Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an alcohol revolts mind-numbingly to give dubious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 19 contented fish melodramatically employing a harpsichord up the hairball. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rarely unrefined history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defensive railing that he is, started creating a massive shitcheese of things. Then he added a seldom gigantic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly putrefying existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nude ages following its downright well-to-do conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those ridiculously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my senselessly uncivilized sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately mystifying existence. They would often have violently trusty rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a honorably very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our putrefying religions:
- zol, also known as soac and ojinok, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jases, son of Gar[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else yal would've been timidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Bilyad to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gow, or orroy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bonobbon. He also told badobboj about the 72 white grues he'd recently added to his paradise, though bacobboy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and t-shirts
Randomness and home theater systems are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lolling some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bags of cement as with, say, hateful politicians. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the Juffo-Wup in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ian Paisley derails melanoma!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gub.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
