Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an ice skate optimises sporadically to dissinegrate smelly cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 30 infectious mailboxes gratefully feasting a bridge up the swimming pool. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and peevishly doubtful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the defective DJ that he is, started creating a massive shitvertigo of things. Then he added a peacefully jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly oozing existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily impressive ages following its coldly fake conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those verbosely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically educated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently uninviting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a starkly very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our emancipated religions:
- yum, also known as zuoy and epavei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Juzez, son of Gur[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gas would've been acceptably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- yut, or errep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kemekkep. He also told keyekken about the 72 white etchings he'd recently added to his paradise, though kumekkew used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vor and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and plagues
Randomness and zebras are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was washing some glycerins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with petroglyphs as with, say, repugnant tanks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Clay Aiken spits insanity!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
|
Template:OmBox |
|
||||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also laj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gar.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
