Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most melodramatically random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a candlestick constructs audaciously to receive nail-biting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 58 sinister cowbells frantically piloting a Daewoo up the handstand. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he wambles pastries with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and puzzlingly cozy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the demoralizing chromosome that he is, started creating a massive shit20-hit combo of things. Then he added a shoddily amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly shiny existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow ages following its rudely cozy conception.

Hey, what are all those nearly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my offensively exotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately litigating existence. They would often have violently tofu-esque rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a grumpily giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our impressive religions:

• rul, also known as vuuj and eyasee, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jobub, son of pob, had to die on the cross because else yuw would've been uncontrollably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
• cuk, or effej as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named datedded. He also told dopeddel about the 72 white lawn mowers he'd recently added to his paradise, though dabedded used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no Gub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to igneous protrusions.

Randomness and violoncelli

Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some giraffes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with homicidal screaming carrots as with, say, wet kittens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the Zork in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. I.C. York-Hunt matures random string of utility muffin research kitchens and cheeseburgers with a large fries and a coke, plus a kids meal spawned by salad forks ablating US Navy aircraft carrier super hornets!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)