UnNews:YouTube is dead
Friday, May 3rd, 2024
It has been proven that YouTube is now officially DEAD.
Over time, various malfunctions on here has gutted the YouTube website. The one that has terminated it is that the site used to function for 4 to 10 seconds, then it will go on forever buffering. When the Admins there were contacted about the website failing, they act like the complainants were all full of shit when it can be seen that the website has actually died.
People on Reddit and other places have said that the website does nothing but buffer forever, it does not do anything else at all.
An investigation has turned up information that a whistle blower said that the Admins and others throw food and feces all over the place and that allowed mice and roaches and aunts into the place and that they started munching on $100,000,000,000 worth of hardware, while those sickening Admins and others, who are really crazy climate change nuts allowed this to happen.
The Funeral for YouTube will be broadcasted on the all media outlets.
Special News[edit | edit source]
More Whistle blowers from both YouTube and Reddit have now claimed that "YouTube is intentionally preventing people from watching anything on this format until they turn off all anti-Ad programming so that they have to put up with their bullshit ads, scams and the like or pay up front a shitload of money for the same shitty service. Those YouTube Admins are also reported to still throw food, shit, piss all over the place, thus still attracting more vermin.
The possibility exists that the Federal Communications Commission can and would send Chuck Norris to YouTube to kick some Real Ass in order to straighten out the bullshit going on there. The next earthquake that would be felt in California will be Chuck Norris kicking the literal shit out of YouTube.
There is unconfirmed reports that YouTube may change its name to either Ad tube, even to Fuck YouTube.
Recently, YouTube allows only Ads to run without a problem, so suspicions may be confirmed that YouTube will in fact be known as AdTube, in which only Ads will be run while all videos will be used as Clickbait to lure viewers to click on a item of interest, only to watch only Ads, and if the viewers bitch about it, they can call 1-800-Eat-Shit or 1-800-Fuck-You. They will be also known as Fuck YouTube, which will discourage people who complain about the Bait & Switch (The video you want to watch is the bait, when you click on it, the switch pulled on you is the Ads you will be forced to watch, then when the Ads finished playing, the whole thing will display a rotating circle, then later display the same rotating circle on a black background....forever, as the YouTube system crashes and all manner of mice, bugs come running out of the mess) YouTube system.
Another possibility exists that, according to some whistleblowers is that the reason that YouTube wants all anti- Ad defenses removed is to make it easier for hackers and scammers to get the personal information of those that use YouTube for nefarious means, like Identity Theft, monetary fraud, fraud, robbery, dumping fairy porn, child porn, troll porn, dragon porn, worse on users' E-mail accounts. When the YouTube bosses were asked about these allegations, they gave two phone numbers to their Tech support system and to the Head Office, which are 1-800-EAT-SHIT and 1-800-FUCK-YOU, and two alternates if busy.....or not busy, which are 1-888-YOU-BITCH, and 1-900-ASS-HOLE.
Recently, real recently, there are reports all over the place that YouTube, aka Fuck YouTube is now actively in collaboration with all manner of scammers, incl. phishing sites, Internet scare the hell out of you sites, aka, "Your Computer Hass Pickled uPp A ViRus and it WilL DeStroY YoUr DeviCe In 20 MinuTes!", so you download this shit,and you will REALLY pick up something that will Fuck up your computer, like Joe Biden's Up Your Butt economic plans that require you to turn over your bank account to environMENTALists, ass wipers and US Democrats and leftists allies who cannot get a shit job, much less a decent job at all.
It may also be reported that, in the US, that the Federal Trade Commission, the Federal Communications Commission, and even the Federal Beaureau of Investigation,the Central (non)Intelligence Agency, the DEA, BATF, certain other "alphabet agencies" may go after Fuck YouTube, mainly to see if they give really great head, to see if they really suck more ass than the US Democrats.
Meltdown at Fuck YouTube[edit | edit source]
Recently the YouTube servers experienced a major meltdown and fire as a CME from the Sun has started to hit Earth 🌎 🌏 🌍. Some has stated that this incident, along with certain other incidents, may create the Zombie Apocalypse as Solar originated nuclear ☢️ radiation increases all over the place, further mutating all manner of life 🧬 into who knows what the fuck else. The fire turned into a 20,000 alarm 🚨 incident. Even the National Guard had to be called out as some of the YouTube Admins turned zombies proceeded to suck ass and act really stupid 😜🤪💩💩💩💩 as these Admins are doing. It is possible that these Admins got hold of some Poisonous Kittens and huffed them, even got into Wikipedia's stash of mice and cockroaches and huffed them as well.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- YouTube
- Just Stop Oil nuts
- American and British Media,mainly FOX News
- Donald Trump - I am here to make YouTube look lousy and MY Wallet Great Again as I suck more ass than a US Democrat.
- Chuck Norris - YouTube fucked up my martial arts movies and TV and....my jokes, so, guess who is getting their ass kicked?!
- The shits
- Vladimir Putin- Fix this damn shit or I will nuke your ass.
- King Charles III - What in bloody Hell is going on here?!
- Joe Biden - Blubbbeeer blubbbeeerrrr arrrrfffffftttt Blubbbeeerrrr ( Do not blame me, I am SENILE AS FUCK).
- Cockroaches
- Bill Clinton
- Nancy Pelosi
- Woke Movement, a new kind of bowel movement
- Mice
- Sex
- Ass
- Asshole
- Kittens - Recently, a Cockroach has mutated into a new type of Kitten. It was discovered that this kitten is poisonous to all Admins if huffed by them.
- Federal Communications Commission - A US Agency who is sending Chuck Norris to YouTube, he said that this was a freebie, since YouTube had fucked up several of his martial art films, and jokes as well.
- Fuck YouTube - This is the new name that YouTube is now going under, so if you complain, the new name says it all.
- Wikipedia - Site lost all of their mice and roaches,so their articles got deleted.
- Sun - This astronomical body is currently throwing a hell of a hissy fit, causing zombie creating radiation to hit Earth, causing the Zombie Apocalypse to not take place, since the radiation can literally fry any and all life, except those damn fucking cockroaches, turning them into zombies.
- TikTok - I'm staying the fucking hell out of this one, since the USA is throwing my ass out real soon, saying I am a Chinese spy and worse.
- How to Fuck Up YouTube - A How to on how to screw things up on a Social Media Website by pretending to fix it and watch the fun as people try to use the website, instead, people use it as a place to take a shit
- YouTube's "Hold Music" while waiting for non-existent service:(Set to the old TV series Rawhide) BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, THIS SHIT IS PAINFUL, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, MY ASS HURTS, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, BUFFERING, this is on a endless loop, so even the IT people would'nt even get near what is left of YouTube.
- Dilbert - Supposedly one of the guys on YouTube, later determined to be a Admin by a whistleblower who really blows as well as sucks ass.