UnBooks:After the Quake
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After the Quake By X95Qt
Once upon a time, there was this lunatic man with the name of Ryan, whose family was killed by a strong earthquake.
It was in the middle of a cold winter night. He had the flu, he felt delirious, so he got out of the bed to get some DHMO.
All of a sudden, the ground(or the floor?)started to shake badly, everything shattered and crumbled down within 3.1415926535897932384626433832 seconds.
Some may say that Ryan is too lucky to die as the arcade beside him protected him(this told us that arcades are good things! I just don't understand why grown-ups always do their best to prevent kids from using them).
However, all of his family except his son, Kevin, and himself were not that lucky. they had been squished and met their maker.
At that time his son was asleep and didn't feel anything. The next morning, looking at the rubble in front of him, he wonders what the heck just happened to this place.
Instead of feeling sad, Ryan, the lunatic man, he came to his son and said a few words into his ear.
Once Ryan put these words into his Kevin's head, he just laugh out loud, In fact, he laughed so loud that all his neighborhood can hear him, they think there's another phychopath in the house besides Ryan. Hence they called the police and Kevin was sent to a bedlam.
In there, a doctor asked him why he just laughed so loud that he was eventually send in here. He hold the doctor, "It's just my dad told me a crazy joke, Doc." "Oh, there is such a joke! Can you also tell me?" So he did.
Unexpectedly, he laughed wildly after hearing this, and finally vomited a lot of foam. The rescue was ineffective and he died.
Although Kevin didn't expect it, but it happened. This is often the case. What we don't want to happen always happens; what we look forward to every day just doesn't happen.
But once it happens, he still have to bear the consequences. Really, when people live, they just bear unwilling consequences for what they don't want to happen. It's boring.
Now they're in the court. Kevin is now already a little worried. He fears that there will be "consequences" after this joke is said.
So he asked all the people in court, about a hundred in total, to sign an exemption contract, that is, "irresponsible" for the consequences of this joke.
The judge announced the adjournment of the court and opened the court one day later, announcing that he accepted Kevin's opinion, so they signed the contract.
Now that there is legal protection, He told this joke. But what he didn’t expect is that the whole court totally lost it as soon as he finished speaking.
Some people were knocking on the table with laughter, others were rolling on the floor with laughter, and some were holding their stomachs hard and laughing while tears came out of pain.
It seemed to him that the old judge was still old-fashioned, motionless, sitting there steadily, closed his eyes and rested.
At the time, he really admired that people who are judges are different from my lawyers, who are not afraid of danger and calm.
Later he learned that he was dead, and everyone who heard the joke at that time died.
So Kevin instantly became a celebrity for this "lethal" joke. A TV reporter interviewed him and asked me what joke he said. It was so powerful.
He was very calm. Whether it was said, it may constitute a public violation. In case there is any idle social authoritarian group, he can't bear a class action.
The reporter praised it again and again, but later squeezed out a few tears! In fact, why doesn't he know this is just a gimmick?
But in the end he acted decisively and cooperated, saying that he would give the reporter the exclusive report and publishing rights of this joke.
After the show was broadcast, it caused a huge response across the country. Many viewers requested a replay.
Unexpectedly, a few mysterious plainclothes suddenly broke into Kevin's bedroom in the dead of night and dragged Kevin into a dark room.
After a long time, suddenly a bright beam of light hit Kevin's face. He barely opened his eyes, stunned. Because the person in front of him is the only person in this country who may be as well-known as me.
Yes, he didn't see it wrong. The PRESIDENT. The most powerful human among people around the world.
The president obviously didn’t intend to tell him more. He just told Kevin about the purpose of "arresting" him. It’s very simple. "Let me record this joke and send it to the dictator of a hostile country in the Middle East through the inside line to laugh them to death..."
Kevin said that this is impossible. This is a political murder. More importantly, it is clearly beyond the power of the president as the highest executive head. It is unconstitutional.
The president grabbed him by the collar, led him up, and roared: "Do you really believe in the separation of powers?"
Kevin couldn't help it. At this moment, he was full of difficulties in the background of the first case of the Constitution, so he agreed to his request, but at the same time, he said that his joke belongs to a weapon of mass destruction and cannot be targeted and used on civilians.
The president agreed, so, reluctantly, in that small room, he recorded the joke.
He saw the faint smile of Mr. President, Kevin knew it at that time. Politicians are really not good things.
Sure enough, two weeks later, the president announced that he had mastered the key technology of the joke and successfully used it in the desert area (successfully laughed at 314 death row prisoners.)
This news caused an uproar in the international community. Many countries panicked. Some other countries that once opposed our president were scattered and stepped down.
International military experts also gave this phenomenon a name, "Laughter Deterrence."
Just when the President was proud, a country in the East announced that it also mastered the joke, and finally he knew that the person who first told me the joke had taken refuge in that country. So there is a "laugh balance" between these countries.
Decades ago, April 1st, which was April Fool’s Day of the previous century, unfortunately and what Kevin had been worried about finally happened. A terrorist organization in the Middle East didn’t know how to steal the joke technology and hijacked our national TV station. , Broadcast this joke to the whole country.
Civilization has been destroyed as never before, and people no longer have confidence in the future.
The United Nations had to convene a conference of major heads of state around the world, and finally made a major decision that led to the birth of this world:
Set April 1st as April Fool's Day.
In this way, people are wary of everything that day, knowing that it is not true, and taking everybody seriously, that’s fine. That joke, like any other unbelievable sentence, is not lethal.
Decades passed. Before Kevin leave this world, as a witness to history, he supposed that it is necessary to tell everyone this joke... crazy, lethal, and all starts after the Quake that had happened a long time before.
Here it is.
"You're so unlucky that you didn't experience the terror then...so let's wait for another."