User:Pocketthesaurus
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Fits in your pocket.[1]
pock·et [pok-it] –noun
1. a shaped piece of fabric attached inside or outside a garment and forming a pouch used esp. for carrying small articles.
the·sau·rus [thi-sawr-uhs] –noun, plural -sau·rus·es, -sau·ri [-sawr-ahy]
1. a dictionary of synonyms and antonyms.
“What an asshole.”
Stuffs[edit | edit source]
Pocketthesaurus is the secret alias of Double-O Agent Jude.[2]
Writes : Stuff/Right handed
Bats : Afraid of rabies/Right handed
Pitches : Sales and tents
Likes : Long moon-lit walks on the beach with underage girls, candle-lit
dinners in asbestos-filled restaurants, Star Wars, music, and stuff
Dislikes : Racists, homophobes, pro-lifers, whiny girls, filling things like this out
More stuffs[edit | edit source]
- Likes stuff.
- Likes sleeping.
- Likes sleeping alone.
- Likes sleeping with women.
- Likes sleeping alone with women.
- Likes sleeping under trees while dreaming of a better world, a world where men don't have to live in constant fear of God, the Devil or, to a lesser extent, Bob.
- Likes eating.
- Likes eating food.
- Likes it because it tastes good.
Pictures of Things I like[edit | edit source]
(For the reading-impaired)[3]
File:Menu chicken sandwich.jpg 
File:P21644k29xi.jpg 
The Good Stuffs[edit | edit source]
pocketthesaurus has made some entries, written some fake news, and added wonderment to already-written entries.
Articles I've Written[edit | edit source]
- Al-Team, The
- Black History Month [4]
- Chick-Fil-A [5]
- Cutters [6]
- Godzilla Complex
- Grand Theft Auto: Tatooine [7]
- Grand Theft Chariot: Jerusalem
- Grand Wizard
- Hitler the Horrible
- Inside the Dictators' Studio
- Jesus Christ - Alcoholic
- John Luck Picard [8]
- Johnny Rocket's
- Leopold Bloom
- Officer Bubbles
- Phi Alpha Gamma
- Spy Vs. Spy [9]
- Tusken Raiders
- United States Bill of Rights
Things I've explained HowTo Do[edit | edit source]
UnNews-worthy Things I've Authored[edit | edit source]
- Amy Winehouse Says Legible Sentence Without Singing It
- Arizona Sheriff and Steven Seagal End American Leg of British Punk Band's Tour
- Baggins Family to Be Charged With Grand Theft [11]
- Bachmann Proposes Incarcerating All African-Americans
- Bob Marley, Eric Clapton Blamed for Wisconsin Massacre
- Bush Loses Lucky Penny [12]
- Capital One Employees Rape, Pillage Office Building
- Caylee Anthony Memorial Facebook Page Causes Brownouts
- CCSU Editor Calls Lightning "Magical"
- Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler Excited to Finally Have Chance to Be Sacked in Playoffs
- Finally Bowing to Increasing Pressure, 50s Cafe Changes Seating, Hiring Policies
- Florida Police Nab Dangerous Youth, Criminal Mastermind
- General Mills releases Obama birth certificate
- John Petroski Finds That Rape Hurts, Even if You Don't Fight It
- In Wacky Mix-Up, Georgia Executes Innocent Man
- Local guitarist uncovers hidden music in Da Vinci's 'Last Supper'
- Man Dies While Trying to Open His Heart to Jesus [13]
- Massive Flooding Reported Across America; Facebook to Blame
- Miami Dolphins Achieve Near Imperfection With No Effort
- Nation's Disturbed Teens In Desperate Need of Target Practice [14]
- Rubber Bullet Futures Looking Good Amidst Egyptian Turmoil
- Satan Denies Hell is "Fiery Abyss"
- Singer Morrissey's Girlfriend Goes Into a Coma; "It's Serious," Say Doctors
- Southern Sudan Votes to Secede, Leaving Most Americans to Ask, "What in the fuck is a Sudan?"
- T-Mobile Comes Under Fire for Promoting Animal Abuse
- Vatican and Pope on Trial over L'Aquila earthquake
Things I've Made Major (or minor) Contributions To[edit | edit source]
- Albus Dumbledore (added Posthumous section and picture)
- Barack Obama (extensively cleaned-up grammar and spelling, recently rewrote a majority of article)
- Black Mage (added a picture)
- British Man Victim Of "W" Virus (added photo with caption "Victims of the "W" virus often have trouble making normal facial expressions.")
- Commander Sisko (created the photo)
- February 31 (redirected to Imaginary Numbers)
- Feminists Reach Goal in Converts for 2007 (rewrote half the fucking article, added links, fixed some grammar and spelling errors, then gave up)
- Franklin D. Roosevelt (added fear poll image and caption)
- Fridge (added Mike Ditka quote)
- George Bush talks about a plan to Invade more countries (tried to fix it up as much as I could - added images, fixed spelling/grammar, added substance)
- Grand Theft Auto: Baghdad (added some weapons and characters, cleaned up links, grammar and spelling)
- Grand Theft Auto: New Zealand (added White Hands to gang list)
- HowTo:Get Laid (added The Force to Metaphors)
- Lando_Calrissian (Cleaned up spelling & grammar; rearranged stuff)
- No Child Left Behind (added picture of children wearing God Hates Fags t-shirts with caption that they have been left behind)
- Roleplaying Game (Fixed Darkon part of Popular RPGs section)
- World Celebrates "Some sort of event" (cleaned it up a bit, rewrote sections of it, added some images)
Footnote stuffs[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Legal notice: Not really.
- ↑ Actually agent 011, but an honorary Double-O. Also an honorary doctor. And an honorary judge. And an honorary mayor. And a godfather. Also, he has the key to the city of Las Francisco. And the keys to the hearts of many women. Also, he is full of himself.
- ↑ What are you doing on this site?
- ↑ For all of my brothers.
- ↑ Most experts agree that it's a relig-elicious experience.
- ↑ For all of the emo kids.
- ↑ My personal favorite game!
- ↑ Much more interesting than Jean Luc Picard
- ↑ Relocated due to
not ever being finishedmy laziness. - ↑ Because April 16th is only 156 days away. - pocketthesaurus on October 12th, 2007
- ↑ True story! I heard it from my cousin, Jimmy, who was told about it from his drummer, Bob, who had heard it from his girlfriend's best-friend, Janine, who heard it from her dad's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roomate!
- ↑ I found it. And I'm holding it for ransom!
- ↑ I went to school with that guy.
- ↑ They waste so much ammo!