Afroman

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Now Buckwheat is all grown up, man!
This article was dedicated by Afroman to all the whack rappers, and all the whack people who like and buy their whack music.

“I was going to say something, but then I got high.”

~ Oscar Wilde on getting high

Afro Mother Fuckin' M-A-N can't stand no mother fuckin' Ying Yang Twins. He thinks Little John and the East Side Boys, is an ignorant, irritating bunch of noise. (and)If you don't give a damn, go throw it out, What? If you don't give a damn go throw it out... the window, up against the wall, then he laughs when the mother fuckers fall, those fools can't rap at all. He'd never buy a tune, from the Neptune, when their beat go on, he hope it go off soon. Fabulous? Whats fabulous about it? He think it terrible, music unbearable, ripping off Mace with that look on his face, OMG, Afroman rest's his case.

Afro Mans Opinion on Kelis[edit | edit source]

You've been wondering who this guy really was, hadn't you? Now you know!

Kelis! Wow, I hate her so much right now,"her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard?"... who gave you her record deal, oh my god! Nas is in the video with Kelis. Jay-Z's in the video with Beyonce, both of these rappers are whack, yet people talk smack about Forty Belafonte?

The music industry is using the slang, and trying to play it off, like they doing their thang. But come-on, Cameron. Oh-boy, Dipsit?, Oh-boy. How can you be from a city so black, and bust shitty lyrics that's whick-whick-whack!

Now to get back on Kelis. This is what Afroman want u to do: Get on your knees and face me, I got a milkshake for u and its tasty.... Just like your album.

Puff Daddy Is Whack as R&B singers, Man[edit | edit source]

Puff Daddy, enough already. Now its P.Diddy, but it still sound shitty. How your can your group be called "The Band" when nobody plays and instrument man? I don't play, B2K, R&B singers, be too gay. You know they broke up over money. Oh yeah?.. that's too bad, Afro Man don't care, He think its good no doubt, so they can stop putting all that bullshit out.

Like what? What a girl wants what was girl needs, a fucking job and a brand new hair weave! What a girl want, what a girl needs, a fucking job and a brand new hair weave, oh bump-bump-bump...that is all i want to do. bump-bump-bump. That's my song, that's what I wrote down on a piece of paper... "bump-bump-bump." Call up Puff Daddy, and ask him if he wants to do a verse with me "take that, take that"

Pimpin' Shouldn't be so Whack[edit | edit source]

Red & Affyellow Mother Fuckin' M & M, can't stand no mother fuckin' Ying Yang twins

Real pimps getting down on the floor, but i don't see a hoe in the video. Why is David Banner running from the clan, what happened to the bitches man? Hmm...Cadillac on 22's, why is David Banner takin' off his shoes? Its supposed to be about Cadillac's, not David Banner bringing dead people back. Even though its all good... it might get misunderstood... dance skippy Miss Hippy is the hood.

Raps they're writing up, I cant lighten up, until these whack rappers tighten up.

Missy Elliot[edit | edit source]

She thinks she looks like Halle Berry... now that's scary! "Her CD it ain't worth it, put your money in your pocket and reverse it. Her CD it ain't worth it, put your money in your pocket and reverse it. Missy Elliot makes a bunch of bullshit. Missy Elliot makes a bunch of bullshit. Missy Elliot makes a bunch of bullshit.

hey check this out...

I cant stand her music going in my ear. If you like Missy Elliot then get the fuck outta here.

Whack Mother Fuckin' Rappers[edit | edit source]

Most rappers are whack, just like the people they attract. Hey man... Trina's on TV... oh ya, she fine, hey homie? Yeah, she cute... but not when she rapping, press mute.

Eve-olution[edit | edit source]

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And now we're gonna play a single from the album "Weavolution" - Even with a weave, I cant stand eve" sing it with me, and harmonize. "Even with a weave, I can't stand Eve"..."I cant stand Eve"---That's what Afroman said. Said, "she got a pinhead". Most people head is round... hers goes up and down. Like a peanut. She could be pretty, if her attitude wasn't so shitty. Talkin about "Ya trying to come through the back door" she ain't got no back door, whats she talking smack for?

Male bashing with Mary J! Like Queen Latifah, she must be gay. On Afromans radio you gets no play, not today!

Afroman on MTV[edit | edit source]

What the fuck happened to MTV? Why these whack rappers get to make a CD? We don't know man. Check out 50 Cent, he don't move his mouth when he's rapping, he rap like he's Mike Tyson or something? He don't move his mouth, he mumbles out, It's Ludicorus, It's Ludicrous". Open your mouth, damn it.

Teach me how to stunt? They need to teach him how to roll a fat blunt, get high, get drunk, take it easy and stop making songs so cheesy.

Afroman in the presidential race[edit | edit source]

Afroman has recently decided to run for president, competing against Sleepy Joe and Mr. Orange as an independant party.

Does Afroman Like Anyone?[edit | edit source]

Rasta peace symbol.gif

Yes, Afroman says Manny Fresh is actually fresh. And Juvenille... he like his style, but the worst rapper he ever heard, man. Is the whack-ass mutha-fuckin' Birdman

Also Silk the Shocker? "My name is Silk, and I will shock you" oh man, "Ive just been shocked by silk the shocker!"

Did you like this article?[edit | edit source]

If you didn't, then you need to smoke some hash, relax, with a Colt 45, and two zig zags. Baby, that's the life for me. We can go to a park, after dark, and smoke that tumble weed. And when the marijuana burns, we can take our turns, singin' them dirty rap songs. Then stop to hit the bong like Cheech & Chong and sell tapes from here to Hong Kong... and we can't remember the rest of the lyrics to that, 'cause we got high, 'cause we got high, 'cause we got high.... by the way, we ain't gay or nothing, but we wanna ask you something, man...

Does your dick hang low? can you tie it in a bow? Can you throw it over your shoulder and wear it like a radio, can you something yadda yadda, two and fro, does your dick hang low?

Fuck it, we out, peace man!

See also[edit | edit source]