User:Administrator/Instant Water
This page was created for one purpose only, and that is to sell a product.
Therefore, you are obligated to buy it.
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“Instant Water® is an excellent product. Just add water, and you have...water!”
Instant Water® is a miracle product, the latest in the "Instant" line. It is a pinnacle of science and technology. There is simply no alternative to it. It's an unprecedented innovation of existence. If you don't have at least one package of it, you are seriously behind the times, man.
How To Use Instant Water®[edit | edit source]
First, you take a specially designed Instant Water® cup. Then, go to a faucet or tap and place your cup under it. Now turn it on and fill your cup with water. And...
VOILA!
You have water! Hooray for you!
How Instant Water® Works[edit | edit source]
The terraforming gluons in the specially designed Ryporabin-Grolime cups are activated when Dihydrogen Monoxide, a primary component of tap water, comes into contact with the breakthrough hyperglucose ion receptors specially designed by NASA for their space missions. The DHMO is purified in the laser antimatter purification bath and converted by the biological filter into pure water.
Why You Need Instant Water®[edit | edit source]
Instant Water® gives you free, anywhere access to water as long as you have some water to add to it. Water has many uses:
- It's tasty
- Grues can not cross it
- Chuck Norris's muscles are magnetically attracted to it (good in a deadly pinch)
- Giving it to dehydrated African orphans repels malaria. For you. Because the mosquitoes will now try to steal the water that they now have.
- Codeine, Sophia, Hot Chick, Queen Elizabeth, Ceridwyn, and every single unicorn ever are all addicted to it, and when deprived of it will do whatever you ask to get it.
In addition, Dihydrogen Monoxide is a highly deadly component of tap water which is converted into water by our filters. For more information, click here.
Is this a scam?[edit | edit source]
No, this is not a scam. Nor is it spam. Nor is it annoying nonsense composed entirely of hyperlinked text.
You are lying.[edit | edit source]
No, I am merely using irony. You see, this page is entirely composed of fictitious nonsense based on a product that does not actually exist, parodizing the miracle product industry. Furthermore, I, the guy who wrote this article, am therefore a complete jack-
Ha Ha! This isn't a user page! You can't ban me!
..dammit.