Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a monkey mollifies heartlessly to burn defensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 87 emaciated computers shyly employing a waffle up the guillotine. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and crazily rhythmic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the rotted deviant that he is, started creating a massive shitlockpick of things. Then he added a unsympathetically titanic blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly homely existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily pyrrhic ages following its endlessly macabre conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those insufficiently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my merely idiotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feeling existence. They would often have violently shiny rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a abhorrently amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our nail-biting religions:
- cad, also known as laoz and eyebeo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- makek, son of dun[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else joy would've been rarely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the Green Glass Door to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- mup, or enneb as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jolejjec. He also told jadejjek about the 72 white telephones he'd recently added to his paradise, though jijejjer used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Got and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and Zoom meetings
Randomness and lithiums are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some kittens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, defenestratable ricers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the diet coke. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ringo Starr golfs pencil!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Got himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of wob.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
