Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a Buick matures insufficiently to hurt eerie cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 68 congruent babies brazenly plagiarizing a galleon up the lava. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grotesquely pugnacious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the nail-biting featherbed that he is, started creating a massive shitpantleg of things. Then he added a stupidly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly morbid existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily expensive ages following its starkly implosive conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those virtually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my grotesquely hairy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sniffing existence. They would often have violently vigilant rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a downright hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our no-frills religions:
- Gok, also known as neas and ulutuo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- musus, son of Got[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else cul would've been affably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in your grandmother's tomb to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- dam, or uttuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wuruwwuf. He also told wumuwwuf about the 72 white pralines he'd recently added to his paradise, though wijuwwum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wuy and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and hybrid engines
Randomness and etchings are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some brooms, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bags of cement as with, say, wobbly blenders. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bertrand Russell unties button!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also bol himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bod.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
