Uncyclopedia:VFH/queue
Below are the articles which have passed VFH and are currently in the feature queue, awaiting placement on the front page. Articles should change over automatically at 12:00am UTC. You may need to the page if it doesn't seem current. If you're really desperate you can use the button below to feature a Quasi-featured article that you think is good enough for the main page.
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Current time: 5:49pm, 22 January 2026 UTC
Time until switchover: 6 hours ()
| Wednesday, 21 January (-1 day) | Thursday, 22 January (today's feature) | Friday, 23 January (+1 day) | Saturday, 24 January (+2 days) | Sunday, 25 January (+3 days) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| No feature on this day | No feature queued | No feature queued | No feature queued | |
 The microwave oven is a rectangular box, usually white in color, which is used to heat up random objects such as tin foil, doll heads, frogs, and other small creatures. Microwave ovens are found in kitchens all over the world, and have been featured in thousands of online videos made by middle school aged teens. Microwaves have also been recognized as the head chef of many establishments, such as Olive Garden. Often called a nuclear oven as opposed to a conventional oven, this infernal device could only be conceived by the cruelest minds in the DEEPEST PITS OF HELL, most undoubtedly conceived by such abhorrid demon philosophers as Heinrich Himmler, Jack the Ripper, and Al Gore, in a fashion that Lucifer's own damned, radiating evilness served as a rudimentary template of unholy culinary design, the microwave is an ingenious yet simple device used to burn food around the edges, turn bacon into rubber, make biscuits into hockey pucks, burn water, create civil unrest in African countries, stale a newly opened can of Guinness, cancel your favorite TV sitcom, interrupt your wireless internet connection, excommunicate the Pope, and explode hamsters by zapping them with rays of concentrated evil. Rays of concentrated evil cause atoms to become angry, thus raising their temperatures. When turned on, a microwave oven goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! (Full article...) |