EgaP niaM

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37,662 articles in English

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Y is TEXAN, Y'ALL!!!!!. Loves to play the drums, and usually hang out with musicians. This user is a purple-spleened administrator and messing with him/her could result in a ban. Knight Commander of the Order gobshite noob UOTM. ROTFL. (Full article...)

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Did you know... [edit]

... that President Hoover (Pictured) was an actual hoover?

... that I am writing this from beyond the grave?
... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
... that reading this section is a severe waste of time?

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In the news [edit]

D.C. stink-bombed by Jihadists and Nazis
Colombia Protests Exclusion from Eurovision; Britney Joins in Support (Pictured)
Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge
NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
Santa's Elves on strike
UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?

Ongoing: Russian Invasion · Eurovision
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)

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On this day [edit]

May 6: No Pants Day

1527 - Spanish and German troops sack Rome, ending the Renaissance and the Era of Poofy Pants in one stroke.
1536 - King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church, along with wooden crucifixes and stores of holy water, in efforts to stave off vampire invasions.
1866 - Oscar Wilde's short story A House of Pomegranates makes the first use of pie charts in known literature.
1882 - The United States Congress passes the Chinese Exclusion Act, followed shortly by the Colored Folk Rights Denial Bill.
1954 - Roger Bannister becomes the first human to run the mile in less than four minutes and also pass the subsequent tests for drug use and being a robot.
2001 - During a trip to Syria, Pope John Paul II becomes the first pope to run naked inside a mosque.
2007 - Queen Elizabeth stands in line with the great unwashed to place a bet on a bobtail nag running in the Kentuckistan Derby.

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Picture of the day

Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.

Exodus 32:

15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.

16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,662 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.