Uncyclopedia:VFH/queue
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Current time: 1:56pm, 5 November 2024 UTC
Time until switchover: 10 hours ()
| Monday, 4 November (-1 day) | Tuesday, 5 November (today's feature) | Wednesday, 6 November (+1 day) | Thursday, 7 November (+2 days) | Friday, 8 November (+3 days) |
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 Glorious Turkmenistan was one of the poultry republics that broke away from the USSR and, despite what partial nations claim, it has a long and glorious history; as long and glorious as that of Germany or the Ottoman Empire. Turkmenistan was the predecessor state to the Turkmen Empire before Turkmenistan won the Tatar War. The Tatar War was a large scale conflict where Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow used horses to remake the Mongol Empire. Unhindered by his physical death on December 22, 2006, Turkmenistan continues to be ruled by Glorious President-for-life-and-afterlife Saparmurat Niyazov known locally as the Turkmenbashi or Great Leader of the Turkmen. It is Niyazov who made Turkmenistan the best nation the world has ever known during the happy years of his mortal presence as Glorious President. (Full article...) |
 Jimmy Whiteman is the current dictator of Jamaica and Panama, where his crime family is currently headquartered. Well known for his criminal expertise, it's thought that Whiteman and his crime family have literally robbed everything in the world. Perhaps his most famous robbery is his heist on the Pentagon, where he literally stole the building. Jimmy Whiteman birthed himself out of a can of beans on July 4, 1969. The young Whiteman said his first words a couple seconds after birth, in which he simply said; "Motherfucker." What this means is unknown. At the ripe age of 3 days old, Whiteman gave a wedgie to another toddler, which was later revealed to be Donald Trump. Whiteman shouted expletives at Trump and ran off, going into hiding. The F.B.I. immediately made Whiteman one of the Top 10 Most Wanted due to Trump's father giving the F.B.I. a small loan of one million dollars. After about three months of hiding in some shithole town in Idaho, Whiteman paid off the F.B.I. using a treasure chest full of gold doubloons. Soon after this, Whiteman swam from the United States to Vietnam to fight in the ongoing war. Whiteman washed on the shores of Vietnam and was immediately captured by NVA troops. (Full article...) |
 Some Republicans now have a theory that Taylor Swift is actually a secret "psy-op" operation, probably because the only logical explanation for her massive popularity is that she's an undercover CIA and Pentagon agent. I mean, young people couldn’t possibly just like her music and support progressive values on their own... it has to be a government plot! Before this revelation about Taylor Swift’s covert role as a CIA and Pentagon agent, her rise to fame seemed almost too perfect. A girl-next-door country singer transforms into a global pop sensation with an ever-growing army of dedicated fans? Suspicious, to say the least. As she climbed the charts, her music reached millions worldwide, but what we didn’t realize was that this meteoric success was no coincidence—it was meticulously orchestrated from deep within the halls of the U.S. government. (Full article...) |