User:Willy on wheels/Main Page
From today's featured article
Curious George is the protagonist in a series of popular children's books by the same name, written by Hans Aloveryer and his wife Bernard. The books feature a bi-curious chimpanzee named George, who is brought from his home in Africa by The Man With The PVC Gimp Mask to live with him in his cellar.
Although in the illustrations George does not correspond exactly to any non-fictional species of monkey, it is believed by many that he is in fact a bonobo, a species known to be the sexiest of the great apes.
Our first view of George sees him living free and happy within a commune in North Africa, where he performs for money to passing tourists. One day a group of swarthy-looking men buy him drinks, and after a short time he wakes up with a burlap bag over his head. After a lengthy sea voyage George finds himself living in a cellar in New York, where he gets into a number of jolly japes with a selection of visitors to his dungeon. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that your nipples (Pictured) can fall off?
- ... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
In the news
- Switzerland wins Eurovision
- Netherlands disqualified in final shocker
- YouTube is dead
- D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
- Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
- Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
- NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
- Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
- Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
- Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
- Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
- Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
- Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
- Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
- Santa's Elves on strike
- UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
- Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: O. J. Simpson · Bernard Hill · Nemo's first trophy · Roger Corman · Chrissie from Jaws · Drake's "whole mans career"
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for Tesla cars · "New York Knicks suck" jokes (watch this jinx them lol)
On this day
May 16: New South Welsh Independence Day (Australia)
- A long, long time ago - I can still remember how that music used to make smile.
- 1532 - Sir Elton John resigns as a Queen of England, takes new job as a "Stately Homo."
- 1770 - As a practical joke, a Mr. Potato Head is elected Prime Minister, later causes the Irish potato famine after banning the eating and selling of his own kind.
- 1888 - Acclaimed Serbian-Croatian-American scientist Nikola Tesla patents the idea of patent-theft, to his eventual great regret.
- 1901 - New South Wales gains its independence from New North Wales.
- 1969 - Soviet space probe contracts embarrassing venereal disease while on routine mission to Earth's Sister planet.
- 1974 - Josip Broz Tito declared to be "World's Coolest Dictator" by Bosnians and Serbs, a forlorn Pinochet throws himself off a helicopter.
- 2013 - Barack Obama stares at the shiny Nobel Peace Prize framed on his wall, he remembers a video feed of some gray pixels in the shape of a young Pakistani orphan smeared into a gray pixel pâté. He frowns.
Picture of the day
Children's books as they should be, without sugar-coating. Image credit: Bonjo Nelson |
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