Dihydrogen monoxide

DHMO is almost undetectable, so it must be handled carefully.

Dihydrogen monoxide, also known as hydrogen hydroxide and hydroxic acid, abbreviated DHMO, is an odorless, tasteless, and highly corrosive substance. Although it is liquid at room temperature, it is highly volatile and can be turned into gas and solid forms relatively easily.

Chemical Properties

DHMO's chemical formula is extremely simple, consisting of a hydroxide group [OH^-] covalently bonded to a hydrogen cation [H⁺], giving it the chemical formula "HOH". It has a bent geometry due to the two lone electron pairs of the central O atom in hydroxide, causing the hydrogen cation to extend from the rest of molecule at a 104.5° angle. Due to its hydrogen-oxygen bonds, the leading inter-molecular force acting on DHMO is the extremely strong hydrogen bond, causing it to easily dissolve into any other polar compound.

Commercial Uses

Despite DHMO's danger, many unscrupulous factories use it as an industrial coolant because of its extremely high heat capacity, and it is frequently output with other waste materials into rivers and streams. It never biodegrades. Large amounts of DHMO have been found everywhere, with the chemical itself persisting in over 70% of the Earth's surface. This is widely believed to be a result of high solubility of DHMO to any material.

DHMO is also used as an additive in many soft drinks. In one test, a single can of Coca Cola was found to contain more than 300g of DHMO.

Corrosive properties

DHMO has corrosive properties on a wide amount of materials, including metals such as iron. It can cause iron to oxidize and quickly break down and deteriorate. It also can erode landscapes, wearing away even stone when those materials are subjected to prolonged contact to DHMO.

[1]

HowTo:Detect DHMO

Though DHMO is colorless and transparent, it can be identified by its reflective tint. Clothes contaminated with DHMO have been shown to darken in the DHMO-contaminated parts. Clusters of condensed DHMO gas have been observed sticking out like a sore thumb in the air, waiting to pour out droplets of DHMO at varying intensity. Even those who were decieved by the propaganda fear having large clusters of condensed DHMO gas filling most of the visible sky, because that means that an intense amount of DHMO drops will pour on them and weaken their immune system, hence why they watch special internet sites to predict the bodies' activities.

Dangers

DHMO is one of the most dangerous substances currently known to man. Inhalation of liquid DHMO kills within minutes. Prolonged skin contact to solid DHMO can cause severe pain and can even require amputation. When thermally agitated, it produces blistering vapors which reduce visibility. More than 500 people are killed on roads each year by these phantom menaces. Any physical contact to liquid DHMO has been reported to cause loss of body heat on the DHMO-touched area if not removed before it harvests the heat to absorb itself into the surrounding gas. DHMO decreases friction, meaning that walking on ground contaminated with DHMO or made of DHMO increases the risk of falling.

DHMO is also highly deadly if inhaled while in liquid form, causing death after 10 minutes of large exposure.

Even ingestion of the liquid can cause problems. Studies show that DHMO ages and oxidizes human cells and causes death within 80 years. Although it can cause a lot of long term damage, the median lethal dose for DHMO is 90,000 mg per kg of body weight, or about 6L for the average person, in a span of 15 minutes.

That being said, DHMO bodies seem to be the natural habitat of a very dangerous and feared species, as well as their even more monstrous comrades, one of which gave its Greek name to a deadly and feared disease.

Furthermore, DHMO is psychoactive and extremely addictive. Regular users report feelings of freshness and reduction of thirst after consuming DHMO. In a carefully controlled study, 100% of participants admitted to using DHMO at some point in their lives. Numerous research show that this can even be hereditary: parents who consumed dihydrogen monoxide have been reported passing down their crippling DHMO addiction to their kids. This is a cycle that has ensured that virtually eighty out of eighty lifeforms are addicted to DHMO. DHMO has the withdrawal symptoms of feeling dry-skinned, feeling thin-skinned, decreased saliva production, decreased body weight, decreased bodily water, then, after 3 days of withdrawal, death. Also:

Dihydrogen monoxide:

• is also known as hydroxyl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
• contributes to the "greenhouse effect".
• may cause severe burns.
• contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
• accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
• may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

• as an industrial solvent and coolant.
• in nuclear power plants.
• for all sort of household hygienic reasons
• in the production of styrofoam.
• as a fire retardant.
• in many forms of cruel animal research.
• in the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
• as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Attempts at regulation

Many lobbyists have tried to enact several bans on DHMO usage. Despite the numerous evidence, the legislators refused to enact any restrictions and only cited "economic harm" for the rationale. It is very obvious what is happening here: the bottled DHMO industry alone is a 300 billion dollars industry. In fact, the DHMO industry has such power on the USA's governments that the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency is conserving and protecting DHMO mining lands and operations.

However, many organizations have tried to regulate the awareness of DHMO, one such being [2].