User:Methamphetamine/welcome

Welcome!

The Welcoming Committee welcome you, Methamphetamine to Uncyclopedia! Inner Party Members require to to read several links before making adds to BB's article pile:

1. Read HTBFANJS. It's our holy book for writing articles, and it's to prevent your article from dying at such a young age.
2. BGBU tells everything else.
3. The Sandbox lets you test how to make pages easily without having it deleted
4. Make a userpage, so that identification of work and you is easier. All good members have userpages.
5. Make a signature. Link doesn't have the best guide in world so deal with it, or try HowTo:Steal Ghelæ's Sig
6. See UN:RA, User:Jocke Pirat/Inspire and UN:PIC for help with articles and pictures.
7. More questions? See Forum:Help and ask one. Read the first thread before continuing to do so.
8. Although writing an article is definitely not mandatory (and will NEVER be), it is encouraged, sort of. You can create an article 2 ways. Through the mainspace (Nobody cares, UnNews:This is an UnNews, and Why?:Cancer is Great for example), where it can get deleted, or your userspace (User:Methamphetamine/stuff), where you can work on it until you think it's ready to be moved into the mainspace.

And, if you want, join these communities and make yourself feel special and fuzzy inside.

The Pee Review -- You got something and wonder if other people see it as funny and not just stupid? Go ask the Peeing Community! Most of them will tell you if it's good or bad, and what areas you need to improve on. If you want to pee on an article yourself, read this, and join through this. Keep an active look on our sacred list to see if your pee smells bad, or is nice and clear! Our crappiest finest users (Under user, Heerenveen, Orian57, and Yettie) observe, smell, and drink your piss inactively.

The CMC Mafia -- Run by the British Yettie, the Mafia is a "Family Organization" and have been so since around mid-2008. You can choose between the gangbanger Russian mafia, or the classic Italian mafia. OMFG N00b DEAL!*

Adopt a N00b -- Do more experienced users make fun of your n00bishness? Can't get that fucking HTML coding straight, even though you're a forum HTML master? Well, tough fucking shit you're in luck, because some of us are helpful to new users. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. They'll help you with whatever you need, I guarantee it.

Breaking the servers -- And we can all blame it on Spang, who's career choice was to screw the internet over. FU SPANG Choices include counting to a million and being the most obnoxious user by trying to be the last one to edit. You Choose.

*--N00b deals have contents including, but not limited to, shit, a video of 2girls1cup, and crack.

And please don't mind my sick humor, there's humor and humour for everyone here. Whether you're a non-existent Aussie, a Brit, or a stereotypically dumb person, whether you love just the opposing sex, love both sexes, or love only the same sex, whether teenage or adult.