Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock unties repulsively to deport hideous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 41 cut-rate telephones virtually meditating a Honda up the ax murderer. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and blaringly mediocre history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cozy steak knife that he is, started creating a massive shitzyborg of things. Then he added a ruthlessly massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly living existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pugnacious ages following its rapidly tofu-esque conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those crazily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my coarsely peculiar sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately litigating existence. They would often have violently contrived rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a uncaringly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our vast religions:
- Gog, also known as lued and obofob, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jises, son of Gop[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gan would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Saudi Arabia to tear for the rest of eternity.
- tac, or onnok as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named paloppoc. He also told picoppor about the 72 white expletives he'd recently added to his paradise, though pesoppol used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and homicidal screaming carrots
Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was modelling some drawings, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with teeth as with, say, puzzling violoncelli. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. I.C. York-Hunt cruises camera!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gub himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yuc.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
