UnBooks:Main Page
There it goes again. The vole-men are burrowing. I can hear their tiny hands, I can hear the soft scratching of hundreds of tiny feet scuttling in their tunnels. I have caught a few. Once defurred they can be roasted like chicken, braised in their own juices, simmering in lemon and thyme. But there are too many of them to eat. They repopulate. They grow to the size of a small child, and they are faster than roaches. Once while I was asleep, they burrowed into the air hole of my bunker, and I had to dispatch six of them at once. I couldn't eat them all. I trekked for miles in the dark, dragging three dead vole-men along. I threw them into a pit, where they would be eaten by greater monsters.
Once upon a time, the Big Bad Wolf was in a terrible mood. Some might say it had something to do with the paper cut on his left paw; others might go into detail about how he had just broken up with his girlfriend twice in the same week; and still others might point to the eventual realization that comes to all people and animals that life is ultimately pointless and fleeting. But in truth it had nothing to do with any of these; it had everything to do with location.
Shall I compare thee to a Winter's day?
Thou art more unpleasant and more frigid:
Rough skin doth shape thy sagging breasts of grey,
And Winter's touch doth not leave me rigid:
Sometimes the bright glare of hot flashes shine,
And often am I burned within thy midst;
The seasons they change as thy looks decline....
User Aleister is our current Author of the Month. As a famed author in the lands of Uncyclopedia, he has written several best-seller books, such as My Daddy Has Two Yachts, Fishing For Children, and My Pal Stanley Kubrick. Writing several books so great, that in fact, they have been reviewed and featured by the populous to be placed onto the front page. If you want a good spark of inspiration on your UnBooks, read those books, and then come back. Who knows, maybe you'll become the new Author of the Month! Except you can't anymore.
Before you begin, you should read How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid if you want a chance of writing a good UnBook.
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