User talk:Carlos the Mean

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//Welcome to the talk page director's commentry. I'm Carlos the Mean. Comments are in italics and have // in front of them because I think it's //cool.

//The following happened when I was a bumbling newbie, feel free to ignore it:

Welcome to the Uncyclopedia. Please do not blank pages if you want them for deletion. Instead, point us to them in QVFD If you want them vaporized, as alluded to int he Beginner's Guide. Thank you.--Flammable CUN 01:32, 25 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Oh, sorry, being as I am a beginner, I didn't know there was a beginner's guide :-/. Carlos

's okay. ^.^ We all make mistakes our first time. What matters is that ya do something about it. Reading the guide counts.--Flammable CUN 01:42, 25 Aug 2005 (UTC)

//This was about a mildly pornographic picture of some computer game character or something entitled "Rayne Gone Wild". So naturally I //spliced Wilde's head in, changed the 'stats' bit in the corner appropriately, and voila!, an ingenious visual pun. Except somebody deleted it. //*Sigh*.

“..but Carlos that's my Mother !”
~ Oscar Wilde on Rayne Gone Wilde

//Still, I'm glad to have a made-up quote on my talk page. For some reason the contents thing follows it, which I think is quite good because it //makes the above section seem like an introduction of sorts. I like to think of it as 'The Early Years.'


//This message from a prolific Uncyclopedian filled me with a feeling of great esteem, not misplaced I might add - the article it refers to is quite //simply inspired, and has entertained thousands ever since.

Heh, that is mean, mean should be your middle name.. Carlos Mean the. I edited the off switch a bit using the randomize code (hope you don't mind).. now, there is a 4% chance that it will show the freedome link. --Splaka 00:27, 26 Sep 2005 (UTC)

Heh heh, thanks. Now only the lucky few will be free! Art imitating life. --Carlos Mean the 00:32, 26 Sep 2005 (UTC)

//Aah, how witty I was back then...

Intelligent Design[edit]

//This next message refers to one of my characteristic rages that I fling myself into when faced with ignorance. I like to think of myself as a //Warrior of Reason.

What is wrong with you? Mocking of a theory is not Uncyclopedic - parody, humor, and bold-faced lies are. You're distorting it with excessive stupid arguments against something that you describe to be true which is too close to the real version to even be parody. Please think of the children! --Dawg 19:35, 1 Oct 2005 (UTC)

Sorry, but that's what you seemed to be doing, and I thought I'd sink to your level but at least do it in the vain of the article (though looking at it again you weren't doing that anyway). I just get pissed off at creationists and start to do things I'll regret. I'm like the Incredible Hulk or something. Revert it if you want. --Carlos the Mean 23:15, 1 Oct 2005 (UTC)

//Notice the show of disdain with the phrase 'sink to your level'. It's subtle, but it's there. I don't think he'd have noticed it, he wasn't too bright.


//I nominated this young man's article. I thought it was quite entertaining, but few others shared my sentiments. Still, he gave me a minor award //as a token of his appreciation, worthless trinket though it may be.

Thanks for nominating one of my articles, specifically Liver'n'Onions. I really appreciate it. --Cheeseboi at about 5:00 or something on October 3

thanks for making me laugh!

To sign something, type - - ~ ~ ~ ~ without the spaces --Carlos the Mean 21:15, 4 Oct 2005 (UTC)

I know. I just was too lazy to log in, I think.--Cheeseboi 20:29, 6 Oct 2005 (UTC)


//This is from when I was nearly blocked. That was a hairy episode! I didn't actually notice but the message made me aware of it and told me //what I'd done wrong. I thought I was being quite funny. Some people have no taste.

You may or may not have noticed that you were blocked last night because you "blanked" most of Recent News. While some other admins came to a consensus on IRC to unblock you because it looked like you were doing it for Comedy, you may want to be more careful about things like that. And if you think an edit might be controversial, ALWAYS at least leave an edit summary or else the admins can get twitchy. --—rc (t) 22:15, 9 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Oh, sorry. I thought the rest of it was pretty old so no one would mind. --Carlos the Mean 16:38, 10 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Heads up[edit]

Lithium Ore is over 1 month old and WIP. Please expand it or someone might huff it. -- T. (talk) 21:33, 11 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Yeah, I started it from a link from Lithium (I think I just wanted it to be a blue link), but it's not going anywhere. Huff it if you want. --Carlos the Mean 02:32, 15 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Why.. all the... pugil-ism?[edit]

//Euroipods. What can I say? Nothing that hasn't been said already. Let's just say, I'll never be the same again. Lots of people did lots of very //nasty things to other people. Things were said, pints were spilt, pints of blood were spilt... I don't think any one of us be able to fully put it //behind us. The only thing I know for sure is that the whole issue is very messy, and it's hard to tell from the confusion who's right and who's //wrong. That's what you get when you mess with the powers of meta-humour I suppose.

Shitsumon! (Question.) Why am I fighting you in the Euroipods posterosterosterosteroster?--Sir Flammable KUN 05:21, 15 Dec 2005 (UTC)

As I was just about to post in VFP:

I'd have put MrJimmy there but he's too small. Plus the guy whose picture I'm next to looks like he could be called "Carlos the Mean". Who fights who doesn't really matter. Now stop talking to me before I get told off for chatting on VFP *hides*.

--Carlos the Mean 05:24, 15 Dec 2005 (UTC)


Hey, if I made an actual Chess metatemplate, would you wanna use it? It'd be a wikicode table with png pieces, might be a tiny bit harder to edit for moves, but it'd look cool. --Splaka 06:01, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

I quite like the text chess, but I wouldn't say no to a bit of professionalism. Maybe I'll finish this game and the next game can be "Chess - DELUXE EDITION" with your metatemplate. If it doesn't get finished by the time you've done the template, I'll just have two games going. Great idea, thanks. --Carlos the Mean 08:02, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Oh, and I was actually in the middle of doing my awards page! I just got distracted by writing an article. Still, I have only got one award so I guess 'least awards' is probably appropriate considering that everybody has at least 15. I was going to award myself a load for no good reason though, and make a joke out of it. --Carlos the Mean 08:04, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Fair enough, sorry to ruin your awards page ^_^. --Splaka 08:13, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

P.S. Done: Template_talk:Chessboard. It does need png alpha support, but is highly simplistic. --Splaka 08:43, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Marvellous. Have a cookie on me. --Carlos the Mean 09:12, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Woo! you actually added it to my page correctly! For that, you get a cookie. --Splaka 09:22, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Rumble In Euroipods[edit]

//This user claims to have actually phoned the number on my famous Rumble in Euroipods poster. I don't believe him, and I won't grace his lies with a response. Cool sig though.

Hello Mr. Mean,

I have reviewed your picture and found it to be quite funny, but I am curious: Why is the telephone number for a recreation center in Lenoir, NC the number given to call for more information? When I called they had no clue what this rumble in euroipods was about.

Please, kind sir, if you would, change the number to one that will provide me with more information.

Thank You, Dawg.gif » Brig Sir Dawg | t | v | c » 06:31, 23 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Touched by a Mexican[edit]

//I graced this man (or possibly woman) with a presigious award of my devising. He should have been proud, but he was instead ashamed to be in the company of Nerd42. I hold the award too, and I have to say, being associated with him tends to get me kicked out of certain restaurants.

I thank you for noticing my collection of dog hazard labels and subsequently voting in their favour on VFP.

However, due to this (what some might call) "amusing" series of images, you have deemed me fit for your exclusive Carlos' UncyclopedicNess Trophy. I would have been very proud and honoured, if it wasn't for the fact the only other user page to be graced by its taco-bending glory, is the one belonging to Nerd42.

My point is: what's the damn thing supposed to represent? And if it's truly for what the template says it's for, which one of Nerd42's many significant acts earned him this prestigious award?

Sincerely --~ sin($) tan() 09:58, 1 Jan 2006 (UTC)

It's supposed to represent what it claims it is. And to find out why Nerd42 got it, read User_talk:Nerd42#Carlos_the_Mean_is_happy_with_you_award. --Sir Carlos the Mean CUN VFP CS CM CUNT (talk) 02:58, 7 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Yes, I've done so, and I'm proud of it now, as you can deduce from my renewed signature. I shall dispose of it whenever I go out, as to prevent random beatings.
Oh, and I'm male.
Respectfully --~ sin($) tan() 18:48, 7 Jan 2006 (UTC)

my user page bends tacos? cool!! --Nerd42eMailTalkUnMetaWPediah2g2 22:27, 21 July 2006 (UTC)

Featured Articles[edit]

Thanx for the vote. I don't think it is just a bunch of cliches as u said eventhough it does refer to other uncyclopedia articles every few words. It was hard to make it coherent, and even harder to make it funny. If some time you feel like reading it and not just scanning, I would really appreciate if u told me whether u still think that way or not. And of course any contribution is more than welcomed. Thanx.--Rataube 01:43, 14 February 2006 (UTC)


Snoop.JPG Merry Chrizzle, Happy Hanukizzle,
and a Kick Ass Kwizzle
from Me & Snoop Dizzle!

--Naughtius Maximus Leaf.jpg F@H Woof!Za slice.jpg MeowMUN 01:33, 22 December 2006 (UTC)



You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

--MajorMajor'GUN' Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu .Complex! 19:34, 10 December 2007 (UTC)

Don't listen a word he says--Æ 20:07, 10 December 2007 (UTC)