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From today's featured article 

TurkmenCoat.png

Glorious Turkmenistan was one of the poultry republics that broke away from the USSR and, despite what partial nations claim, it has a long and glorious history; as long and glorious as that of Germany or the Ottoman Empire. Turkmenistan was the predecessor state to the Turkmen Empire before Turkmenistan won the Tatar War. The Tatar War was a large scale conflict where Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow used horses to remake the Mongol Empire. Unhindered by his physical death on December 22, 2006, Turkmenistan continues to be ruled by Glorious President-for-life-and-afterlife Saparmurat Niyazov known locally as the Turkmenbashi or Great Leader of the Turkmen. It is Niyazov who made Turkmenistan the best nation the world has ever known during the happy years of his mortal presence as Glorious President. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer?
  • ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
  • ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
  • ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
  • ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?

In the news 

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For the first time in years, no US presidential candidate has obtained a single [electoral] vote.

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Aaron Rodgers screwing over the New York Jets • The New York Yankees' World Series win drought, courtesy of the Dodgers
Recent deaths: Liam Payne • The chances of a One Direction reunion • Yahya Sinwar • Phil Lesh • Eurovision Song Contest • Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Your fantasy football team's playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay

On this day 

Uh oh... Government go boom.

November 5: Remember, remember, the fifth of November: Explode The Government Day (Britain)

  • 1605 - The Parliament building fails to explode.
  • 1854 - Anonymous inventor skinned while testing early hydraulic barber chair.
  • 1900 - Despite widespread panic and rumors in proposition, Big Ben doesn't explode, but the Prime Minister does.
  • 1984 - Despite the Brotherhood's efforts, Big Brother is not wounded in a suicide bombing. Lets thank him for increasing our chocolate to 20 grams!
  • 1987 - Margaret Thatcher's imminent Silent But Deadly reaches critical mass and explodes in her intestine.
  • 2022 - Some guy wearing a mask in London blows some shit up, rioting doesn't ensue (it's England NOT France)

Picture of the day

The Fifth Horseman
 "Who's Afwaid of a Widdle Apokowips?"

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 38,287 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.

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