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- 5000 B.C. - first dingo arrives in Australia. Says dingo: "Man, I'm hungry. Could sure go for something chewy and defenseless."
- 3020 B.C. - Dingo's successfully mate with a Wallaby. The Dallawingoby young, a Wingodollajoeyhopper, is found to be delicious when BBQ'd, insuring quick extinction.
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson releases happiness at 11am.
- 1777 - Thomas Jefferson releases packs of Dingoes into the Virgina wilderness. These same Dingoes are later accredited with the eminination of the Roanoke Settlement.
- 1918 - Bolshevik revolutionary leader Moisei Uritsky is assassinated. Dingos are suspected.
- 1980 - "Ah Dingo Ate Moy Baybee!"
- 1984 - Happiness is prohibited by the ISoPT.
- 1986 - A pack of rabid Dingoes invade and devour the city of Syndey Austrailia.
- 1988 - Pakistani President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq and US Ambassador Arnold Raphel are killed in a plane crash. And then eaten by dingos.
- 1988 - The legendary Alex Cross was born in Redhill, Surrey, UK. He then roundhouse-kicked a dingo in the face when it tried to eat him.
- 1997 - Rabid packs of Dingoes win parlamentary elections in Austrailian run-off elections.
- 1999 - Nothing happens.
- 2004 - Alex Cross beat Chuck Norris in a fight, but Chuck Norris, with his last ounce of strength, roundhouse-kicked himself back in time to avoid being in a fight with someone far superior.
- 2006 - President George W Bush is confused on why the farmer would name his dog "Dingo". Puppet Master Cheney tries to explain, but then gets fed up and shoots a friend in the face.
- 2009 - Mount Everest a splode.