Indecisiveness

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Uhh. This article is about indecisiveness. I think you were looking for this, but I don't know.

You cannot go both ways.

Indecisiveness or indecision is the inability to decide. It's your decision to believe this. I'm not kidding. Or am I? This inability is experienced by all people but in different extents. As determined by numerous local studies, indecisiveness is encountered every hour by 65% of the North American population on mainly multiple choice tests, voting booths, 50% Off! shopping sprees, and when to check what time it is. Not all of the studies have come to the same conclusion. About 10% of studies show that indecisiveness is caused by an external factor, not contained to our minds.

History[edit | edit source]

Ask me again in 5 minutes.
“Alright. What was the first thing you said?”

Indecisiveness is described best by this author:

Yes, it's that hard. Well, not that hard.

The first undecidable question[edit | edit source]

Scientists and theorists are currently studying the origin of indecision. They determined that the first occurrence of indecisiveness is during the times of the Stone Age regarding the famous invention, the wheel. When the first stone carvers made the round, circular stone wheel, they faced a problem. The scientific community posed a hypothesis that the carvers' question was:

Do you take Visa?

Ways to deal with indecision[edit | edit source]

“False. I mean true. I mean false.”

~ Survey respondent on what times are spent sleeping

There are ways to deal with indecisiveness. Some ways include die-rolling, flipping toast, and picking coins out of a hat. Here are popular methods that have been found effective.

Two-sided die[edit | edit source]

The two-sided die is usually used to make a “yes or no” type of decision. This die is usually thrown in the air above someone's head. If the die falls on “heads,” then the result is “yes.” Otherwise, the result is “no.” When used properly, almost all of the indecisiveness is removed from the user's situation. However, without a die, indecision increases proportionally to time.

Asking on a website forum[edit | edit source]

I'm not sure what to do.

A website forum is extremely useful for decisions that may have multiple outcomes. Someone with indecisiveness can simply browse the Internet to a forum and simply ask their question. Here is a short example (includes mouse-over tooltip notes on some parts):

Teh leet fora

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST BEFORE POSTING

nned help
ha ha i neeb
heys, i need help on something
TheLSkills
Extreme Leet Hacker
Read the top of the page before posting, thanks!
Your friendly guides
irc #leet
“n00!” ~ SudoR00T
nned help
ha ha i neeb
i think i broke my floopy drive, where do i buy a new one
SudoR00T
root admin#
you are so in for a perma-ban!1
nned help
ha ha i neeb
ok, im going to by a perma-band flopy drive then, thanks guys :)

Another decision successfully made!

Win the lottery[edit | edit source]

Oh my gosh! I'm doing outcome number six!

This method requires purchasing some lottery tickets. A person using this method will think of a situation and several possible outcomes or decisions. Assign each outcome a number starting from zero. Purchase a ticket and wait until the the numbers are published. Next, match the number of winning numbers to your assigned outcomes. For example, if you have 4 of the winning numbers matching your ticket, then do outcome #4. Finally, discard the ticket (preferably into the recycle bin).

The Automagic Decider 1.0[edit | edit source]

The Automagic Decider is a recently developed technology that actually is able to pick what you think that you might like! Its advanced random number generator is totally biased and completely sane for everyday use.

  • For purchase inquiries, please see your local unadmins “hi-techno” shop available in the intranetallic nodes of the intertube connectory listings.*

*Not available in all IP addresses

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Today...

Page improvements[edit | edit source]

Meals[edit | edit source]

  • Your breakfast will consist of: Fresh steak with a side of waffles. Mmm! Delicious or mouth-watering? Uh. Sure.
    • This meal is to be repeated when necessary. Uncyclo's orders!

Social[edit | edit source]

  • Renew your friendship with that huge Bizzeebeever who badly pandered your spine.
    • That's alright – that's huge!
  • Go Ninja hunting today. Remember to bring plenty of hard sticks of gum because that monster might be in human-modelling state.
  • Pour some sweet chilli sauce opposite your friend's turquoise elbows.
  • Claim you sighted a Narf in Muskogean Kingdom to get some attention, but you didn't have your rifle. (In actuality, all you saw was some badger in a panic room.)

Sleep[edit | edit source]

  • You will prepare to sleep at: 7:40 PM
  • Brush your teeth: No. Fresh steak breath.
  • Wait 10 minutes before jumping in bed
    • Lights out after 9 minutes.


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See also[edit | edit source]