User talk:Lollipop/archive 7

And so, Chapter Six has began

It makes the mind wonder what adventures we'll have in this chapter. I wonder if anyone reads any of the archives (they're up there you know). -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:22, 15 July 2011

Help with Sigs

No. Thank's for the help with my sigs, but..erm...you missed some valuable information...lol. Take a look at my specs for User:Aimsplode/sig2 again....then, get back to me. Mhm....→ L A B O R A T O R I E S 20:58, July 15, 2011 (UTC)

Okay. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:35, 15 July 2011

Hello? → L A B O R A T O R I E S 15:32, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

ALERT!!!!! Don't edit anything. I spent my time and did it myself....^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)}

How do you like it? ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 16:13, July 17, 2011 (UTC) I do notice that there is a problem of where the date is/goes, if you could explain to me kindly how to fix that...

Sorry, too slow. I did it myself...^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 22:28, July 17, 2011 (UTC)

Oh fuck no not again

Another talkpage drought? Fuck.... -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:58, 18 July 2011

Actually, leaving yourself messages on your own talkpage is verrrrrrrry intriguing. I could get a paper published in one of those loonie psychiatric journals. So, tell me, do you talk to yourself often? And do you reply? Are the questions and replies using different voices? Ever had a full blown argument, then gone for days refusing to speak to yourself? =) ~ T. (talk) 19:17, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

You should of seen what happened last time. Roll the clip, boys! -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:25, 18 July 2011

(Australian history nature guy voice) "And now, this is a rare talkpage drought in it's natural habitat, a talk page who's archives are not linked to it. Today, it's prey is an unsuspecting user named Lollipop, who had the radical idea to not link multiple archives to the current talk page...". ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 19:35, July 18, 2011 (UTC)

Dude, there's archives. Can you see them? Look at the top template, there's a mini scroll down thingy. I stole that template from YTTE. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:37, 18 July 2011

That thing

Oh, not the thing again. Whatever. About you thinking I nom'd myself for your award....which one am I (or you think I am?) And btw...is Lollipop a new account, or did you change your name...and if so, how? I've been on the Uncyc since the 25th of July, 2010, which means in 7 days it will be my 1-year anniversary. I won't be on till' tomorrow, so reply quick. ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 00:05, July 19, 2011 (UTC) Seeya.

I didn't like how things were going as Maniac mcpee. So I consulted ChiefjusticeDS and PuppyOnTheRadio, and they liked the idea. I could of asked Sansse to change my name, but at that time, I wanted a new account. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 00:23, 19 July 2011

Oh, ok. (Pss dont let anyone know your mcpee LOL). No I dodn't remember signing up for an award: I've had this same name since I joined. ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 14:30, July 20, 2011 (UTC)

Everyone knows already. They knew about the name change since I did it. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:30, 20 July 2011

The UnSignpost: Avoid all contact with eyes.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!

July 21st, 2011 • Issue 130 • Are you flirting with me?

Voting (again) Senseless rambling by ChiefjusticeDS So as we approach the end of the month the monthly award competition should really be heating up and showing us all the great expanses of talent of which Uncyclopedia can rightfully boast. We are pleased to report that this is exactly what has happened; the awards pages are packed with votes and edit summaries complaining of edit conflicts while voting, or at least they would be... IF WE LIVED IN OPPOSITE WORLD! In reality visiting an awards page feels rather like trekking around Chernobyl, sans Ukranian soldier who refuses to take pictures of you in front of all the landmarks; strange mutated beings (nominees) stagger out of the shadows begging for just one vote. However they await in vain as it would appear that all of you have forgotten that voting is actually the most fun you can have on Uncyclopedia, especially with your clothes off. One need only survey the lesser awards like Author of the Month and Potatochopper of the Month to see that this is clearly an issue in need of resolution. Dr. Skullthumper had this to say of the voting problem: "How so, where?" so we can all be assured that it is at the top of his to-do list of urgent issues to be resolved. The UnSignpost would like to be the first to recommend a solution; we suggest that we hit the award pages hard and fast with a major leafleting campaign, which when followed up with a proposal to propose a discussion on the issue of awards pages with few votes to be considered at some hypothetical point in the near to distant future by a committee of individuals elected through two junior sub-committees, will be a considerable force to be reckoned with. Since investigation is rumoured to be a part of the remit of the UnSignpost we outfitted several of our fearless reporters with pens and paper and sent them to find out what you think. Our first call was to the home of <insert name here> who, may we say, could do with mowing his lawn once in a while, and putting some clothes on before dancing to Blondie in the front room. "I was actually just going to vote on all the awards, no worries guys" said <insert name here> and we can only hope that <insert name here> does exactly that, since liars are regularly incarcerated on Zombiebaron's prison island, where the piteous cries of "No Zombiebaron here?" never stop. To update on the awards that have amassed some votes Noob of the Month, Uncyclopedia's favourite award, is exceptionally close this month with one candidate having assailed the dizzying heights of 4 votes and his nearest competitor tailing him at the similarly disorientating altitude of 3 votes. Uncyclopedian of the Month is a Frosty appreciation party and he leads his nearest competitor by 8 votes. Writer of the Month is a much more subdued affair with Mattsnow leading the pack with a massive three votes. The obvious resolution to this and indeed all problems on Uncyclopedia is that we all start voting as much as humanly possible, I'm going to go and do it right now; <insert name here> promised he would and I am inspired by his example, we hope you will be too. Football Uninformed rambling by ChiefjusticeDS It's American Football Season! Or so we are reliably informed on this forum by Guildensternenstein. The news is obviously that fantasy football is about to start again, for those of you who don't know how it works you are probably best to look it up on wikipedia or something because we here at the UnSignpost haven't a clue. Guildy has said "I need a minimum of 6 guys" and he would like about 12 people to sign up for fantasy football as well. The UnSignpost would also like to extend the offer of the post of "Pretend Sports Correspondent" to someone who can, occasionally, keep the expectant world up to date on the goings on in the league. If you want to participate then you had better sign up soon as there are only about three places left at the time of going to press, a working knowledge of American Football is not essential, just ask Neox and the "Well-Dressed Pickles" who managed to go the entirety of last season without winning or editing the line up, despite it containing six of the worst players in the entire league. Anyone interested in reporting on the fantasy football should submit a report to the press room from where, after some minor editing, we will place it into the next issue and claim it as our own.

Check out these pages! Extravaganza Bradaphraser Still not dead Lol whatever From our logs: 01:30, July 20, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Fnoodle (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (stealing admins' jobs. he's like one of them whatchacallits..... mexicans!) 18:50, July 19, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Mattsnow (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 500 seconds ‎ (Doing what I asked people to do in the UnSignpost; this means he read it before Thursday, this is tantamount to pissing in my face.) 08:31, July 19, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.17.151.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Theres a party in my pants. But you aren't invited....) 18:10, July 18, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Wanting to be an admin) 20:52, July 14, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Colin "All your base" Heaney (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (too gullible to live) 20:53, July 14, 2011 Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) resurrected Colin "All your base" Heaney (Talk | contribs) ‎ (too rare to die) Biopic of the Week Mattsnow should have seen this coming, he should have known that a biopic is the result of hard work, diligence and sincerity... However in his case we have made an exception. For those of you who don't know Mattsnow was noob of the month two months ago which just goes to show that we really do just give it out to anyone. He has written several featured articles; just goes to show that VFH should probably be renamed Bribe for Highlight. He has done pee reviews too and I'm told those are quite good, needless to say I don't believe that, it just goes to show that Pee Review standards have really fallen since my day. We beg of you not to vote Mattsnow in Writer of the Month this month, remember a vote for Mattsnow is a vote for so-called "quality" and "humour". Unacceptable. Go on, speak to him if you want but don't come crying to us when he's as nice as everyone says he is. Newsroom UnTune of the week I Love You Cajek ban smackdown of the week! 11:45, July 15, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 12.3456789 seconds ‎ (For not being around enough.) 15:32, July 15, 2011 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 07.152011 seconds () ‎ (July 15: International "Ban Cajek" Day celebrations) 19:30, July 15, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 seconds ‎ (international ban Cajek day, you say?)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

I do read your archives resumé :D

Mattsnow 16:12, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Which ones? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:13, 21 July 2011

Yo dawg

"Step 1) If it's your own article, don't"

Just for future ref. Wait for someone else who regularly checks the articles (Humbucker, e|m|c, anyone else who'd bother to do it) to do it first, or if you're really itching to get it up there, whore it to them on the IRC. Stay out of trouble now! -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:33, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

That rule doesn't apply anymore, though. Ape's article remains on the template despite the reverts of many active admins, meaning that anyone's UnNews article is free to go on the template. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:35 Jul 21, 2011

TheHumbucker said it was okay. And Skully did. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 21:40, 21 July 2011

Aight that's fine then. Just make that clear in a summary or a link or something or whatever. Also Ape's name don't mean shit to me *shoots Marlo in the shoulder*. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:41, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Hello

Hi Lollipop, Another n00b here just to give another friendly reminder that I still have 8 proxies you'll never find! - 66.90.104.57 03:14, July 24, 2011 (UTC)

Can you give me a hint where they are? -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 03:20, 24 July 2011

66.90.104.57 IS AN IMPOSTER!! A FAKER!! Michael Horowitz!! Don't listen to him. Please just take a look at Forum:Please read: A personal message to uncyclopedia‎‎. Thank you. - The REAL Another_n00b 17:36, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

Hey

Is the Illogicopedia article suitably improved such an extent it can be removed from the forest fire list? Cheers. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 11:31, July 25, 2011 (UTC)

It's fine now. It's suitable for a removin'. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:17, 25 July 2011

Yay, success! Now to get it featured :P -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 11:49, July 27, 2011 (UTC)

Hello Strangest of the Strangers

Hi! Long time no type to a disembodied Lollipop. Hope all is well. God, this Forest Fire Week thing looks horrible! Things will be destroyed like no other time. Can you please remove "99 Red Balloon Brigade" or whatever it's name is? I did some good work on that and will cry for hours if it is gone. My mom was in the Red Balloon brigade, and met my father there. Thanks. And I hope to be back at some point, but when??????? I dunno. Aleister 17:46 27-7-'11

Ah, well, I couldn't say no to Aleister. And my sister's dog's friend's owner's cousin's grandfather's nephew's cat's son's owner's best friend was in the Red Baloon brigade too. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 20:15, 27 July 2011

If you said that in a Latin/Romance language it would go The best friend of the owner of the son of the cat of the nephew of the grandfather of the cousin of the owner of the friend of the dog of my sister was in the red brigage :) --ShabiDOO 20:48, July 27, 2011 (UTC)

More class than 9000 schools: It's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Good things come to those who wait. So does the UnSignpost.

July 28th, 2011 • Issue 131 • Happy Thursday

Forest Fire Spreads, Users Divided By Chief Now when it comes to deleting crap articles everybody on Uncyclopedia is on the same side, with the possible exception of Jupiterfox. We want crap articles out in order that we can effectively breed a wiki fit for kings and whoever else might stumble by. It is in the name of pruning the grand bush of humour that Forest Fire Week (or FFW if you are on a tight schedule) has come to be once again. For those of you who have been living under rocks on the surface of Saturn with only the UnSignpost to provide you with news Forest Fire Week involves tagging articles with a tag (duh) and then deleting them after seven days no matter what anyone else says. Such is the attraction of sending articles into the great infinite that there is a scoreboard on the forum detailing which of the Schutzstaffel participating users has captured the most deviant articles. The amount of tagging is truly tremendous with about 7% of all Uncyclopedia's articles winning themselves a tag. The scoreboard for most articles saved from Forest Fire Week tags is somewhat more subdued with Shabidoo leading the way having saved three, and Thekillerfroggy and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user following along behind having saved 1.5 and 0.5 articles respectively. Those of you looking for a bit of a hoot will not be disappointed to learn that the whole forum is a bit of a giggle as some users sit and sulk because they hate Forest Fire Week but feel too polite to tell anybody. Nobody will be surprised to learn that this is yet another brainwave from Uncyclopedia's head innovator Dr. Skullthumper who has a vision for Uncyclopedia and it is an Uncyclopedia that remains aerodynamic at high speeds due to the lack of poor articles attached to it. As always the UnSignpost has foregone actually speaking to him, mostly because we don't want our archives to be burned to the ground in the name of quality control. But just remember the good doctor is convinced "Our ancestors would not be proud of us" so we must be going right somewhere. Forest Fire Week ends on the very day that this splendid periodical has been delivered to you; users are instructed to return to their caves and await Dr. Skullthumper's next brain fart, it won't take long, it'll probably be recommending some kind of cyber upgrade for your brain that will turn us all into Cybermen. Then Doctor Who will have to murder everyone with plastic explosive, before having a final showdown with Dr. Skullthumper as he attempts to escape the exploding factory in his personal Zeppelin. It could happen. Users Return. Everything is Ruined. By Chief So you've been away from Uncyclopedia for a while, doing.... the garden. After a while you sit down and say "Hey my life is pretty average at the moment; I've finally managed to fit 17 crayons into a single nostril. I'll swing by past Uncyclopedia and all the freaky losers there!". So you do and everything has changed, what was right is now wrong that which once wore parachute pants... continues to wear parachute pants. Yes it seems Uncyclopedia isn't what it used to be as literally two users have reappeared to inform us that everything has gone wrong all of a sudden. Yes you should all be ashamed of the mess every single one of you have made of their favourite pages. There isn't really a point to this story, it is more a public service announcement. The other point of this story is to inform you all that our principal editor will be unable to write any news next week due to the impending arrival of several "friends" wishing to discuss some of his unfortunate financial liabilities. The UnSignpost therefore requires somebody to write the whole thing next week, attend the tedious meetings and... well that's pretty much it. If interested you should simply write the UnSignpost, it's easy; help us manage an issue every week for an entire year. It beats having real life goals.

Check out these pages! Do we? Name Game Uncyclopedia Unacceptable Most Visited Summer Extravaganza From our logs: 08:31, July 23, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 195.188.227.42 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Removing content from pages: That's so unoriginal I don't even have to type it out, it's on a drop down list; you sir are about as original as the next fifa game, i.e. not at all. IT'S JUST FOOTBALL DAMMIT!) 04:45, July 24, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 66.90.104.57 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite () ‎ (You must be this "piece of shit who eats pieces of his own shit" i hear so much about) 23:16, July 25, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.100.64.227 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Don't kill the nazis, please.) 12:59, July 26, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 71.134.147.97 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You seem to be doing something wrong, seeing as I'm banning you. You figure it out, I'm too lazy.) 04:36, July 27, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked TheHappySpaceman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Make better nominations. Also, times new roman??? geez what did you go to private school or something) 09:35, July 24, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Mikefish (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Masterfully done sir, to top it off perhaps you would like to try dangling your genitals in boiling water, it's great!) Biopic of the Week “I can't let you edit that Dave” ~ Fnoodle Well the UnSignpost has already done a biopic on Fnoodle but at the risk of constantly talking about Dr. Skullthumper and his freaky freakness, we are going to do it again now. The reason for this because alongside a whole host of pointless things you don't want to know about, Fnoodle now also delivers the UnSignpost, bans people and deletes articles. This is a splendid outcome, if you want to live in a Terminator film, shortly we will hand over too much power to Fnoodle, he will become self-aware and we will have to live in sewers to escape his humour purges. This of course is all part of the plan to have the wiki run not by humans who just moan about everything and clog up recent changes with new articles and voting, but by a race of sentient machines. So beware he of the daft username, he knows not what he does... well not at the moment anyway. Newsroom UnTune of the week I'm Ready To Bowl Right Now

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:12, July 28, 2011 (UTC)

Work in progress

I'm still screwing around with your archiveheader to make it even more awesome. Either way, it's still be editied, not done yet. Also, please spread the word more about the Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza! Only 3 days left to register! ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 01:16, July 29, 2011 (UTC)

Any chance you want to trade?

I have the #1 pick this year, and am looking to move back. Would you like to trade draft position throughout the entire draft (I get all of your picks, you get all of mine.)? You could get whichever player you wanted if you did. Just let me know ASAP. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 04:59, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

You are winner

	Fag of the Month  July 2011

~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 07:44, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

You're a girl

Because I say so. If you don't accept it, the rest of Uncyclopedia will vote against you. ^{→ (Der_Führerbunker--Wehrmacht Factories)} 13:13, August 1, 2011 (UTC)

I am not a girl. How dare you call me one! You deserve a spanking. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 23:18, 1 August 2011

Fantasy Football

Hi Pop, Your turn mAttlobster. (hello) 18:28, August 3, 2011 (UTC)

Don't forget to make your pick. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:24, August 4, 2011 (UTC)

Meh, I quit. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 02:34, 4 August 2011

Things that about me and you,nope ist just me

hey i was just wondering if you want to adopt me on behalf of my freedom but first see my talk--04:20, August 4, 2011 (UTC)user:UNmarine777

I surrender!You won!My days of being free are over!Just don't shoot!Please!

Willingly. Welcome aboard, UNmarine777. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 04:45, 4 August 2011

hey loli you want to join my news station,I need lots of people.Please ,what would jesus do? Oh and are you good with templates?-- 05:32, August 4, 2011 (UTC)User:UNmarine777

Why do you need your news station, we have UnNews. Also, yes,i'm good with templates. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:36, 4 August 2011

It's my own news station and it cost me $500,000 to make that news station,nevermind that but what is are first objective and when is that?MasterBuddy(P.s should I be scared of you?)-- 22:05, August 4, 2011 (UTC)user:UNmarine777

Unless it actually is a real life news station, don't do it. And call me buddy, or Lolli. And yes, you should be scared of me. :) -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 22:29, 4 August 2011

I was thinking about some ideas for my sig,But I want to see what you got for me.Adolf Hitler Buddy(And I noticed that I got an award).-- 03:56, August 6, 2011 (UTC)User:UNmarine777

And hey can you help me on that Ahgee article.Please!Oh and sorry for whoring up your talk.-- 04:07, August 6, 2011 (UTC)User:UNmarine777

Please use the minor edit button and the preview button. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 06:32, 6 August 2011

Also, you didn't win an award; you're nominated for the award. And the award isnt a good award, it's the Useless Gobshite of the Month award. It ruins your reputation. Trust me, I won it in May. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 06:34, 6 August 2011

Hey,Loli?-- 05:38, August 11, 2011/2134 (UTC)UNmarine777

You really need to learn how to use a signature. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 16:01, 16 August 2011

Loli your back where you been at this whole time!--UNmarine777 04:58, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

Hey Loli,sense you own me know lets work on an article.Maybe Modern Warfare 4 or something.If you agree,see Special:mytalk is on 24/7/365.--UNmarine777 22:50, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

I don't have the time to collaborate, but if you need help, i'll help out. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 4 September 2011, at 05:46

When are you open for collaboration?And what article do you want to do?It can be mmines,yours,or mine and yours or some other crap.--UNmarine777 19:09, September 4, 2011 (UTC)

I am a bit busy nowadays, so I really don't have time to be collaborating (unless it's contests). Also, just mentioning that Special:mytalk dosen't link to your talkpage, User talk:UNmarine777 links to it. Cheers. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 6 September 2011, at 20:16

Oops sorry about that loli,I was just in a rush.But if you have time for your adoptee send me a message.Just one thing sense you don't have lots of time (like anyone does now and days),can you review my HowTo:Disable a Tsar Bomba its on the Pee as of right now.anyways nice userpage! -- 04:40, September 7, 2011/3454 (UTC) <user UNmarine777 is blocked for 9999 days User:UNmarine777 You Just Got banned motherfucker

Hey loli I just want to ask a question.I was just checking USERNAME template abuse and I went to the talk and I noticed that the comments are from 2007.I was didn't even know about Uncyclopedia at the time.Why is that?--UNmarine777 03:08, September 10, 2011 (UTC)

You know the {{USERNAME}} template? It shows the user's name. So if I typed in {{USERNAME}}, it would say Lollipop, but for you it would say UNmarine777. And Uncyclopedia's been around since 2005, by the way. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 10 September 2011, at 03:24

Loli check your Youtube channel.=)--UNmarine777 04:59, September 10, 2011 (UTC)

Heh. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 10 September 2011, at 05:18

ChiefjusticeDS is a lazy sod and has paid the ultimate price... an UnSignpost Coup

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH

August 6th, 2011 • Issue 132 • Happy Thursday Saturday

Abandon Ship. Uncyclopedia is sinking. By Frosty Perhaps the very reason why am I writing the UnSignpost for you this week and that it is unforgivably two days late will be the main topic for this weeks top story. And that is that quite simply, everybody is leaving Uncyclopedia. Many of our long time users (If you haven't left yourself!) agree that it was Mordillo that started that unfortunate trend way back in March of this year. Of course everyone was saddened we paid our respects and moved on, nobody thought it would expand to the hip new trend it was become. Because quite frankly I personally believe most users are simply leaving us for the lulz. We were of course saddened as we watch MrN9000, SPIKE, Hyperbole, PuppyOnTheRadio, Under user, Todd Lyons, Lyrithya and our UnSignpost editor and many others whom are either not important enough or I simply forget to mention. Which brings us to the question as to why they are all leaving. Whether its because they've finally got a life, a job and a girlfriend or their simply grumpy with us all doesn't matter. What really matters is you're still here which I am very thankful for <3. All hail your new UnSignpost editor. By Frosty Simply because nobody ever submits any story ideas or suggestions like you are supposed it leaves it up to the editor to improvise on the spot. Something which this re-leaving editor is really poor at. Instead he is going to simply whre about how is a better writer than the normal writer. He is better simply due to his profound ability to whore out two bullshit stories that any sane person could see a blatant attempt to fill empty white space. Partically true I guess. When I got appointed this task by This guy , I though what could I possibly write about? Forest Fire Week? VFS? How the beloved editor won three awards last month? Well quite simply telling the story of how I arrived at this thrilling yet totally stupid story seemed like the obvious alternative, and if you read this whole thing. Hail Frosty!

Check out these pages! Petition Uncyclopedia is the worst! Why we should ban Lollipop from making feature nominations. After the fire From our logs: 09:54, August 3, 2011 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (UnSignpost Rule of Bans: every issue contains at least 1 ban entry by ChiefjusticeDS - what a narcissist.) 01:00, August 2, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Sanns sock (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (HI SANNSE!) 09:13, July 31, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 months ‎ (See you later) 09:04, July 31, 2011 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 66.39.194.156 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (account creation disabled) ‎ (DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU) 00:49, August 2, 2011 Sannse (Talk | contribs) blocked UPjcm (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 minutes ‎ (Not being Zombiebaron: A volunteer bannee for testing! (thanks :)) Lollipop Lollipop demanded I mention him. Whore to him here.

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

More rubbish Australian Prose because ChiefjusticeDS got stabbed in the buttocks by a rioter with a felt-tip pen

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

August 11th, 2011 • Issue 133 • Stay Frosty!

And the burning continues By Frosty It is so blatantly obvious that this is the thing to to talk about at the moment, so whilst totally disregarding I may be risking talking about it too much, I give you the latest stats on FFW. Quite sadly I say that our article count as at all time low, if you'll refer to exhibit A on the right you will see where I predict Uncyclopedia will eventually sink. I asked resident vandal admin Dr. Skullthumper about why he instated this controversial act to delete anything the viewer deems shit without a proper vote. He simple replied "Shutup, it's all in the name of progress or whatever that good side is also referred to as. Having a vote would take too long and I like taking shortcuts." You can hardly argue with his ideology and progress. But sadly he disappeared because he fears reprisal from those apposed to the idea. Perhaps the most strongly against the FFW proposal are Mhaille and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, who are both trying to frantically hack up article shortly after it gets deleted, but have both given up saying they are deleting too fast it's not fair! When I asked Mhaille why he was being so silly he put it down to the fact that he really hates Skullthumper, oh and his cat. So as we watch our article count gradually and then catastrophically spiral downwards think to yourself was the FFW a necessary idea? If in a couple of years down the track you find yourself actually having to emerge from your basement and get a job because Uncyclopedia has finally destroyed itself, at least you'll know exactly who to blame. Annual Uncyclopedia Summer Extravaganza! By Frosty This is perhaps a story I should included in the last UnSignpost but I was too busy whoring about my pro writing skillz and Chiefs absence. So my apologies to those in charge of what appears to be a pretty cool idea for a writing challenge! For those of you who don't follow the dump, this is a writing competition organized by the somewhat over the top and insane Joe9320, Aimsplode and until quite recently Shabidoo who appears to have vacated his seat as chairperson for the tournament. The participants are required to split into teams of three in which they are given a mere 16 days and 12 hours (Yes two weeks wasn't going to work), in which to write as many articles as they can on a summer based theme. Which is to say they will write about booze and sex but I guess the whole summer theme was just a cover for that. The articles are submitted for judging in which the winner will be the judges favorite I guess. To be honest I'm putting it down to the admin team to win simply because they can delete all other entries thus eliminating any competition, but hey that's just speculation. I really hope you're all having fun with the summer comp whilst I and all other southern hemisphere dwelling Uncyclopedians whilst we freeze in this winter, but hey that's what we get for being Australian! Having a riot in London By Chief Would anybody like a free television?

Check out these pages! Whoring It begins! Everyone likes this thingy too... The return of Benson. Because he's either dead or just hating us, the editor special: 08:23, August 7, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 257 seconds ‎ (Have a nice cup of mud to celebrate this, the latest of your non-achievements. Also cheers for doing the USP, I liked it because I was in it.) 17:22, August 7, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Human Nutsack (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Trying to archive my talk page for me.) 17:36, August 6, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Olipro (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (The first rule of the UnSignpost club is that you don't draw attention to my blatant whoring of my hilarious bans, incidentally, I'm putting this one in. Just try and stop me.) 09:35, July 24, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Mikefish (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Masterfully done sir, to top it off perhaps you would like to try dangling your genitals in boiling water, it's great!) Biopic of the Week Well he definitely should have seen this coming, so yes I am going to talk to you about the Uncyclopedian called PoopManPoop For those less important individuals PoopManPoop won noob of the month in June in an absolute landslide crushing all available competition in true Uncyclopedian fashion simply because his name made everybody giggle. Since then I regret to inform PMP hasn't been very active at all only popping in every few days at best to make a couple of edits and then vanish all over again. I speculate he may be a total IRCfag, which is to say he lives on #uncyclopedia as apposed to doing anything constructive, whilst he simple may have better things to do. UnSignpost words of the week Cephalectomy - Total removal of the brain. Yummy! Gozmesky - The act of impersonating a man from San Marino Nujpwi - The smell of soiled underwear. Zaackaus - Used muppet skin. Zeegoor - T-shirt of a rock group which you are now too embarrassed to wear in public. Daifinguator - A lover of silly words. Truefax

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:10, August 11, 2011 (UTC)

Lollipop

• ties lollipop to the side of a slick blind horse, hits horse on back with a skunk, the horse runs toward the ledge of a deep canyon* Joe the Ditchlurker 17:08 16-8-'11

*jumps off horse and pushes horse towards Aleister* *begins whipping horse with electric whip* -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:39, 16 August 2011

• horse instinctively kicks backwards, knocking Lollipop on his back causing him to accidently electric whip himself into unconsciousness. While unconscious, Lollipop is lickiddy split by horse's tongue, over and over. Onlookers point and laugh.* Face in the Crowd 17:45 17-8-'11

*Plane flies over the scene of the horse and Lollipop interreacting, bombs the scene, flies away.*

Does 'E-mail this user' work?

When I click it, it doesn't show anything.

I'm wondering if it is broken.

I'm not sure if here is appropriate place to post but do you know about it?

Jitaku 17:43, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

It dosen't work because you haven't confirmed your email. Go to your preferences, and in the email box type in your email. Check the box that says "Enable email from other users" and save. A confirmation email will be sent right away. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 18:13, 16 August 2011

Thank you for your reply!

Actually I did it and it says 'Your email address was authenticated on August 16, 2011 at 06:17. '. But when I click it, it shows completely blank page.

It is still an html document but between <body>and </body> is empty. I'm using IE without any addons. Thanks. Jitaku 18:41, August 16, 2011 (UTC)

• Lollipop steals Jitaku's email, fills it with spam and penis enlargers, runs away* Lollipop Jr. 18:52 16-8-'11

But that would ruin everything. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 19:41, 16 August 2011

SUMMER CONTEST: URGENT!

Apparently, we have about 60 hours as of this moment to write two articles! Any ideas? How about an UnNews? Or a sort of rambling first-person narrative about someone stuck in Texas for the summer (as I was two years ago)? :P -- Sir "TheSlyPony" Invariably certifiable. Rap sheet. [[::File:Sexy_twilight.jpeg|His shameless obsession.]] 00:13 August 17, 2011 (UTC)

Heya

If someone blanks their own page (article, review request, sometimes userpages, but that's fuzzier), we usually treat that as a request for deletion. If you see that, instead of reverting it, could you please put the page on qvfd so an admin can dispose of it properly, and maybe even drop a line by the author's talkpage letting them know what to use next time, instead of blanking it? Thanks. 1234 ~ 17:19, 17 August 2011

Entered your sig contest

Cheap attempt, I know, and with a cruddy reference to The Wizard of Oz, too, so I won't be mad if I don't win. But the good news is that it has subliminal messages!

And I also voted for you for Uncyclopedian of the Month. Happy? ~ 18:02, 08/17/2011

Now it only wants you gone; it's the UnSignpost!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...

August 18th, 2011 • Issue 134 • Have a Dumpling.

It's Kicking Off By Chief A little while ago, when the world was young and we were actually interviewing people instead of making up vaguely racist quotes, the UnSignpost ran a story on the #uncyclopedia IRC channel. At the time we could have raised issues about it being a wholly separate community where the rules of the site blur into a haze of... haziness, but we didn't; we were far too busy making jokes about penises and the abundance of jokes on the same to be found on IRC. Now, once again, IRC has been thrust into the limelight and a great deal of hand-wringing and swearing has inevitably been the consequence. Yes, this is the news that once again the cruel spectre of drama hovers above the wiki as Lyrithya has decided that there are several problems that need addressing. Number one: she would like a trip to Europe but doesn't have the disposable income, number 2: Uncyclopedia sucks , number 3: there are not enough forum topics about problem number two. She has set out to remedy the horrendous forum deficiency by creating two with deceptively enjoyable titles. The serious point to these forums revolves around the accountability of the administrators, which Lyrithya feels there is not enough of. The forum topics are the usual; huge blocks of text with no humorous comments about the Power Rangers anywhere in sight. It's all very sad and will probably end with someone leaving and vowing never to return. The other vitally important news is that Zombiebaron reports that the Forest Fire Week huffing has finished, a full two weeks after Forest Fire Week finished. When asked to comment on the less than speedy huffage of all these articles, Zombiebaron had this to say: "Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron! Zombiebaron?" which surprised us since we didn't even know he played the violin. Now all that we need to attend to are the thousands and thousands of broken redirects which MadMax spent countless hours creating to make everyone's lives easier. Now he has the honour of watching them be destroyed in the name of making the wiki better. Happy Thursday everyone. R.I.P Roman Dog Bird By Frosty It is with great sadness that we report that our long time friendly, disturbing, creepy, dirty, often autistic admin Roman Dog Bird has apparently left for some reason, a departure he announced with a rather dramatic yawn, a shame, as his ban reasons are probably the closest things to actual humour we have on Uncyclopedia. This reporter in particular found his often unjustified bannings of IPs, deletions of memorable pages and general disrespect for authority truly inspiring. On a side note, RAHB decided to return this week as part of a poorly concealed attempt to cover up the disappearance of another partially departed admin, Dr. Skullthumper. We would like to encourage all readers to welcome RAHB back by telling him how much Frank Zappa sucks on his talk page; apparently he likes that.

Check out these pages! This is all Zombiebaron's fault. Drama. More drama. Help the poor sucker out! From our logs: 00:13, August 14, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 minutes ‎ (Let's see if I still know how to joke ban...ummm....penis.) 09:16, August 14, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 109.121.74.29 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 Days ‎ (Ironic that you have a link to an IQ test, since you seem like a complete idiot) 02:40, July 4, 2011 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Skully made me op for 5 minutes to ban you HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) 12:48, August 15, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Frosty (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 432 seconds ‎ (Only I am permitted to whore my bans in the UnSignpost, it's safest for everyone that way.) 02:29, August 17, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked 165.228.227.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (a terminal case of faggot fever) Biopic of the Week Uncyclopedia get its fair share of users that come and go, as well as its fair share of users who simply turn into VFD lurkers and IRC In-jokes. As such, it is high time we discussed a certain user who fits both categories. Yes, it's Bizzeebeever's turn to be the subject of this week's biopic! Bizzeebever originally joined us in late June, and was quite a silly n00b, but like many, after being repeatedly hit in the head with a hammer he sort of grew up a bit began to earn his keep. Now he can be seen loitering around VFD and IRC clutching his head; it's okay, Bizzeebeever, we're done hurting you. For now. If you'd like to congratulate him on how far he's come, go ahead; just don't take a hammer or he'll probably run away. Birthday of the week ChiefjusticeDS's birthday was on Tuesday. He celebrated by getting hit in the head with a brick. FACTS! Did you know: ...that work is the curse of the drinking class? ...that sometimes violence is the answer, albeit a very violent one? ...that Frosty really needs to stop trying to edit the UnSignpost?

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, August 18, 2011 (UTC)

A LITTLE THING I HAVE NOTICED, ABOUT YOUR LAST RESPONSE to El-M(eteo)-o!

... You wanna make me a signature, then fine... But first... I need some info on that, so if you see this, talk to me on my own discussion page, fellow Canadian.

>>>Hey, you said you'd make me a new sig, where the hell is it? Just asking, would like some feedback... ...And if you need any more, than can we er, uh, at least talk on my discussion page? (especially, since there is very little there, esp. once I do my Holly-esque Spring Cleaning...)

...P.S; Oh, by the by, since I don't use my discussion page much, I probably didn't notice it; and even if I didn't give much of a shit about lime in the past, it's still a nifty treat, thanks, and by the way (by...), can we still chat on my channel, have some fun with that, I'm free for at least a week, but I can not REALLY make that many actual promises, so if you're willing, let me know, esp. since I posted this at the bottom of your page from memory (...as well as proof that I am not a MINDLESS ZOMBIE!!!)

...(ONE MORE THING, (User:Meteo), in case you didn't remember where the link to one of my hideouts is.

...*casual, and yet... uneasy thumbs up* – Preceding unsigned comment added by 24.17.234.42 (talk • contribs)

Maybe if you'd sign in, then i'd make you a sig. -- Lollipop - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 05:34, 27 August 2011

...Okay, I have signed in; come and talk to me again. -Meteo, (...I'm in now, come talk to me on my talk page, or something.)

Sure. Also, could you please sign your posts? -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 01:00

I need you to get on IRC

Please and thank you. -- 23:12, August 20, 2011 (UTC)

Wonko tiddlybum-post

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

August 25th, 2011 • Issue 135 • Pudding anyone?

Illogicopedia is stealing our ideas again By Athyria In an entirely precedented move, Illogicopedia has yet again stolen our proud Uncyclopedian traditions. Yes, they've finally done it, they've finally taken for their own everything that we at the UnSignpost proudly stood for, making a mockery of our fine establishment by starting up their own newspaper, the Illogicopedian Times. Or restarting, really; Readmesoon et all managed to put out a whole three issues in 2009 before getting arrested for snorting bumblebees or something, or whatever Illogicopedians do in their spare time, so technically the current is a continuation of that. But even more shocking than that, the Illogicpedia Times is doing well; after the announcement of its revival with the release of a dummy issue and a call for contributors, Illogicopedians have actually been contributing. Almost immediately two new issues were created; while these two were both a little too well-done for a proper ?pedian publication, the worst bits were merged into the first new issue, which has already been released to tremendous apathy on their end, and outrage on ours. But this was plural Illogicopedians, unlike the usually singular Uncyclopedian or two who invariably finds itself desperately floundering for topics to write about for our publications, and as we all know, nothing ever even happens on ?pedia, so how do they do it? What are we doing wrong? The answer, my friends, is nothing. We aren't doing anything wrong; they simply stole all our ideas and used those to write their own, and having not written any of their own in so long, they had all our back issues to comb. We suggest going to Readmesoon's talkpage and mocking him and the other editors thoroughly when they inevitably run out of said ideas to steal; it shouldn't take terribly long seeing as we never really had many to begin with. Meantime, perhaps we need more Zombiebaron. Please help me. By Zombiebaron Please help me. I am trapped in a well. It is very dark and cold down here. I was flying a kite and looking up at the sky when I fell down here by mistake. Please send me food. (To send food to Zombiebaron, please enclose all foods within a handmade envelope and address the envelope the P.O. Box 9912203288-402B at your local train station) Urinal issues By Lyrithya Due to a recent shortage of plumbers, some of the urinals in the men's restroom have been backing up. As such, we at the UnSignpost would like to urge all readers to tread carefully in there, and if possible, try to lend a hand in the clean up. More news to come as the situation becomes more dire.

Check out these pages! Jews If you've been following it... Won't anyone sign it! From our logs: 04:20, August 19, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Eblog.net (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (dicks2dicks@dicks.dicks) 20:55, August 20, 2011 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Uncyclopedia sucks hard (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (you suck hard. no, harder. harder than that. come onnnnn, give me more... jesus, is that the best you can do? no wonder your boyfriend won't talk to you.) 07:38, August 22, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked AssassinNips (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I love shit as much as the next guy. Sometimes I even like to use it in the shower in lieu of soap. But when you start getting into smelling it....you're just weird, man.) 11:40, August 21, 2011 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (If you come near me I'll rip your nipples off) 06:38, August 23, 2011 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.169.192.208 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I was only following orders) Uncyclopedia Birthday! Frosty would like you all to know that on the 27th, he will have completed his first year on Uncyclopedia. He seems to want gifts. He also seems to think he's the new UnSignpost editor, little realising that the old UnSignpost editor never left. Not the writer; that lovely fellow is currently on vacation. But his editor is still here and demands that Frosty either put on the leather chicken suit NOW and submit before her giant banana or... well, actually, he doesn't really have much choice in the matter. Poor dear. If only he'd known what he was getting into. Happy birthday? Not a threat. I seriously spent hours racking my brains trying to think of what to write for the damn UnSignpost! I mean I sat here full on thinking I wasn't going to get this all set for delivery on time. So I put this to you, as the new editor: “ Start sending in idea, or no UnSignpost next week! ” — Frosty

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~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

hi loli

i m UNmarine777 cousin and do u want to be friends.(Ps and can you help me a couple things along the way pretty please?)--Pudgy3601 03:00, August 25, 2011 (UTC)

Sure, i'll gladly adopt you. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 00:27

You on?

If so, do you have time to go on IRC? -- 01:21, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Still on as always. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 02:16

Re: The New Signature..

...Okay, good, and if you'll make me one, then can I go, and e-mail you just what to use for it? ((User:Meteo))

I can't make you one until you learn to sign with four tidles (~~~~). -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 02:53

...What I *DID* learn however, was to spot, and avoid trendies; anyway, what's your e-mail address? ((User:Meteo|Meteo))

I still don't see you signing your posts. You're putting ((User:Meteo|Meteo)). It should be [[User:Meteo|Meteo]]. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 19:15

...Take it easy, I'm used to wobbling around a bit, since I'm drunk a whole hellfuck of a lot of the time, I'll settle it here: Meteo. Anyway, what the fuck is your e-mail, if you do this fo rme, (someday), then you might need an iamge I've got.

I have a question. How can I make you a signature, for which you sign your posts in, when you are not even signing them with your default signature? Learn to use four tidles (~~~~), and i'll gladly make you one. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 19:29

...Look, el-buckaroo-o,it's not about learning this or that (...except for the half a dozen, or so, nthings I've learned in an accelerated process), the way I chose here, with you,was not to be trendi, and it made me work hard, and taught me how to manually input the code, both of which have benefited me greatly, and yeah; it took me a while, but sometimes that's just the way you gotta go. Anyway, here's me, doing well on multiple levels; and if you ever decide to give enough of a shit to make me a sig; you will need an image from me that you will quite (fuckin') likely need to get emailed to you. Are you willing to tell me that, and just give me an answer there, than I'll make the next move efficiently. ...Meteo

You just don't get it. Why should I give you a signature if you are not properly signing your posts? If you don't know how to feed the lambs, why bother feeding the sheep? -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 21:16

...Fuck that shit. YOU don't get it, it's not about knowing fucking shit; I already told you what I'VE done, program in the code manually, and work hard. Nothing about the damn tithes is relevent, take a look at the next sentence, as well as the others of mine here. Meteo, plus, sheep are a bad fucking example, they're constantly bre not to have free fucking' will, fuck em'. It's not about skill, it's about choice; and since, SINCE ACTIONS ARE *LOUDER* than words, here is the final action, here. Meteo

...Your move, matey.

All you have to do is use four tidles. Since that's such a hard task for you, how will you be able to use a custom signature when you can't use the normal ones? -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 23:07

...They're called "tithes", and that wasn't a hard task for me to begin with; I"m a scientist, and you're a creationist, you're not getting the fundamental mechanics of this. Here: I am getting this right: Meteo, and working hard, and working out how to input the code manually. You are the one who's "not getting it", simply because you don't get that it was NEVER HELLFUCKING about what I "do", or "don't know (or other semantics), it's about me aiming for different goals than you perceive. Here, you need to LOOK MORE CLOSELY. Meteo, <---It took me A WHILE to come up with that, but I did. that Hard Work was at least *Something*, and now I remember it more fondly? ...Also, what's this "so hard for me?", and where is it again, oh, right, YOU MISINTERPRETTED IT. I ALREADY *LEARNED* WHAT I NEEDED TO, and it *wasn't* your mythical "tithes", a strange, quaint symbol, from a faraway land.

...SINCE YOU NEED ME TO SHOW YOU...

Meteo (<---So, what kind of "not learning is this?", and B: At least try and see me for what I *Really* am, and not simply something you mispercieve and exaggerate; I'm just pointing this out; and you DIDN'T NOTICE when I finally *DID* get better at plunking down a signature, you somehow DIDN'T NOTICE, even when I kept plunking it down IN FRONT of you, you somehow didn't notice.

...Whatever, since you needed me to clear it up, I fuckin' did, and in addition to all that (on both sides), you didn't answer my question of whether or not you're willing to give me your e-mail, so something like that's not exactly what'll make you as pure as heavenly angel water on this one; this isn't about needing to learn some trendy/cute little in-joke, this is about a few honest questions from me; a whole bunch of misunderstandings, and you not noticing the times when I do get one of those new-fangeled ".sig" thingys right, thrrr.

...Try again, you sure stirred up the juices in that el-brain-o of el-mine-o, and that is at least... adequate... and... interesting...

...boy, it sure is a good thing that I'm good at batshit insane analogies, descriptions and analogies. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Meteo (talk • contribs)

Please...calm the fuck down. All you need to do is click after every post, and i'll make you a signature. It's that easy. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 01:08

...Mate, since you still don't know too much about me... I'll explain:

I was (mostly) calm aall along, I've just been explaining things, the few bits of "un-calm" I've experienced i've managed to:

            A: force it back (since I can control my emotions even better than I can handle my wiener;)
          &-B: Do, pretty much the whole fucking "chunky meat" of my posts were to explain things to you. And like it or not, whether you want to admit it (or don't...) or not, you caused it to get this nasty with misunderstandings; a primary source (and accelerator) of problems on the internet. (;)

...Anyay, now that I've explained things yet AGAIN, (I?)

                                                    I
                                                    I
                                                    V?)
                                             Meteo|Meteo  

...Your move.

What you don't realize is I read you loud and clear. However, you're still not signing your posts; and besides, you're starting to get on my nerves. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 01:40

...Uh the loud and clear part is *partially* true, and you still misunderstood me a jackload; I've still been signing;

LIKE, THIS ---> Meteo

...and even if I'm getting on your nerves; hey, you got on MY nerves first, and I took care of it calmly and silently, like I usually do, and if I got on your nerves, hey, I didn't mean it, and hey, your lollipop (.,.do I need to remind you of that?) was still delicious, even though lime isn't usually my thing, so even there, things actually aren't that bad; an' anywayz, I shall give you some room, since you probably need it; I'll leave and come back tomorrow or some shit, that oughta be a lot easier on you.

...clearly, I am QUITE used to this sort of thing.

You aren't signing your posts the proper way. I've already told you to either type --~~~~ or use . I keep telling you what to do. Giving a link to your name is not signing your posts. If you can't handle this, why should I make you a new one? In fact, it seems to me that you're too immature for your own sig. Most people ask nicely. If you're going to be rude and not follow my instructions, then you have no business on my talkpage. Hmm, I was being a bit rude there. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 02:37

...There's no such thing as "being" rude, you're just being a bigot on that one; and guess what; I carefully explained myself, so okay; if you're going to call that rude; then I can't stop you, and what about when you said you were sorry about our clash in April, did I bite your head off? No.

...And I simply explained things calmly to you, and the alternative would be simply unfair to you; (ie; expecting you to somehow automatically know what I'm thinking), so even when I was pissed off hours earlier, I held in my temper and explained things, it's you misunderstanding me, and I *already* explained it, whether or not you like it, it doesn't have to mean that you're stupid; you just can't be expected to automatically know me in one go, and at least don't hang me until you get to know me; I didn't try to hang you all-out when we tango'ed in April, and just like then, we conflicted over a misunderstanding; and that was what the poor bastards talking to us (Lyritha, those guys, etc) were most aware of; they told both of us to shut up, and I at least toned down (although it wasn't obvious...), and although I tried to just explain here, and try to avoid such a conflict, it seems it couldn't be avoided. Look, I already showed you --->MY SIGNATURE, Meteo, so whether or not you make me a sig; I really couldn't care, either way, what I have explained is the truth, whether or not you care to talk about it, and none of your hurt feelings is my fault; in spite of you saying that *I'm* the one who needs to calm down, you act like you're the one who is; my explanations can only not be *INTENDED* to be offensive, and whether or not you consider it to be offensive is *your* doing, like when parents attack Marilyn Manson, I'm sorry, I just intend to explain shit, and again, the alternatives would just be worse stuff, like me saying "haha FU", or expecting you to somehow act as if you knew me, and that's where the "TRUE" bullshit would lie; and I've avoided it, anything else "rude" is like the Boogeybigfoot and Dracula, it exists only in your mind.

...Sorry, and thanks again for the Lime Lollipop (...which is rude, much like anything else truthful... sorry for the unpleasant truth... :-( )

...And like I said, I'd leave AND come back, and that was to HELP YOU. ...How the A-Peefuck would that be considered rude?

,,,AN AMERICAN (...or Canadian... it's subjective...)

Typing your userlink isn't signing your posts. All you have to do is type ~~~~ and i'll make you the sig. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 05:33

adopting?

got a space? :) --Crankygrandmaz 03:13, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Yep. :) -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 03:18

can u adopt me? --Crankygrandmaz 03:37, August 28, 2011 (UTC)

Consider yourself adopted. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 28 August 2011, at 03:38

Just a little something I noticed about your sig

I think that the link for the roaring face at the beginning of your sig has a typo or something. Just click on it and you'll see what I mean. -- Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:38, August 29, 2011 (UTC)

I was trying to get the rollbacked users list. Instead, I instead put the users with the name "Rollback". Will fix that right away. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 02:33

Hey man

Doo doo doo doo, woah woah CANT TOUCH THIS, Doo doo doo doo, woah woah CANT TOUCH THIS, Doo doo doo doo, woah woah CANT TOUCH THIS, Doo doo doo doo, woah woah CANT TOUCH THIS!!! YOU CANT TOUCH THIS!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Puff! --ShabiDOO 21:09, August 29, 2011 (UTC)

Just a small town girl livin' in a lonely world took the midnight train going any-where! Just a city boy livin' in South Detroit, took the midnight train going any-where! -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 22:55

Uffffffffffffff...yeah...CANT TOUCH THIS! sha sha sha sha shaaaaaa ... YOU CANT TOUCH THIS! Awww. --ShabiDOO 22:57, August 29, 2011 (UTC)

*Lollipop touches this* -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 29 August 2011, at 22:58

We shot the hole-in-one, but you were the caddy!

It appears that you voted for Mini-golf, which ended up getting featured. Myself and Matthew Snowman would like to thank you from the bottom of our hearts (well... maybe somewhere around the middle, but you get what I mean) for carrying the club all the way to the front page. Hope your career as a caddy is long and prosperous. Thanks again. -- 03:00, August 31, 2011 (UTC)

Mailman's here! Lock up your daughters and horny middle-aged Wives!

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.

September 1st, 2011 • Issue 136 • Y is a loser.

Spambots! By Lollipop Recently, an evil army of spambots has laid siege to Uncyclopedia. While most users went on in blissful ignorance, the rollbacks loaded their guns, the admins loaded their cannons, and Sannse took one look and didn't load her checkuser. "You're overreacting," she would have said had anyone asked her, which they didn't. These spambots are known for their random edit summaries and their apparent praise of the wiki, apparent because they have been all too happy to spread the very same praise around other sites as well, the whores: "This really helped me, I know so much now," said one of the spambots when cornered by a bin of potatoes. It later said the exact same thing regarding a deleted page. As always, the UnSignpost urges all readers to confront these bots and tell them they're doing it wrong, that they are adopted and how their mothers never hugged them, as well as that their coding is deprecated and their owner runs them through Internet Explorer, losers. And for those of you who prefer the usual blah blah blah to stop them, that also remains an option. This is just plain Unacceptable! By Anselmo The Magnificent Drama. You never know where it's going to strike. You never know when it's going to strike. You never know how or why it's going to strike. And dare I say, there are times when you cannot be altogether very sure at all what it's going to strike. One thing is for certain, though; here at Uncyclopedia, we do a bloody poor job of it, and in the name of Klaus Nomi and his immaculate hair, we should all be ashamed! There are not enough bad things going on! Everywhere one looks it's another pathetic little pissing fight about something as insignificant as BUTT POOP!!!!, or a misdirected conservative whining about retards. Enough, I say! This is child's play! Gone are the glorious days of perpetual Uncyclopedia flame-wars, the legends such as Talk:Euroipods forever eluding the minds of today's generation of shit-raisers and stink-throwers! What of the glory that was NXWave, and his numerous sockpuppets? What of the majestic splendor of the great Aspie war? Uncyclopedians, you have disgraced your heritage! You have almost made this a pleasant place to reside! Do you realize that? This week I challenge you, oh alleged patrons of flamewars and troll-being, to take a look at yourselves, and you will soon realize that your true purpose has been eluding you for all of these years. It's time we stand up and yell! Scream! WHINE like you mean it! Whine like you whined on your first day of kindergarten when your mother drove away! Whine like a prom queen suddenly and unexpectedly drafted into the Armed Forces! Whine like your forefathers and their forefathers before them! CAUSE A STIR! CAUSE A REVOLUTION! CAUSE CHAOS! But most importantly....cause a drama. Thank you. Frosty wants to know how he's doing. By Not Frosty He's doing horribly. He is not a better editor than that other guy, who at least had the decency to bring me bribes of frappes and muffins.

Check out these pages! More ways to get rid of new users Whoring BUTT POOP!!!! SERIOUS BUSINESS From our logs: 08:54, August 28, 2011 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Inebriated (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 4 hours ‎ (HI DRUNK GUY! I'M ACTUALLY NOT dRUNK RIGHT NOW FOR A CHANGE. CAN YOU TELL?) 05:46, August 29, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 65.49.14.72 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Go rape your own children. Stay away from ours.) 10:44, August 27, 2011 MadMax (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.191.39.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right, Here I am, stuck in the middle with you...) 12:29, August 28, 2011 Sockpuppet of an unregistered user (Talk | contribs) blocked 59.100.20.207 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (We don't care about your sexual orientation.) 03:10, August 31, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked WTFak47MAN (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I really hate to do this because you're hilarious, man. But I also really love to do this, because fuck you.) Biopic of the Week Ah, biopic of the week, potentially the most controversial part of the UnSignpost simply for what it is, a section about users... and yet somehow, it never really stands up to the other sections; the users themselves are rarely so bad as what they do, and as such we are proud to announce that Aimsplode... is the exception to this? Nonetheless, he is our lucky subject for this week's biopic, who, after several long days of dredging up drama, insulting people, subsequently getting banned, going on IRC, annoying people, continuing to annoy people, and annoying Zombiebaron, subsequently got banned there, too, and finally settled down a bit. This was actually pretty impressive; the only unfortunate thing is that more people don't do this; if they did, the admins might have more to do and thus might stop being so cranky all the time. For shame, people! But kudos to Aimsplode, because you are indeed something special; we could use more of that. Birthday of the Week Lollipop celebrated his 1st year of Uncyclopedia on Tuesday. In honour of this prestigious event that has been on-going for the past two weeks, we at the UnSignpost are proud to present him with this block of poisoned cheese in an attempt to get him to stop talking about it already. Er, that is, enjoy your cheese!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:11, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

.

. —  (talk) (contributions) 00:35, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

UN:N -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 2 September 2011, at 00:36

aaaaa

Pay attention to IRC!!! —  (talk) (contributions) 02:20, September 2, 2011 (UTC)

IRC

I need you to get on it. -- 02:39, September 3, 2011 (UTC)

I'm on. You're not. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 3 September 2011, at 02:54

LOLLILILILILILILILLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPOP!

How are you? I had an adopted noob here who is interested in patrolling. I have no idea how that works cause I dont do it. Why don't you show Mnidaydwisww some stuff. CHEEERS! P,S, did you know that finger monkeys are the size of your finger nails when born and can grow upto the size of the palm of your hand? Its really true! --ShabiDOO 02:20, September 5, 2011 (UTC)

Well. Today I learned something new. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 5 September 2011, at 04:52

Shabidoo sent me here

Hi. Shabidoo said that if I was interested in patrolling, I should see you. See quotes here. —  (talk) (contributions) 02:22, September 5, 2011 (UTC)

First off, ask rcmurphy or another bureaucrat to make you a rollback; second, make sure you have the time and commitment to be a vandalslayer; third, always check the previous edit button to see the difference, if it's kind of funny, leave it, if it's plain stupid, revert it. Also, if you need help with it, you could ask me or Shabbie for help. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 5 September 2011, at 04:51

I have a question: What is a rollback? —  (talk) (contributions) 15:07, September 5, 2011 (UTC)

It's the lazy man's undo button; except it's faster and simpler. If you're really not sure what it is, maybe it's not for you. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 6 September 2011, at 20:14

Lollipop...thats maybe not the best way to teach a nOOb about stuff. Mnidaydwisww has no idea how this site works. If he/she isn't ready for the tool, then teach him/her how to do basic patrolling first to get the hang of it please. He/she seems eager to join the community and try stuff out. It would be a good idea to treat everything he/she says as good faith. --ShabiDOO 16:36, September 7, 2011 (UTC)

This UnSignpost brought to you by... uh... fairy dust? Hmm, we seem to have run out of sponsors.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

September 8th, 2011 • Issue 137 • This is still going? How?

New urinals to be installed By Athyria As you are no doubt aware, having been following the UnSignpost religiously like every good Uncyclopedian does, we recently reported on the decrepit state of the Uncyclopedian urinals. In the weeks since, the lavatories have been undergoing repairs following an in-depth investigation into the matter conducted out of sheer paranoia. It would seem this paranoia was warranted, however, because the entire messy affair was apparently caused by some idiot getting the bright idea to pour a vat of rubber cement down a broken toilet. If you have any information that might lead to the identity of the culprit, please, report it to the authorities. A forum has also been created to aid in the cleanup; if you would like to aid in the efforts, or would simply prefer to point and laugh at your smelly peers as they help install new urinals, that would be the place to go. This is just plain acceptable. By Anselmo The Magnificent Greetings, Uncyclopedians. You may remember me from our previous issue, in which I mercilessly berated the lot of you for being a pathetic bunch of whiny losers who wouldn't know a good drama if it bit them on the nose. Beating the ever-loving shit out of your self-respect, I then left you with a challenge. To "most importantly, cause a drama." Within the past week, you've really shown me something. Congratulations are in order! Rejoice, Uncyclopedia! For you have not only caused a drama, you have in fact become The Drama! Your armpits reek of the glorious B.O. of internet drama, and that reek is really getting me off! Fear no more, for as long as thine hearts remain impure, and your bellies full of Mountain Dew, you shall never stray off the path of utter boorish piss-fighting again! I will make sure of that, watching over your future endeavors of pointlessness like a guardian magical angel with a funny Irish hat. You deserve it. You have reached the very top of the mountain, like some flaming golden eagle, majestically flying across the sky, shitting all over everything in its path...majestically. Don't listen to what your detractors say. Your constant bickering is UNITING the very country of Uncyclopedia, like some sort of annoying super glue that causes a rash if it comes into contact with human skin. You should be proud! You should be elated! You should be madly stroking yourself off at the very prospect of being the very best dramanator the world has ever seen!! But seriously, you can stop it now. Wikimedia Commons is as horrible as us. By Lyrithya While this should come as no surprise to those of you immersed in the affairs of Wikimedia, assuming there are any of you immersed in that, we at the UnSignpost recently found ourselves quite horrified (and strangely aroused) by the images to be found on Wikimedia's servers after an anonymous source informed us of what currently qualifies as a feature. Specifically, yaoi porn. While for the sake of all our manhood we probably shouldn't repeat the URL here, for the sake of all our women and our gays, we're going to link it anyway. Enjoy, ladies. And gays. For the rest of you, however, there is a very important lesson to be realised from this: our own situation here on Uncyclopedia really isn't all that bad. Sure, we've been featuring an unusual amount of articles explicitly about the male member this week (unlike the more typical ones implicitly about it), but none of them were quite this explicit, were they? No, really, were they? We didn't actually read any of them on account of being too busy researching this other matter for the sake of you lot. We do this all for you! It's all for you! Hello?

Check out these pages! Look! Look at me! Look at her! Look at them! Look at this! From our logs: 10:03, September 1, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.141.58.184 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (This block is only one week long, because blanking VFS took some serious balls. Or, to be more accurate, some serious big hairy penis.) 10:18, September 2, 2011 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 178.18.131.234 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (You always make my night, wang-vandal. I just can't be angry when I see your characteristic smiley :D) 04:12, September 3, 2011 Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Rcmurphy (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 30 minutes ‎ (Posting in a Users Only forum. Abuse of powers! (dont worry this isnt autoblocked)) 08:19, September 3, 2011 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) resurrected Frosty (Talk | contribs) ‎ (Would you believe I was trying to ban an IP and I pressed the wrong ban button on recent changes?) 14:50, September 5, 2011 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.10.100.33 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (fuck the fuck off) Biopic of the Week Ah, what can be said about Klaus Nomi Wearing An Irish Hat? While one of the greatest German countertenors of our time, or any, what Klaus is probably most well known for in the modern age is his disturbing propensity for being present at the scene of any and all crimes, as though he were omnipresent. Over the years, this has become an understood facet of society, and most of the time he can now be easily ignored as if he were never there in the first place. This is not entirely difficult to do, considering the fact that every time he shows up at a shooting, robbery, yard sale massacre, etc., he only finds it necessary to stand completely and absolutely still whilst observing the ongoing madness, occasionally taking the time to put on a silly Irish hat and dance a disturbing and disruptive jig before snapping back to his typical demeanor. While this makes Klaus an incredibly creepy person to be around, and we at Uncyclopedia typically use it as a regular excuse to exclude him from the annual Christmas party and Casual Fridays, we're still happy to have him, nonetheless. You go, Klaus! Cat of the Week This is Terumvra. He's very scary. I found him eating my plants and now he won't go away and he's been holding me hostage! Help!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 01:11, September 8, 2011 (UTC)

Move

Why did you move that page back? It has nothing to do with "Encyclopedia Dramatica" in its current state. Every person mentioned in the page has moved to Ohinternet, a superior web entity. Unless you want to write about miscreants such as "Meepsheep" and "Garrett", I advise it be moved back. Outstanding citizen 02:08, September 12, 2011 (UTC)

Because the article isn't about Oh Internet. Other than having the same creator, they're two different websites. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 12 September 2011, at 02:23