Pocket

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A pocket eating an iPhone for lunch.

Pockets are naturally occurring entities in pants, dinner jackets, possums, opossums, buttoned shirts, extra-large brassieres, and kangaroos. Because of the ravages of natural selection, some pockets have become highly skilled in the art of camouflage and can lurk just about anywhere while carrying immense quantities of illegal drugs and unmarked credit cards. Pockets have been used since the beginning of time for the short-term storage of stuff, small things, and other crap. Empty pockets may be used for the temporary warming of cold hands and the popular sport of pocket pool. However, everybody knows the main reason pockets exist is so that men can "ajust" their genitals in public without anybody noticing, or at least give men the feeling that no one knows what they are doing. Everybody of course does.

In Females[edit | edit source]

The pocket is non-existent in the majority of females. This i=often assumed to be because it causes them to look bulkier, obscuring their curves. Therefore, men are less likely to mate with them, and via the power of natural selection, most females lack pockets. However, this is only the "formal" explanation, supported by "science".

Яussian Conspiracy[edit | edit source]

According to Kooky Mel, since the dawn of time, Яussians have been on a secret campaign to rid the world of all pockets. They have focused on eliminating them from females due to them being less protective of their body parts. They have collaborated with Queen Elizabeth, fashion cartels, the god of ears, and Larry to achieve nigh total elimination of women's pockets.

See Also[edit | edit source]