UnNews:T-Mobile Comes Under Fire for Promoting Animal Abuse
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
1 March 2009
Washington, District of Columbia - Animal rights activists congregated in Washington DC this weekend. The activists piled in the streets, demanding that the United States Congress look into allegations that T-Mobile Corporation utilizes and promotes animal abuse in their recent commercials.
Under serious scrutiny by the activists is a recent commercial for T-Mobile's new anti-contract campaign.
In the commercial, a wife informs her husband that she has changed their cellular phone company to T-Mobile. The husband then says to her, "You know how I hate commitment."
Seemingly, to defend her decision, the wife then turns to him and says "We've been married for 40 years," and is then rudely cut-off by the husband who informs her that it was actually 38 years.
Once she regains composure, the wife continues, "We've had eleven bulldogs, all named Steve."
On the streets of DC, we met-up with Todd Barker, a Grand Wizard of the Imperial Knights of PETA, who said "This commercial obviously promotes animal abuse. There is no way that they have had eleven dogs in thirty-eight years unless they've been abusing them in some way, killing them at a young age. Dogs deserve better."
Majority Leader, Senator Harry Reid (D-NV), said "Congress will probably look into this issue, as we have absolutely nothing else that is a pressing issue right now."
Taking to the streets again, we found that there was no shortage of people willing to speak their minds on this critical issue facing America.
"It's a simple issue of black and white, right and wrong, right and left, up and down, above and under... To us", said Thom Polain, a long-time animal-rights activist (and self-described hippie) from Oregon.
"This commercial discusses callously the death of at least ten animals," Polain continued, "and does absolutely nothing in the way of consequences to the horrible owners. This is promoting animal abuse on an unparalleled way."
While Congress and the protesters seem to have reached some form of agreement over this issue, which they both consider important, other people, such as Rob Sterling, a local DC worker, have no sympathy for the animals and are simply angry that the streets were filled with protesters.
"It's like this all of the time in DC. Constant protesters. The last eight years, or so, tons of people came here on a consistent basis, flooding the streets of my city, causing traffic problems and making me late for work. You'd think this city was important for some reason or something," said Sterling, an employee at one of the cities many Au Bon Pain locations.