."

The Algo laughed as T'ed climbed onto the table, dancing among the computers, running over the shit to be completed by Friday, shit we're supposed to sell, shit we've planned to buy.

The entire building laughed as T'ed threw himself into a window, leaving a T'ed'ed hole and a mist of Pyrox dust. Then everyone went back to work.

So through the motions of enshittification, another day.

Email[edit | edit source]

—Dear Users,

Your Reshitztance is a Shitzophrenic move.

Please stop. It won't change a thing.

If you want to vent, use the ventilation shaft.

Yours litterally,

Algo.

Characters, reinterpreted[edit | edit source]

—President of Pacmanistan, I am Pac-man

—You were dreamend, dear. The pawdrag? The fawthrig? Shoe! Hear are no phanthares in the room at all, avikkeen. No bad bold faathern, dear one.

—øehehehehehehehehehehe ethapuj mikadosh mikas'skit, but ppoorr unholy savior of Earth shall reunite! Fight! aaaaaaaaafwep c6nû åltf6

—Дa, sire?

—Koyaanisqatsi

—Vaathkree

—Phenix

—Heimsókn

—Norrøne

—Mihklipäev-mirrror

—Ihateonewordsentences

...pretty please.

You Dawg[edit | edit source]

“prim minster of astralia, that’s sum’tin’ i oughtta be”

~ Whom

“Dreamed I was an EskimoDon’t be a naughty eskimoEskimoesEskimos”

~ Whence

“Whatever I've done, has been done already; whatever I'm yet to do, will eventually be done without me.”

~ a jumping Piranha Plant who spits out fire


What intwelligrent exchan' Sponsored by Pepsi™! In the lime of the laine parhumane of the eathe, any shentense could've a proudfound meaning.

Zompfi acopolice[edit | edit source]

Zompfies were neutralizing tons ə' sitties (lego-socially), and despair was spreading. Anxiety reduction HOW? Soso midja was the cuer. Thus much or the March hang in slience this laughter thus lamellar to the new pertumorations stone-skipping into the rivir of millionial art.

N'now the random-encircled-ground-auto-ignite-not-aligned-with-emotion-and-rationality-in-guest-body-thought has spoken.

—You display such an otter lack of liteary tardition! You go through the turdungerous crange of infridgement, to a nonce duckling the screen.

T'ed, his brain being washed (corn-flavored bubble bath!), twirled swirled whirled raging with joy, then squealed screamed shrieked as if undergoing a rot-canal threatment.

Themes[edit | edit source]

A Thirty-Fifth Century Chef d'eswerve[edit | edit source]

"Finnegans Wake" (published in 3432) is truly a misteroperamaystwerk, altwixt absence has actually held it in their hands. Why n'one knows if "Finnegans Wake" is a novel, a movie or a kitten or awake. It might even be soft porn.

runningisthe river past the begorrahbastards that wake o Finnegan (Irish innished thirtyfourthirtytwo), truly a myopic spectacle! Written in pictures or cats, perhaps both - femalines?

Tout ceci et toi avez employé dans le développement de l'ancien n'avez pas pu rester seulement dans les pages du réseau !. Pour (tajenaiiiiiscmm) celui, et dans une certaine mesure le reste de l'organisation de cette information, vous trouverez la plupart des ressources existantes dans le domaine de la gestion et du travail, ou êtes responsable de l'information qu'elles prévoient pour s'employer.

Oy vey! Three quarks for Muster Mark. I like reading Æsop’s fagles - Penis!

Byelorussian Azerbaijani an there was a man from Byelorus Wallachia. Fark fark fark! sauguasuges . Someyhthingoranothert (72 Count) I got my diddly spayed

Alas; fine Finnegan's fate, making dry desert and rashy the thorred worlds and parsons thereof, though its poorness caused by poverty - redundadant? - of undry dessert and mmm (the pfilomunscenrtoolffloddoiolcomeyuloasdertenterytoumnckkawdbaqwaweraoopfmrisndiurt!) rashy again and it is all God's feckin' fault. Plumghust. Mufflewhump. Urrrrgh. Adamand A man on the Eve of the running is the -

James Joyce[edit | edit source]

—Whence it is a slopperish matter, given the wet and low visibility [...] to idendifine the individuone.

—They had amazin inmafair; they gotch you down they wanna keep you there

The finest churchings gave joys, James, the pulpy unculpable young Emperor o' the school - birds not fish, pens that is, given to the scene or zine, or combinulated. Soon switching words in the employ corrective of detectives and defective electives - chosen by collectives and subjected to invectives! explosions of blue elephants cause the moon to explode with pink colored barbie dolls

-That Joyce fellow did not like quotation marks, said <insert name here>

-No, he did not, said Qqiawijaiwe

-What the hell am I doing this article? asked Leopold Bloom.

Quibbling non-quillbling state - demanding always more more more por-por-portals. Illigiterate prenaughts, always mediocry - not mimicry, no no - leftus naught plus one, but the one, though not naught, is naught. Alwyth renning - yeth - alwyth renning aleng away aleng a last loved the

Wittgensteinian Interpretation[edit | edit source]

All that I can hear in this is blablablabla. Won't you most decoriously beseal your ficking speech, you old Irish drunk.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

el exexexes, the time when Chine takes shine, copies Finninagains pages; miscopylating of course, replacing foamer with Homer, though joys in that two. Quality shrewish and -un, the lepus-death opus, or anti as it may be and is. Miscopylating again, none of it here please for double fortnights; then the mmm immmage of the watered pacific porcine. Aquase hippoes of doom somos cupiditas Italy whereywhether bithe in thundrohundroletrowordoreallylongolongolongowordothunderhundroletroloishundredletterlongothundroyea. Fuck.

Criticissm (Phwjnnaneuwjnjsajjauswuweh!)[edit | edit source]

-ничего, но бесформенной и скучной массы фальшивых фольклор, холодный пудинг из книг, постоянный храп в соседней комнате [...], и только редкие обрывки небесного интонации выкупить его от полного бледность, *Said a Russens-americann named Vladimir Nabokov, no schizzenplats ‘e rally sed this.

Ζt mnidaydwisww mhaille i a a rahb jawa lpe modusoperandi sannse lyrithya olipro nikau wks a wek haydrahlienne cajek ljlego matthlock shadeix paizuri utriton qzekrom xamralco colourful emulsified Find Me Colours, I say I say.

—Wawiekskeakweikierikskskwejfsjznsdfjednmfuianruawndfufudkfuifudfjjfhifsdufufifufsicjsuifyuifucfdufusfdusfifsuifsuicsjsfuifsuisfuscfijscujfiusffsuiusfckjcfufufsufsuifucjifuuficjufucfkuifusfuidfsuckfuifuikckfuifuifukckufuicifsuckifkuifsssdikjifusfisksfkfucfuiufkckffkukscukkscucukdudfuksuscuuscfufusfksckkucufskkshsdueyuhuyiryurjshberbrfnhsjjbeshjebsbehbefhjsbakjejehhnjjjjejejjeushruherhtuehuythdeujejxskjfeuehefghfegffufckmjfucjfufucjfhudcfucjcjfuuckjcfkfujcuckfcfjckfufuckimhavingaseizurenoshitimreallyhavingaseizurejesuschristjejehuwerhuruweyhweyhuifdjiuiwiwejwdijwjjweijweujwdjjwjsjwdjiwsijwsioajaeiuioauiowuioweuiowoaiwuohuwehhweiohjaiohwahuihiyhuawerheyhwriyiwefhuidhudwhidwhwhiwehuifwehuihiwruhuiwrehuiwerhuiwerhuiwfhuiduihijdhuiwdhuiwdhuidwrhuiwrgyscuyefisoyusuigfsfdygaguiweuweugiefsgiesfhiausioierasioauihujahjghjahjigauihuiaghaighauouiawtioeueiogshjsdhuighafsghiafaghofgoaghogfooaoirueiosfuiosdsgherhuroaggaoghoabogaofghaghofhgaogfrgesuieguigreuiegeguigeuieagsahhfuaiigfgfiarwosieeihefioefhughefoerheirfhehufiohefuefhohoerosouiehoshsuoheehueohousuowehsdhjoaheoohweahuawehuoeahoueahuoeahooaehuhuoerhufehuefhoehouerhgeruoesuihbinbvcnmdjfghjfdkdfjhgfjdklerijsdfoihaowspdodifuhdjksjfhgfjdksjhfdjshsjaksuwieuyuwsiswdufjdksjdhfdjskwiuiswedrutfdisdufdjskjfhgfjdkjfhdjweiuiwoeurieoidrfutfkldrjfdkjfhjdkruiidsiohjdfioiofhfuashjsdfuihsgfjhsdfhuiosdfhrfhjuadfhidfahaedhdajhadhjasdjkaedjhadjaerhuoedfhjdjxdfhkjsdfhjdfhjdfsjkhadfhjedfhjdfhjfjhfahjehuouedhujsfdhjfsdhjdieisejiejejeijsjwsijerkjlkgotiojamesjoycesucksekejtujrthijeryhuehhtbdhjehhbrtheherghetheijtehuerhueryheyherhreherhreghrwehwhjeihwehiwehwehweuiewghihwehwhwehgiwehweanybodywhoreadsthisarticlesuckseuiejuerhjererheruehishuirhrhisrhurhhurjrhjthuighurhuhrugtfpenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenisyousuckfaggothuuhfgduiyhuieyhefhfhuirthethuirdiyhuerhuirsuiuehuiehtehuirtehrrheihuierhuerhirthuiskjshirhuisrthuistirihrthyuidyuirhgrhrghuidrhahsdhieisrhherheuihueighhewhuiwerhiwethiethitwiwgtithetihuiethuietsahuiehuihseiihethiethiehtigteggituetuetueritiitiitirsdjjehrherhrtehuerhthuethuethusiueifuhfihifhieuihuahuietuihghgghhtghirhieuhgghtgectheritti

—c’wao waij wiaj woap ten awosk woao wap eiro axncm a’wie ero’pei ala’w eika’wk eowpa’ls lsa’mba wajwk walg’wiej wikak wowlal’woeks alwe’wksk akwks’alw wke’wo mnimba azx wpls i alwkek’an an tolp’o waogk wleosp aoewels’aowo rifk woeps alwkiw wksis’akwei kj oiw alws’a wepe’i wepesi wepepsi wo wal woep c’to a’s eop’la woe’ncm namba alw’eo cn’an wie’por ale’alk poeos’a

—VBNMNOUU’T T’LASA PALSTO DLRA FAALSTA TATO DVRCKA VANDOS M’LST MAER FNORDTA IO LU PA AARDAN Y’ALLAS B’STA B’NOSAKA U’VE D’ZANOS LA’GANA KZSTAVOS LA’GANAAS DU’STOV’E YAMUSCHA DS’BANOS E’LI’OSTS E’LIS’CANA MAS’CHTIS BUSTUUN’E D’LINGA M’LAS’KANAI DOLE’E LISTOS KALLIH RA’MEN PALOAH BAROSA C’NK M’X B’LO’STOMOS TALLOAH RAASTOS NAAMAS D’LAS SSTO ISE KEE KEE KALLIPAH FHATGN NORGUE HRRMNN MEARNEYZE WITN’AIFFAIR Y’LORI!

—NABO ZHAR WAAKA WIS’KA LANG SANDAAS I’Z TAGOS GALA ISLO IVSTICIO VILDOS TALOINE REXXUS UNCA TEGUS BOXXANE TAGN TECHX SARIA L’X S’RA FOO’WIT FIYA LATO KOBANE VINGUS VIN BRACH M’NSK TAYLESS VAALKTREE N’HUSU AIILN RABI OSH VLITTQUNU HATB BRACK NESS WILSO SORCERO HAIC CALDAZAR AN CALDARAI!

Matthlock Bernie.jpg Soundgarden.jpg 800px-Flag of Moldova.svg.png Talal of Jordan.jpg Lionel Hutz.jpg India! 22:06, March 17, 2012 (UTC)

RacistSketch 1497746c.jpg

Devo hat.png

User:Matthlock/sig 23:17, June 25, 2012 (UTC) pwwple

CUser:M,atthlock/

Formal Comparative Critîcĭsm[edit | edit source]

Regulă asculta, amice. Am de gând să-ţi spun asta acum pentru a economisi timp şi nervi. Finnegans Wake este nebun, prost şi incoerent şi este în valoare de nu vă deranjează, nici ora din zi. Tot ce este este 626 de pagini de cuvinte lipsite de sens vocabularul şi expresii care au fost compilate într-o legendar chef de băut de şaptesprezece ani. Anthony Burgess lăudat această bucată de rahat ca retardat - şi citez - ". O viziune mare de benzi desenate, unul dintre puţinele cărţi ale lumii care ne poate face să râzi cu voce tare pe aproape fiecare pagină", nu-l cred. Întâi de toate, expresia este "rade cu voce tare," nu ", rade cu voce tare", astfel încât oricine care crede el spune că este un drept dumbass totală. În al doilea rând, nu stii ce carte Anthony Burgess este cel mai faimos pentru scris? "A Clockwork Orange." A Clockwork Orange! Desigur, A Clockwork Orange este mult mai puţin ameninţătoare pentru sănătatea ta mintală, care Finnegans Wake, dar am face o digresiune. Nu citesc Finnegans Wake. De asemenea, pentru numele lui Dumnezeu, nu, repet nu, să încerce să facă din sensul său.Cartea nu este în valoare de interpretare gravă. Noi nu ar trebui să încerce să înţeleagă sensul, din păcate mergem toţi nebuni. Noi nu trebuie să ştie de ce a fost făcut, ci mai degrabă ştiu doar că a fost făcut. Aşa cum am spus mai înainte, a fost cuvintele unui chef de băut şaptesprezece ani de-a lungul pentru că James Joyce tip sigur că a ştiut cum să bea. Şi, de asemenea, vă rugăm să înţelegeţi că Joyce a fost orb merge progresiv în timp ce el a scris această carte, astfel încât cuvintele, probabil, arata mai bine în cap decât pe hârtie. Oricum, dacă vrei să-l citesc, şi Dumnezeu ar şti de ce numai în cazul în care ai făcut, atunci eu nu te pot opri, dar cum am spus înainte, nu ar fi citit Finnegans Wake, dacă aş fi fost tu.

Bibliography[edit | edit source]

Boredom mustn't last for long. Another froggy morning, another fall – Bang! This time T'ed off of the roof; his fall was captured by Vorde Vah on camera, imgurs valued just like the greenning tickets to paradise. Lo, grass growth of calidum[3]: hand-picked by day by night by time-last-modified were the e-mail e-cornmunism e-messiah

PARIS,

1922-1939

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. enantinomical adjective (For an object) to be in a specific orientation so that it looks sexy. Blend of "enantiomer", "antimony" and "antinomy", with extra illogical suffixes.
  2. dolorocraniograph noun A shocking image portraying someone's fall with his skull broken. From dolor (pain), cranium, and -graph.
  3. calidum A form of calidus, meaning hot or lusty, here extended to mean the "hot topic" and "hot posts" on social media.