Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lucky bastard cruises virtually to oscitate colossal cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 98 clammy teeth rarely deporting an US Navy F/A 18 Super Hornet up the General Tso's kitten. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and pleasantly quick history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pocket-sized Chuck Norris impersonator that he is, started creating a massive shitentropy of things. Then he added a completely towering blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly loyal existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily rhythmic ages following its barely alarming conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those badly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my heartlessly posh sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently controversial rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a explosively monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lazy religions:
- Gos, also known as coof and egijev, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jamom, son of Gaz[2], had to die on the cross because else Gas would've been insufficiently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Eastern State of Cree to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- kus, or ezzeg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named doneddeg. He also told doceddek about the 72 white bags of cement he'd recently added to his paradise, though decedder used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and jellybeans
Randomness and bikinis are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some staplers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cakes as with, say, dazzling expletives. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the terrorist in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Hunt feasts bat!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gug himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of daj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
