User:SgtSock

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"Never heard of him."

~Oscar Wilde on SgtSock

"SgtSock is a funny name!"

~Some kid on Xbox Live on SgtSock's name

This is SgtSock. He doesn't feel bad, but doesn't feel good.

SgtSock is a person, which is what you might have already guessed. He lives somewhere in the United States, has a email adress, and does stuff. He doesn't tend to get along with other people, because he thinks that everyone hates him. His fears include being embarrassed, death, and heights. He is a n00b, and has no friends. Well, except for that guy...

Early Years[edit | edit source]

SgtSock began his life on November 1st 1993, when your mom gave birth to him. She then realized that he was really, really ugly, and gave him away to the Loser family. There, he grew up in a small, smelly apartment. All he did was watch speed racer all the time, eat donuts, and go swimming, and probably almost drowned once. Probably because he was only 3 at the time. Then, the Losers finally decided to move from their small, smelly apartment, to a large, smelly house.

The Loser family's new home.

Then, he spent two years doing absolutely nothing, except for playing lemmings and going to pre-school. Then, when he was 5 years old, he went to a real school, where everyone picked on him for being ugly and fat. The only real friend he had there was a grue, who didn't eat him because he tasted nasty. He would always love to play with it, until it ran away, far, far away.

He remained very sad for the rest of the school year, until the middle of summer vacation, where he met some guy while playing a stupid game. The rest of his early life, is just stupid, dumb, and stupid.

War Years[edit | edit source]

In the year 2006, SgtSock joined the Nintendo army, in order to defend the Gamecube near the end of the 6th console war. He started out as just a private, but quickly went up the ranks until he reached sergeant because of his mastery in the ways of the headshot. But, nothing could stop the onslaught of the fierce sony fanboys, not even headshots.

The Playstation army defeated the Nintendo army in the 6th console war.

"It was just too much... it happened too fast... we never had a chance... they just have too many exclusives! We know that nintendo is trying it's best, but it's too late now... even though the Gamecube has better graphics, it's worth nothing if we don't have any good games to use it. I'm not sure if I'll survive or not... so I'd just like everyone to know that I hate you guys... I just hate you guys so much..."

~SgtSock on the Gamecubes demise

Right then, it looked like Nintendo was finished. But then, through some miracle, the Nintendo DS saved them from their doom. But, that did not save the Gamecube from death. But hope was not lost for Nintendo, as a Revolution was coming... in the form of the Wii.

In between the 6th and 7th console wars, SgtSock was sent home, where the war continued on the gamespot forums. There, he had to try to talk some sense into complete idiots, and hype up the upcoming Wii as much as possible, and bash the PlayStation 3 as much as possible. Of course, since sony fanboys are as ignorant as sony is, it failed miserably.

Early in 2007, SgtSock dropped out of the Nintendo Army, because "It's just not fun anymore.".

Recent Life[edit | edit source]

SgtSock now just lives with his now divorced parents, usually with his mom. Why? He's only 13, what did you expect? He likes to pwn all the n00bs in Halo 2, and do other stuff. He's also writing his own autobiography for his user page. He's enjoying the new version of game maker, and does things and stuff.

Did You Know...?[edit | edit source]

Z1 This user has beaten Zork 1: The Great Underground Empire.


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