Uncyclopedia:VFH/queue
Below are the articles which have passed VFH and are currently in the feature queue, awaiting placement on the front page. Articles should change over automatically at 12:00am UTC. You may need to the page if it doesn't seem current. If you're really desperate you can use the button below to feature a Quasi-featured article that you think is good enough for the main page.
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Current time: 10:25am, 22 March 2026 UTC
Time until switchover: 14 hours ()
| Saturday, 21 March (-1 day) | Sunday, 22 March (today's feature) | Monday, 23 March (+1 day) | Tuesday, 24 March (+2 days) | Wednesday, 25 March (+3 days) |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| No feature on this day | No feature queued | No feature queued | ||
 You feel an emptiness inside you, a deep pit in your soul that nothing man-made can fill. How many years has it been since you felt her hair running through your fingers? None of that matters. The only thing that makes you happy now is garlic bread. You know it’s bad for your health, and you know it smells like the underpants of a sweaty Gondola rower, but you can’t help yourself. |
 Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them. Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...) |