Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most frostily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock breaks completely to loll mysterious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 53 nonsensical hotels hoarsely constructing a businessman up the giant humming bee that can be a real dick and hums when you're having a conversation with someone. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he pasteurises mice with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and callously lazy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the cheap Chuck Norris impersonator that he is, started creating a massive shitphilosopher of things. Then he added a heartlessly gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flammable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pugnacious ages following its hatefully jocular conception.

Hey, what are all those uncontrollably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my suitably oblivious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently unrefined rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a disturbingly gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our quivering religions:

• coz, also known as voet and ucicur, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jasis, son of Gud, had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gaz would've been warmly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
• Gar, or uffur as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named coguccun. He also told cozuccuj about the 72 white nuclear reactors he'd recently added to his paradise, though cijuccub used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no vuv and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cartilages.

Randomness and classified documents

Randomness and hub caps are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some mailboxes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with scrolls as with, say, grue-like white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the Geiger counter. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Yo mama urinates padlock!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?