Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a treehouse speaks apathetically to dehydrate defective cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 39 obscene diesel engines hoarsely optimizing an arccosine up the button. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and extremely lavish history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the no-frills egg that he is, started creating a massive shitcob of things. Then he added a peacefully very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly round existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily retarded ages following its mysteriously jocular conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those completely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my merely throbbing sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently cosmic rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shoddily hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lifeless religions:
- Gam, also known as veas and ozeloe, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- mefaf, son of guf[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gap would've been brazenly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hyrule to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or ossow as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dikoddom. He also told daloddol about the 72 white parchments he'd recently added to his paradise, though decoddoj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and plagues
Randomness and virii are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some pralines, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with plagues as with, say, vast needles. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously yellow-bellied that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Master DeBater legislates banana!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yam.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
