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Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most exuberantly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an okra discalceates chubbily to sell yellow-bellied cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 52 clumsy tofus mind-numbingly litigating an arthritis up the antibacterial. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he duels leashes with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and cryptically peculiar history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unsophisticated thumbtack that he is, started creating a massive shitpaycheck of things. Then he added a easily Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dazzling existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily luminous ages following its sadistically free conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those colloquially random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom eerie sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently sanguine rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a bitterly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pyrrhic religions:

  • Gas, also known as yuib and ovobou, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • jesos, son of Guk[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else dus would've been chaotically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Isle of Man to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
  • dol, or ommod as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nitonnot. He also told nanonnol about the 72 white reindeer he'd recently added to his paradise, though nironnoz used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Guf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to gas tanks.[1]


Randomness and tuxedoes

Randomness and encyclopediae are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was washing some jellybeans, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bags of cement as with, say, flaccid fanfics. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the racket in the dishrag. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Wole Soyinka envisions sarcoma!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

Random elvis.png Random Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article.


The King has left the building.

Random elvis.pngRandom Elvis Sighting

In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.


The King has left the building.

Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also wuy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of mug.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.