User:Pocketthesaurus

pock·et [pok-it] –noun
1. a shaped piece of fabric attached inside or outside a garment and forming a pouch used esp. for carrying small articles.
the·sau·rus [thi-sawr-uhs] –noun, plural -sau·rus·es, -sau·ri [-sawr-ahy]
1. a dictionary of synonyms and antonyms.

“What an asshole.”

~ pocketthesaurus on himself

Stuffs

Pocketthesaurus is the secret alias of a Double-O Agent.

Writes   : Stuff/Right handed
Bats     : Afraid of rabies/Right handed
Pitches  : Sales and tents
Likes    : Long moon-lit walks on the beach with dogs, candle-lit 
           dinners in asbestos-filled restaurants, Star Wars, music, and stuff
Dislikes : Racists, homophobes, pro-lifers, whiny girls, filling things like this out

More stuffs

• Likes stuff.
• Likes sleeping.
• Likes sleeping alone.
• Likes sleeping with women.
• Likes sleeping alone with women.
• Likes sleeping under trees while dreaming of a better world, a world where men don't have to live in constant fear of God, the Devil or, to a lesser extent, Bob.
• Likes eating.
• Likes eating food.
• Likes it because it tastes good.

The Good Stuffs

pocketthesaurus has made some entries, written some fake news, and added wonderment to already-written entries.

Articles I've Written

• Chick-Fil-A
• Grand Wizard
• Hitler the Horrible
• Inside the Dictators' Studio
• Jesus Christ - Alcoholic
• Johnny Rocket's
• Officer Bubbles
• Spy Vs. Spy
• Tusken Raiders
• United States Bill of Rights

Things I've explained HowTo Do

• HowTo:Do Your Taxes
• HowTo:Make A Sandwich

UnNews-worthy Things I've Authored

• Amy Winehouse Says Legible Sentence Without Singing It
• Arizona Sheriff and Steven Seagal End American Leg of British Punk Band's Tour
• Baggins Family to Be Charged With Grand Theft
• Bachmann Proposes Incarcerating All African-Americans
• Bob Marley, Eric Clapton Blamed for Wisconsin Massacre
• Bush Loses Lucky Penny
• Capital One Employees Rape, Pillage Office Building
• Caylee Anthony Memorial Facebook Page Causes Brownouts
• CCSU Editor Calls Lightning "Magical"
• Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler Excited to Finally Have Chance to Be Sacked in Playoffs
• Finally Bowing to Increasing Pressure, 50s Cafe Changes Seating, Hiring Policies
• Florida Police Nab Dangerous Youth, Criminal Mastermind
• General Mills releases Obama birth certificate
• Local guitarist uncovers hidden music in Da Vinci's 'Last Supper'
• Man Dies While Trying to Open His Heart to Jesus
• Massive Flooding Reported Across America; Facebook to Blame
• Miami Dolphins Achieve Near Imperfection With No Effort
• Nation's Disturbed Teens In Desperate Need of Target Practice
• Rubber Bullet Futures Looking Good Amidst Egyptian Turmoil
• Singer Morrissey's Girlfriend Goes Into a Coma; "It's Serious," Say Doctors
• Southern Sudan Votes to Secede, Leaving Most Americans to Ask, "What in the fuck is a Sudan?"
• T-Mobile Comes Under Fire for Promoting Animal Abuse
• Vatican and Pope on Trial over L'Aquila earthquake

Things I've Made Major (or minor) Contributions To

• Albus Dumbledore (added Posthumous section and picture)
• Barack Obama (extensively cleaned-up grammar and spelling, recently rewrote a majority of article)
• Black Mage (added a picture)
• British Man Victim Of "W" Virus (added photo with caption "Victims of the "W" virus often have trouble making normal facial expressions.")
• Commander Sisko (created the photo)
• February 31 (redirected to Imaginary Numbers)
• Feminists Reach Goal in Converts for 2007 (rewrote half the fucking article, added links, fixed some grammar and spelling errors, then gave up)
• Franklin D. Roosevelt (added fear poll image and caption)
• Fridge (added Mike Ditka quote)
• Grand Theft Auto: New Zealand (added White Hands to gang list)
• HowTo:Get Laid (added The Force to Metaphors)
• No Child Left Behind (added picture of children wearing God Hates Fags t-shirts with caption that they have been left behind)
• World Celebrates "Some sort of event" (cleaned it up a bit, rewrote sections of it, added some images)