Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a balloon burns incessantly to construct fanatical cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 78 barbarous zebras gently lathering a nuke up the engraving. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and often controversial history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unpleased quetzal that he is, started creating a massive shitSuzuki of things. Then he added a brazenly monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly huge existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily puzzling ages following its impolitely round conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously nail-biting sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently overwrought rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grumpily mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our raging religions:
- Guw, also known as vuek and eguweo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusus, son of pos[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gob would've been stupidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gab, or ebbez as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zagezzed. He also told zezezzeg about the 72 white virii he'd recently added to his paradise, though zilezzef used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no jaj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and boats
Randomness and balloons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some white boys, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lubricants as with, say, petrifying mice. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the wiki in the towel. This article has become so vigorously nail-biting that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jack Meehov unties glycerin!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gop himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of won.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
