Randomness

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a virus deconstructs often to baste cut-rate cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 46 quick diet pills gratefully litigating a Swiss cheese up the alligator. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and brutally gay history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the heterosexual home theater system that he is, started creating a massive shitextension cord of things. Then he added a rabidly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly erect existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily nefarious ages following its insufficiently emancipated conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those sadistically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my barely congruent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently purple rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a neurotically titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our scanty religions:
- vov, also known as feow and iwubib, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jises, son of rak[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else nak would've been lackadaisically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- val, or irrit as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yuziyyid. He also told yojiyyiw about the 72 white cadavers he'd recently added to his paradise, though yutiyyib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gol and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Randomness and etchings
Randomness and diet pills are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some classified documents, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tomatoes as with, say, obscure pastries. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the guillotine in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jules Verne quantifies lawnmower!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Random UFO Sighting In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Please report this on this page's talk page. Thanks for the reporting.Template:A/RPrepare for probing. |
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zat himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of rac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.