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151 active editors • 39,080 articles in English

From today's featured article 

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For every 10 production workers a company has, there needs to be at least one employee who stands there with his arms folded and watches them. However, in modern times, it's not uncommon to have a single yet highly devoted control freak to supervise scores of employees. HowTo: Be A Production Manager is the perfect guide for anyone who finds themselves thrown into this lucrative position through nepotism, extortion or influential friends.

A Production Manager essentially acts as the liaison between the office staff and the dregs of society known as production workers. The unpleasant part of the job is that sales and management are able to use you as the focal point of their rage, due to the inherent responsibilities of the position, and the traditional purpose of the Production Manager is to transfer that abuse to the bottom of the employee food chain. When you play your cards right, everyone will be fighting amongst themselves and the winds of blame shall never touch your sails. (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ...that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
  • ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
  • ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
  • ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
  • ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?

In the news 

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Artistic impression of the new tanks.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomDavid LynchBob UeckerDame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: PhiladelphiaTravis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this timeBashar al‑AssadDiddy's freedomJay‑Z's career and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonYour New Year's resolutionsLos AngelesLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worse

On this day 

Justice for Han

February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day

Picture of the day

Piglet's Mugshot
...the Hundred Acre Wood-wide police crackdown netted Piglet, shown here in his mugshot after being charged with vagrancy, operating a wheelbarrow while intoxicated, hunting woozles without a licence, smuggling of unpasteurized honey across state lines...

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 39,080 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.