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Uncyclopedia:VFH/queue

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Below are the articles which have passed VFH and are currently in the feature queue, awaiting placement on the front page. Articles should change over automatically at 12:00am UTC. You may need to refresh the page if it doesn't seem current. If you're really desperate you can use the button below to feature a Quasi-featured article that you think is good enough for the main page.

For Admins only: Feature an article

Queued articles are found in {{Featuredarticle/queue}}. Don't edit it directly to feature articles. Do this instead.

Current time: 8:36pm, 3 February 2026 UTC
Time until switchover: 3 hours (refresh)

Monday, 2 February (-1 day) Tuesday, 3 February (today's feature) Wednesday, 4 February (+1 day) Thursday, 5 February (+2 days) Friday, 6 February (+3 days)
No feature on this day No current feature. Tell an admin on Discord. No feature queued No feature queued
Jrrt 1972 pipe.jpg

You are wasting this internet site's time. You should be writing something, but instead you are just sitting there, waiting for it to entertain you. You could even be the Time Magazine Person of the Year. Don't you have any sense of responsibility? How can you live with yourself? Think about all the times you've laughed heartily at some passing rejoinder in the forums, guffawed mightily at a clever turn of phrase on your talkpage, or even politely smiled at some article during your favorite Uncyclopedia program: HumorSearch. Don't you think you owe it to this wiki to put in at least a semblance of effort to return the favor? You should cease and desist all extraneous and benign activity and write an article.

Okay, that was incredibly rude, mate. Firstly, I think you should be the one writing the article, seeing as you are the one who bloody gives a damn. Secondly, by caring about what I do with every second of my precious time spent on Uncyclopedia and forming an essay on what I should be doing, you have wasted more of the common people's time than I could ever imagine. Thirdly, how can you live with yourself? You think yourself funny, don't you? Well I don't. You are an idiot and have problems. Bugger off.

What? Who says "bugger" besides Captain Price? Probably some British creeper. British creeper, whoever you are, you need to "bugger" off, you filthy "wanker"!(Full article...)