User:Ayatollah Gurkhmeini

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Foolitzer Prize Award Foolitzer Prize Winner September 2006
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This user enjoys staring at spinning objects. They may be afflicted with Attention Deficit look at the birdie!

You can help by paying for their Ritalin, or finding them a kitten to play with.


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WEREHAMSTER Award

WTF?!!?? This award makes no sense and is awarded for no logical reason.
THIS USER IS A WEREHAMSTER!!! BE AFRAID! BE VERY AFRAID!!


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This user is a native speaker of English.
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This user is a native speaker of Recondite English.
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This user speaks Spanglish at a near-native level.
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This user is able to contribute with an advanced level of Español.
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This user is able to contribute with a basic level of Elvish.
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This user has a sizeable amount of schmaltz and chutzpah.
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This user does not speak Esperanto and believes it to be an embarrassment to language. Furthermore, this user desires the genocide of all Esperanto speakers.
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Yah meeht nawt beh abble tew undersvand zis usehr behkuz zey zpeek Sarcasm whif und estreemleh theuck akzent.
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Knight Commander of the Order
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This user is Mormon and believes all articles will be featured, but there will be 3 levels of VFH. They have a book that could change your life.
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This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled to all honors and persecutions as such.
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This user is American
…and unabashedly proud of it!
(List of American Uncyclopedians)
United States
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This user is secretly training to be a Leprechaun, and believes themselves to be Irish.
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This user is a Nintendo fan.
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424px-Gondor flag2.svg.png This user is a Dúnadan
...and is Isildur's heir, not Isildur himself.
(List of Uncyclopedian Dúnedain)
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This user wants to live a Beatnik lifestyle and transcend hipsterism.
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This user's primary source of artwork is MS Paint.
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This user is a boy and wields a penis happy stick.
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This user has already read all of Oscar Wilde's works. Twice. And has his picture over their bed.
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This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
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This user is a reporter for UnNews because they couldn't get a job at a real newspaper.
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This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.
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This user is against sexuality; probably because it is not a pervert like you.
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I must be praised for my piety.

Ayatollah Gurkhmeini (1946-2956) was a Wookiee Chieftain that fought in the Battle of Kashyyyk during the Clone Wars. the youngest child of Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo. an Iranian-American Jedi, h4x0r, and, most of all, Uncyclopedia contributor. He marrried Jaina Solo, the EU's biggest hottie, in 29 ABY, and subsequently impregnated her with a metric buttload of hot Jedi kids. He resurrected Yoda in 32 ABY and is currently working on an album with acclaimed producer Slub Gamorkiyan.

Who am I?[edit]

Who in Outer Darkness knows? I'm too busy dodging bullets fired by Lilburn W. Boggs and his lackies to discuss these matters of profound importance. I am however, Mormon, which means I am:

  • Extremely happy;
  • Can use the word "eternal" in normal conversation;
  • Think I can solve everything by referring you to missionaries;
  • A born optimist who thinks the humor is the world's manner of achieving enlightenment. Good humor that is.

Furthermore, according to Mordillo, it would seem that I might be the Latter-Day Lowlander, leading his pikemen and woad raiders soon to a theatre near you! Like Braveheart, but without the Catholic fanaticism and anti-Semitism!

This is how I see the world. Not wrong, only different.

My Articles[edit]

You can view the ones I started or wrote most of here.

My Propaganda[edit]

Uncyclopedians Anonymous: My anti-Wiki.

My insanely biased propaganda (for which I have recently received the FOOLITZER PRIZE) is displayed here.

Facts[edit]

I am a student in Utah, land of the Mormons. A mere lad to most, I have been able to pwn all my enemies and become an Uncyclopedia Contributor. My fav. sub. are hist. and Eng., dude!

I enjoy writing articles on history and geography, and just love to put in infoboxes on crap. Infoboxes are fun, and make it like kinda real.

Awards[edit]

See them here.

Sports[edit]

Gurkhmeini does not play sports, although he does run and may try out for track next year. Also, as a Salt Lake supporter, I may murder anyone who supports Chivas USA or Colorado.

Model UN[edit]

OMFG! 1tz t3h b34713z!!!!111!1!!1

I greatly enjoy participating in the Model United Nations program. I currently represent Germany on UNESCO and SOCHUM throughout the state of Utah. Yes, I am a nurd.

Music[edit]

I play violin and guitar. However, due to my use of this website, I am not very good. I like to listen to Mozart, The Beatles, Death Cab for Cutie, Bright Eyes, Cream, The Ramones, and other crazy crap.

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The information contained in this article is dangerous.

To truly understand the madness and Environmentalism he unleashed, one must understand the life of John Muir. For this reason, we have disclosed several details about this dangerous man. Unauthorized terraist use of this article is strictly prohibited.