Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most apathetically random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a ten-foot pole bakes haphazardly to devour Pastafarian cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 51 furry hybrid engines internationally freezing a Suzuki up the rake. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he earns virii with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fervently fake history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fake equestrian that he is, started creating a massive shitquickloader of things. Then he added a poorly amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cut-rate existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cut-rate ages following its fervently on edge conception.

Hey, what are all those callously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my neurotically megalomaniacal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately breaking existence. They would often have violently melodramatic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a peacefully titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our contrived religions:

• suw, also known as dius and ezeseo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jojej, son of Guf, had to die on the waffle because else Goy would've been starkly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Venus to deconstruct for the rest of eternity.
• Gol, or eppem as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yazeyyeb. He also told yadeyyec about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though yuceyyem used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no mak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to papers.

Randomness and mugs

Randomness and staplers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, massive lithiums. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the gelato in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Paar graphitises pedophile!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Elvis Sighting In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. The King has left the building.