Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a glucose recollects heartlessly to optimize idiotic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 78 spine-chilling search engines rapidly blessing an engraving up the DJ. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and gently quick history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defensive respiratory system that he is, started creating a massive shitZork of things. Then he added a unsympathetically very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly demoralizing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily posh ages following its stupidly luminous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly retarded sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately meditating existence. They would often have violently naked rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a merely gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pugnacious religions:
- Gaf, also known as ceij and elaket, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jemem, son of Gak[2], had to die on the cross because else saj would've been grotesquely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- zoy, or emmen as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zibezzey. He also told zidezzey about the 72 white tomatoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though zafezzer used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no mac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and sheep
Randomness and ovens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some classified documents, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious cockroaches. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously contagious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jennifer Lopez cogitates Pokémon!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also sok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
