User talk:Puppy/Archive 2

Archive 1 Archive 2 Archive 3

Feel free to whore your works and stuff below. This is a welcome whore zone - otherwise I'll probably miss it...

Pup t 02:46, 31/08/2009

Archiving 101

Let's say my user talk page is getting longer than I want it to be and I want to archive it. Here are three questions.

• First, how do I do it? Do I create a new page named User talk:USERNAME/Archive 1 and then copy and past my ready-to-be-archived user page there? Or is there some special move function?
• Second, when I do archive it, does it save only my current talk page and not 500 pages of earlier versions of my user talk page?
• Three, are you really a Puppy and are you really on the radio?

DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 05:15, 31 August 2009 (UTC)

1. At the top of the screen id a move tab. This is used to move a page from one location to another (say User talk:PuppyOnTheRadio to User talk:PuppyOnTheRadio/Archive 3
2. After it's moved it gives you a link back to where it was moved from. If you end up redirecting, then under the title of the page that you've redirected to is a link with a redirect suppress.
3. You then edit this page so that it has the code in it you want.
4. Orian then comes along and throws paint all over your nice clean user_talk page.

If it's done right the history comes across with it. If it's done badly you still have the history, but it may be attached to your talk page, not the archive version. (But you want to keep the historical versions - sometime helps work out who really said what to whom.)

• I'm the one on your left, and my radio is on the right. I have no idea who the guy in the ugly grey dressing gown is... File:PuppyOnTheRadio_and_some_guy.JPG Pup t 10:04, 31/08/2009

Thanks for your help! I'll try that. Also thanks for saying you'd vote for the Brooke Shields article for VFH. Right now five people have voted for it and none against. I don't know if that's enough, but whether it makes it or not it's great having people vote for it. Thanks a lot! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:47, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

Egad!

After a weekend of relative absence, I come back to see that the Pee queue is even more out of control than when I last looked at it. I don't know if you're still gung ho about clearing through that, though I'll certainly be helping you if your are, because, quite frankly, the current situation is ridiculous. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 12:21, 31 August 2009 (UTC)

The Misunderstood

I'm happy you are doing the review. Please Google "I Can Take You To The Sun" to see the extent of the song's fame. It (song) even has it's own page on Wiki. Late John Peel, OBE, famous UK BBC DJ told that my getting drafted from London, and the destruction of the band, was the BIGGEST sorrow of his entire life. And he wasn't even in the band. Some how I overcame 12 years as a fugitive in India, living as a monk, and eventually got a pardon. But the whole thing is a good enough story to be a published book and a movie in process. I'll be glad to send you the eBook as a pdf. Otherwise it's sold on amazon in hard-bound as "Like Misunderstood". On the Misunderstood Uncyclopedia page I had to put a few of the many accolades, just to be taken seriously (it's not a vanity thing, it's a "proof" thing - I mean, there's nothing funny about a lousy band not making it). Please listen to "I Can Take You To The Sun" before you'll get the whole joke. Real bummer, bro! So what else to do with a bummer than laugh? I want this page to be good as possible, and I'm not qualified to do that. So please feel free to edit anything that's no good. Thanks for your time and advice.--Funnybony 12:52, 31 August 2009 (UTC)

Bro, I added an excerpt from the novel, etc

Please check it out again before reviewing. It's better now. Yaosir!!!--Funnybony 18:11, 31 August 2009 (UTC)

Bro! I can see you guys have a real work load. I would do some reviews. but after reading other-reviews I know I'm not qualified to advise others. I took all the Pee review advice, made the story silly but more factual, added somne funny nonsense, also added a few accolades to remove any question of vanity page or non-notability. And I removed lots of fat. I also added a excerpt from the band's bio (just a few paras) which might appear too commercial, but really I'm giving barest information, so it's no hype. You are free to edit out anything you think.

If you think the article is alright as is to be worthy of being nominated then I would appreciate if you could put it up for nom. If you have time, rather than doing a review, if you could just edit through the article removing anything the "committee" might object to. Please edit first, unless there is nothing to edit.

Those Pee reviews are really a LOT of work as I see you guys get into detailed advising. It would be easier to edit the article, rather than explain to me. And if not good enough for feature, then what needs to be done? Much appreciated your help it is!---Yoda--Funnybony 16:41, September 2, 2009 (UTC)

Heya

	Reviewer of the Month August 2009

-- Roman Dog Bird 00:50, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

Congratulations! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:35, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

w00t!

Pup t 03:33, 1/09/2009

Peed on POOF

	The article UnNews:An Open Letter from "Protect the Overtly Offensive Foundation" has been reviewed by Miley Spears(talk)
	Version as at 04:31, 21 August 2009	PEE review

I hope you don't mind me ripping off your Pee Review box, but I like it. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:33, 1 September 2009 (UTC)

Do you mind me ripping it off too? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  18:49, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Bad Doggy

I see you vandalised my user page. Bad, bad doggy! Where's my rolled up newspaper? What? You peed on it? Why do I need to provide this? 17:59, September 3, 2009 (UTC)

Brooke Shields Says Good Puppy

User:Miley Spears/Vote Brooke Shields Thanks for voting for. I'm sorry if my subtle reminders weren't too subtle! lol DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:06, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

See at the top of the page. I have no issue with reminders, subtle or blatant. This is a welcome whore zone, so you're welcome.

Ah, maybe that didn't come out right. Pup t 07:41, 4/09/2009

Oh my god! You just called Miley a crack whore! How did you know? I thought she hid it quite well.    Orian57    Talk   11:54 4 September 2009

I'm trying to see where I used the word crack. A crack whore is a woman who sleeps with men for the drugs, a whore is a woman who sleeps with men potentially without any reward beyond the sex. And a craic whore is someone who sleeps with people as a joke. Needless to say, craic whore is a concept that has never really caught on. Pup t 02:04, 5/09/2009

You getting all this Miley? He thinks it'd be funny if you fucked him. Actually it would be funny if he got AIDS.    Orian57    Talk   02:24 5 September 2009

Actually, this joke has me stuffed, as there is absolutely no way that I can think of coming back to this without either being really sleazy, or also really offensive. Take a bow there, young man Pup t 03:58, 8/09/2009 I should sue you all for sexual harrassment! But instead, I'm just giving you a big SPANKING! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 04:09, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

Just a bit further to the left please! Pup t 04:12, 8/09/2009

The Misunderstood

Bro! I really appreciate all the advice. And I'll be following EVERY suggestion... hopefully with your kind help. I'll be having some questions for you and sending you some revisions for comment if that is alright!? This band, as you say, is in a unique situation because it was a musical tragedy for the whole world, and many people think that, especially the music critics. So blaming karma is the only way to make a bummer funny.

BTW: You got me started thinking about Baby Boomers so I did a piece I hope you like (and even edit and contribute). It has potential I think. But needs expert help. Thanks again, and I'll be working on that starting NOW... And please don't be surprised if I'm in touch. Good-on-ya, mate!--Funnybony 08:32, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

I love Baby Boomers. I'm likely to make a couple of minor changes to it, but probably not just yet. It is by far your best work yet! Pup t 08:39, 4/09/2009

Great I am getting the hang of it slowly. I'm really a musician, gemologist and designer, no qualification in comedy. But I have a sense of humor. NOTE: The Misunderstood has been up for almost 2 years, at first it was just HTBSANJF style. Only in the last few months did I rewrite the "karma" angle. If you check the history of The Misunderstood, and restore the old version, maybe it's better? Or maybe combine the two versions (if that's possible?). Thanks, Pup!--Funnybony 19:23, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4th September

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The newspaper that missed an issue and no-one even noticed.

Date September something-or-other, 2009 • Issue 63 • Nobody reads this bit anyway

Left alone to write the entire UnSignpost, Ape delivers sub-par, mostly self-referential issue By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays "What happened to the signpost?" was the question on literally nobody's lips this week, as Uncyclopedia's favourite newspaper which everyone loves to read but no-one can be bothered to write for took another step on the long slow descent to obscurity. Unfortunately Fortunately, Uncyclopedia's premier Ape-based entertainer, and occasional UnSignpost writer, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays heroically stepped into the breach to save the flagging newsrag from going the way of the dodo, the Irish Elk, and Mhaille's marriage. However, our intrepid hero, i.e. me, soon discovered the enormity of the task that lay ahead of him. Boxes had to be filled, interesting and thought-provoking forums had to be discovered and linked to, block logs had to be accessed and trawled for witty comments (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) and this article and presumably another one below it had to be written. "I never thought it could be this hard," Ape told himself, with sexual innuendo very much intended. "How did Gerrycheevers keep finding stuff to write about? There doesn't really seem to be much happening around here. I mean, I could start whoring my newest articles under the flimsy guise of self-referential irony, but that would be shit really. Who wants to see that? Nobody, that's who." However, in the absence of anything funny or clever to say, our hero, (who is gradually being revealed to be more of an anti-hero, like Alex in A Clockwork Orange, except with no sense of style) proceeded to do exactly that, shamelessly whoring two articles (which, if anything, evince his decline as a comedy writer), eliciting a universal chorus of groans and boos from all who had the misfortune to read it. An appeal to the Uncyclopedia community By An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Seriously guys, if you don't want any more shitty issues like this I'm going to need help, or else the signpost is going to die like all the other well-intentioned projects that nobody bothers with. What we need is: People to do interesting stuff that I can write about. People to contribute to the signpost. Fabulous prizes. Thank you for your time.

Check out these pages! Does anyone think we should fuck up Pee Review? Hyperbole fails to understand UN:N The FBI are pedos? From our logs: 23:23, September 1, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.81.7.211 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (THat FAG JUST WOULDN`T STOP SUCKING MY COCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) 13:08, September 1, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 131.6.84.110 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking a WCW article? do you know how much of a moron that flags you up as?) 08:32, September 2, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a minor existential crisis ‎ (wait, so we DON'T care about people's gay friends? but I thought that was the whole POINT. what's the use in anything any more? I'm so disillusioned) 09:13, September 2, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Under user (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a debate ‎ (Are you gay then? You seem gay to me. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Unless you sleep with Orian. Do you? Are you gay then?) 09:26, September 2, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a riposte ‎ (no wai, im not ghey, ive had lodes and lodes of chix. ur just jelus bcos ur mum's ghey. and ur dad. yeah, you herd, their both teh gheyz!) 21:09, September 1, 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.0.51.13 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (well fuck off then, wanker) Biopic of the Week Can't be fucked with this. Old School Featured Article of The Week Pot v. Kettle was a landmark case in USA history, giving people the right to make hypocritical statements without fear of retribution. It began as a civil rights case, as Kettle alleged that Pot "did not let [Kettle] work at the Pot's store solely for the color of [his] kitchenware". What made this Supreme Court case unique was the fact that the Pot himself was black, as was the Kettle. Nostalgia Box Remember when Gerry was here? Things were so much better back then.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- Soldat Teh PWNerator (pwnt!) 16:55, September 4, 2009 (UTC)

Tell me a Story

Please. always mindful of my manners. User:Orian57/sigt8 22:31 4 September 2009

Once upon a time there was a little froggy who was living on a lilypad. He was a very small froggy, and the lilypad was rather large, so to him the lilypad was his entire world. Sure, he had vague memories of being a polliwog, of swimming in the water, and crawling onto the pad way back when, but they were vague memories, almost like a dream.
But this little froggy was different from all other froggies, because he has a dream. He dreamed one day of jumping out of his lilypad, and out into the unknown. So he practised, everyday, to get his legs stronger. He started by joggin on the spot, and then doing star jumps. He went on a strict diet of dragonflies and pondwater. Up and down he bounced all day long.
And then one day he was bouncing up and down, and he bounced so high he could see the next lilypad from his. He kept bouncing higher, until he could see all the way around the pond, to the reeds at the sides. He kept bouncing, going higher and higher, until he could see beyond the reeds, and into the field stretching away from the pond.
Unfortunately that meant that he could also be seen by the farmer in the field, who could see how meaty and muscular the froggies legs were. The froggie finally lived out his froggy dream of getting beyond his lilypad, and was sold to the local French restaurant for $22, and eaten. And the diner's lived happily ever after.
The End.

I liked that. Thank you. Now, tuck me in.    Orian57    Talk   02:31 5 September 2009

Good night, princess. Sweet dreams. Kiss nights. slurp schlup shcwimmm p'toong. Oh, you had chicken for lunch. ~~

Mummy, Daddy called me a girl again!    Orian57    Talk   02:39 5 September 2009

I wonder how I could have been confused. Pup t 02:47, 5/09/2009

Well you took that completely out of context. I want my lawyer.    Orian57    Talk   02:50 5 September 2009

The answer is no.

You get one vote total. Just make your self-against be a comment. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 03:44, September 5, 2009 (UTC)

Thought so. Happy to leave it as is... same effect in the long run. Pup t 03:51, 5/09/2009

Baby Boomer SAT

Brilliant!!! BTW: If you have a chance please see The Misunderstood as I did all changes as best I could and keep it funny (and totally deleted the book excerpt). I mean, the very word "bummer" is already funny (unless it's YOUR bummer). Thanks and appreciation.--Funnybony 17:05, September 6, 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, being slack on this... Have a look at it over the next 24-48, promise - POTR

Dude, Baby Boomers is getting buried under Pee requests that are really piling up, and a burden for you guys. I'm sure you'd prefer to be writing your own articles.

I was going to do my first Pee Review attempt with the Teleprompter spoof, but it was perfect. So I just nominated it, rather than make up some faults. After so much advice I really think Baby Boomer is close to ready. Your welcome to edit anything, and the test formatting is way beyond me. Looks super. If you feel it's worth nominating please do so (after your edits, that is). I have written over 20 articles for Uncyclopedia, and Baby Boomers is the first solid one. Thanks for you kind help--Funnybony 20:55, September 13, 2009 (UTC)

FA 4

Quick! Add Number Bases to the menu bar! And sincere congratulations! Sir MacMania GUN—[17:20 6 Sep 2009]

UnSignpost Randomber 6th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The only newspaper that Codeine's mum has randomized

Date August 27th, 2009: THE RANDOM ISSUE • Issue 62 • Because the truth is not random enough

Random Headline By No one in particular == Licensing == At 10:16 a.m., homologies added a carriage. While raccoon was constructing, an automobile suddenly eaten. Death called. You were out. I gave him your pager number. The King of the Internet hears blocking policy! Wizard approves a clever trick! KITTENS' WHITE PEOPLE'! Absolutely not, leopard approves salad forks! Did the king ruffle... ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? In general, 999'd in the upside-down world out skulls criminal monopoly across daggers a unemployed bum Betty Jo Yow! 0 immense better trapped under a glass dome Slithzerikai proven a urologist to sniff loomas hezmana . roflcopter!!11!one Babe Ruth was a total Bitch! By The Woodburninator Look, I'm not saying he wasn't good at baseball! I'm not trying to destroy your great baseball heroes. But let's not kid ourselves here. Babe Ruth was a complete and total bitch. Come on. He couldn't catch the ball. And he whined at the umpires when people called him fat (even though he totally was). And he always talked about how much his feelings were hurt by people trying to buy him a beer. Signpost Has Gone Officially Bat fuck Insane By Bad Shroom Due to frequent lack of interest and excitement, this UnSignpost issue has now gone totally insa-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! Genital wart in the left politician! BOMB IRAN! HEIL CAJEK! Turkish. Casey Scanlon.

Random articles of the week HowTo: Use the Random page button to your advantage in a newspaper Random logs: 19:51, September 3, 2009 TheLedBalloon blocked 91.106.217.157 with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (I agree, File:Deletion icon.svg is totally racist and should be deleted. Talk:Black People, on the other hand, I'm pretty much fine with.) 09:47, August 30, 2009 Mordillo protected "WP:HOTCAT" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (there, no more redlinks) (hist) 10:22, August 22, 2009 Thekillerfroggy blocked Miley Spears with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (pointlessly productive, dedicated user) Random Biopic of the Week The man, the myth, the user not many people really know. Random pipings was an active user way back in March 2006. Sure, he only had 46 edits. Sure, during his heyday in March, 2006 he only had 32 edits, which most of our more accomplished users can rack up in half an hour. And yes, only 3 of his 6 articles are still around, including the critically acclaimed Health. But, in spite of all that, he has a place in our great wiki here. Because even though he's not around, and his articles are not beloved, everyone can find a niche here, and that's exactly what Random pipings has done. I mean, how many other great men could have made a "Your mom", "Oscar Wilde", and "David Hasslehoff" joke in one fell swoop? Not many I say, and for that, Random pipings, we salute you. Here's to the little guy. Huzzah! #695D96 box Eat that, lummoxs! Random colour! Hahaha!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Above all, please think of the paedophile rackets! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:18, 7 September 2009

Prehistoric Thanks

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for making my article a feature

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:28, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

---

Issac the tank engine

You might have noticed that I unfeatured the article. Real sorry about the mess, but I think we dropped to a level of VFH voting we haven't been at for over three years. I am sorry that your article was the one that got in the way. Also, you might want to add yourself here. ~ 22:52, September 8, 2009 (UTC)

That's great you're in UN:HS! But I think withdrawing this as featured sucks. I'm going to post something on Moridllo's talk page. Don't worry I'll say you had nothing to do with me commenting and didn't even know I was going to do it. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:37, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Ummm... I had nothing to do with your commenting and I didn't knowyou were going to do it... and I'm scared to go and look now. However, I appreciate the thought, but it's not an issue. And I haven't joined HS yet... have to do that this evening... Pup t 03:04, 9/09/2009

I became the plague of Uncyclopedia that you need to gear yourself up to talk with me? :) ~ 07:53, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

POOF PEE II

I'm commenting before rereading my Pee Review, so I can see how I feel now not last week. I feel your article's definitely better! I still would like the first sentence to end with the punchline as "free speech and misinformation" instead of "misinformation and free speech." I love the picture of the boy with the knife in the socket and even the red lined misspelling "stoopid." This is definitely the new, improved first pic. Sorry, still don't like "obscenititties," but I'm almost starting to like not having "to worry about" what you'll find when you click on your "favourites." I really think you've improved the letter! But still it has things like "on-line" in quotes, and phrase like "the amount of censorship that’s has been taking place on the networks" mixed in with well-worded, educated-sounding sentences. I think if you want the guy to sound like he's going over his own head, more of the mis-wordings in the letter while trying to sound impressive would be good. And I almost got the image "HowTo: Play the Bongos with your Genitalia" out of my head and now it's back again! :P

A couple more comments after rereading my Pee Review. "How can you help" I like much better. "Open Letter to Internet administrators" I like better. I think you've done a great job improving!

I just read ChiefjusticeDS Pee Review for the first time, but didn't read the version he reviewed. He said something I didn't say but I agree with him. "Personally I feel it requires some evidence for your side of this argument; if you are going to argue against censorship then why not include some kind of fictionalised example that has been censored. You could also include statements from users. Try and follow the example of an actual request for signatures in an actual newspaper or news website. These sites always include 'concrete' evidence for what they are arguing for, if you could do the same but regarding obscenity I think you could pick up a few laughs before the Open Letter actually begins." I think that could be very short, maybe three short sources, but could be enough to move this to VFH. Please post what's up with the article on my talk page! DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 02:34, September 9, 2009 (UTC)

Chief's PEE made me introduce the HowTo: aspect... Thanks again, I missed that change to the first line and I did agree with it when I read it... Back to it I guess... Pup t 02:57, 9/09/2009

POTR block

I've changed the setting on the POTR block so it wouldn't include IP. If you still can't edit, use the "send email" option in my page and I'll take care of it. Thanks. ~ 06:33, September 10, 2009 (UTC)

Didn't need to worry... I managed to get on using the phone and the work pc. By the time I get back on the home PC the IP ban would have vanished. And again, sorry if I caused any offence. Completely not the intent.Pup t 07:44, 10/09/2009

It wouldn't have vanished, it would renew every time you tried to login, but I removed the IP block option. No offense taken. ~ 09:55, September 10, 2009 (UTC)

UnNews Staff

What do I have to do to be on the UnNews Staff? I wrote an UnNews article. Does that count? DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 22:38, September 10, 2009 (UTC)

I have no idea... as far as I can tell that's it, but never really looked into it. (In fact, I should probably remove the category from my home page.) Pup t 22:53, 10/09/2009

Attention Colonizers!

The brief era of peace we've been enjoying has once again been shattered by the IP horde. And since those pot smoking, tree hugging liberal faggots repealed the draft the IC forces are stuck with the likes of you. You are therefore ordered to report to the front lines at once for briefing. Once we have decided our plan of attack, we'll march into battle post haste. You're dismissed Puppy. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:31, 11 Sep

Sign up to FAGGOT!

Federation Against Girl Guides and Organised Tennis.    Orian57    Talk   20:45 11 September 2009

Already over-committed with POOF. Pup t 02:28, 12/09/2009

What about GAY? Ganstas Against Yiffing. You get to shoot furries and call it a hunting accident.    Orian57    Talk   02:29 12 September 2009

Home Owners Masturbation Organisation? For those that get a thrill talking about renovating.Pup t 03:23, 12/09/2009

Wow, dude, that's so British Inquisition.    Orian57    Talk   12:44 12 September 2009

No fair! America had the Salem thing, Britain had the British Inquisition, Mainland Europe had the Spanish inquisition, Africa had apartheid... Everywhere except Austrlia has had some kind of purging of people that are "other", whether it be due to race, religion, or just being plain old and female... What about Australia? The best we ever get is Pauline Hanson! Pup t 02:34, 13/09/2009

Did I say inquisition? I mean irrigation. My apologies, Bi-bi for now.    Orian57    Talk   02:37 13 September 2009

Oh, my entire country is suffering from drought and you insensitive imperialist clods... Pup t 02:41, 13/09/2009

It's not my fault God forgot you.    Orian57    Talk   02:42 13 September 2009

Waaagh! Pup t 02:58, 13/09/2009

It's all on you, really. What with being decended from criminals and sheilding your faggot children from the light. That's why we get rain and you don't. It's nothing to do with reality.    Orian57    Talk   03:02 13 September 2009

But we gave the world such wonderful things as Kylie Minogue, Jason Donovan, and Mel Gibson's acting training! Pup t 03:15, 13/09/2009

Exactly, Kylie Monogue is a gay idol; Jason Donovan is someone I'm too young to make a joke about and Melgibson directs films in which Jesus is murdered. Would you give water to someone who'd glorified the murder of your son? I didn't think so, bitch.    Orian57    Talk   03:25 13 September 2009

I write for the glory of God! What is Isaac The Tank Engine if not a prayer in a parody? I haven't been struck down yet, so I doubt it's about to start!

Scary aside to that is that a few years ago I was actually a member of a fundamentalist cult called the Catholic Church, and then moved from there to another cult called the non-denominational church of Christ - which has the most ironic name, as non-denominational means that they don't make any divisions amongst the church and believe that all churches should be as one... except the mainstream church of Christ, because they play musical instruments during their worship services, the satanic bastards, and we're not the true-Jesus church, because they have this stupid belief about not having a kitchen in a church building. Anyway during that period I was actually writing for the glory of God, or so I thought. I've written about 20-30 articles here, and I wrote about 30-40 articles for them. Can you imagine me as a preacher in writing? I also look a little like Big Gay Al from South Park if that helps the visual. Pup t 04:57, 13/09/2009

But... YOU LIED TO ME!? I feel tainted. /me has a bath in atheistic water/    Orian57    Talk   05:02 13 September 2009

I was a whacked out Christian. I am a whacked out atheist... and wouldn;t that be unholy water? Pup t 07:33, 13/09/2009

Oh you christians are all the same! Just because I don't believe in god means I'm some sort of witch -- well fuck you. I'll have you know every molecuel of this water has, at some point, passed through the bladder of Richard Dawkins.    Orian57    Talk   12:49 13 September 2009

Yeah, well everybody on earth will brathe at least 2 litres of oxygen that Jesus breathed... assuming he truly did breathe! Some say he can't have breathed, as he was an angel and couldn't truly walk the Earth... then again people say the stupidest shit! Pup t 22:31, 13/09/2009

Pft. Yeah, that's the best I can come up with.    Orian57    Talk   07:55 14 September 2009

And what's wrong with girl guides and organised tennis? You people are turning this encyclopedia into a joke! Oh yeah. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:36, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Nothing against Girl Guides or Organised tennis per se, but when you have girl guides and organised tennis... Pup t 05:10, 14/09/2009

Top ten most wanted

hey if you feels there should be more then feel free to add it. I added what i knew. I mean... I may add some stuff later on but really I'm a speer of the moment kind of guy. --DragonLizardJareth 01:27, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

Sign up to LESBIAN!

Licking English Siamese Brothers in Iraq, Albania and Norway.

Or not -- whatever. Also I have a coffession. And you know, it's not easy because we're friends and -- I mean it shouldn't matter but I don't think you'll look at me the same way again. But... I feel I have to tell you because we're friends. I just -- please just hear me out. I just bought Mika's album. I know I know but... It was colourful and five pounds -- how could I not?    Orian57    Talk   15:07 14 September 2009

I've just realised you probably don't know who he is - so fuck you and your combover.

   Orian57    Talk   15:37 14 September 2009

Egads... UU reserves the right to change spelling... reserve the right to change musical taste... Pup t 20:59, 14/09/2009

But, but, but... :( Homophobe!    Orian57    Talk   21:05 14 September 2009

No... musical bigot! Pup t 21:07, 14/09/2009

Wow that was. I'm not sure where to start -- that vocally boring. Lyrically tired. Visualy 80's or earlier and just bad. I presume you were being ironic though.    Orian57    Talk   21:31 14 September 2009

It was early 90's punk. I actually really enjoy the band. This is not the best rendition of this song, but the only one I've found online to date... Of course if you want obscure early 90's alt music, you can't go past...

Pup t 22:48, 14/09/2009

-0- That was preciecely what I was expecting. And now for something set in the Austraillian outback countryside where they filmed lord of the rings. It is one sexy car. Here:

   Orian57    Talk   13:47 15 September 2009

Funny thing is that the vid that I posted the second time was filmed in London... I like zombies too! Pup t 22:25, 15/09/2009

Yeah you shat yourself didn't you?    Orian57    Talk   23:56 15 September 2009

Yeah... thought it was one of my exes for a second... Pup t 00:11, 16/09/2009

READ ALL ABOUT IT! PUPPYONTHERADIO NECROPHILLE! READ ALL ABOUT IT!    Orian57    Talk   00:30 16 September 2009

I used to practice sadonecrobestiality, but then realised I was flogging a dead horse. Old joke, but has to be trotted out every now and then! Pup t 03:04, 16/09/2009

Lol. That's funny because it's true. Sorry I'm being a bit of a knob to you aren't I? I feel all guilty now.    Orian57    Talk   04:18 16 September 2009

It's all cool... I like knobs. Very handy things. Did you know that the band "The Doors" were only as successful at opening as they were because Jim Morrison was such a knob! (Musical and a pun...) Pup t 06:33, 16/09/2009

You. Are such a dyke.    Orian57    Talk   14:54 16 September 2009

Dissident Young Kindergarten Extremist? Pup t 20:27, 16/09/2009

No, that would have been DYKE, I meant your a girl that gets off on doing something else to another girl. /shudder/ freaks.    Orian57    Talk   22:07 16 September 2009

Oh... you mean like what that boy put his finger in and then got his face smashed in... Pup t 22:24, 16/09/2009

I unno.    Orian57    Talk   22:30 16 September 2009

Actually... if you happen to come across any disgusting perverted woman who do disgusting perverted things to other disgusting perverted women, feel free to send them my way. Pup t 22:35, 16/09/2009

Eww but what? They'll just cut off your balls for fun, or are you into that?    Orian57    Talk   22:47 16 September 2009

Not to brag or anything but... been there, converted that... Pup t 22:52, 16/09/2009

We can't be friends. Not if you're gonna brag about touching a lesbian.    Orian57    Talk   23:30 16 September 2009

You started talking about removing my manhood... I really wish you would stop doing that. You can play with it but don't break it off! PuppyOnTheRadio

Hey Puppy here's a kiss from your sister. :x DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:45, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

Aw shucks

You've made me go all red. Hey Orian, how come Miley has no issues is slipping in the tongue but you do? Pup t 03:01, 17/09/2009

Tongue? Where does it say I slipped you the tongue? :x is a kiss with mouth closed, silly! I didn't kiss you with :P. Even though that's not a kiss that's a tongue sticking out. I don't know how to do both. :) DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 03:14, September 17, 2009 (UTC)

It's not really rimming if you don't put your tongue in a bit.    Orian57    Talk   11:53 17 September 2009

:q is either an emoticon for slipping in the tongue or trying to lick your own nose. Aye! (And in my imagination you slipped me the tongue. My delusions are a lovely place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live here.) Pup t 22:15, 17/09/2009

Can we continue to talk about rimming please?    Orian57    Talk   22:30 17 September 2009

No, but we can discuss anilingus as much as you like. (If you are a nominated writer of the month does that mean you would also have a talented tongue?) Arrr! Pup t 22:33, 17/09/2009

A real cool dude, U R

Thanks for the Baby Boomers Nom. Just being nominated by any of you real insider experts is good enough for me, regardless of being featured. I'm still in awe of your SAT test...if it gets selected, that SAT test will be the reason. Very much appreciated.

I already made quite a lot of changes you suggested for The Misunderstood; I know you're busy, if not over-whelmed - you need to clone yourself soon because Uncyclopedia is going to really take off big-time. Like with The Misunderstood, if you read the Wikipedia version, you'll know LESS then if you read the Uncyclopedia version. Haaa!!! Better you write more of your own articles than bother with the Misunderstood (unless you have time and want to fix it, you could even make it your own article, now that you know the facts). Right now, it's about funny enough to be in Uncyclopedia, but not good enough to feature. But we'll keep working at it and perhaps one day it'll be up to the mark. You guys set a pretty high standard, and I totally respect that, and REALLY appreciate your help. MrN9000 has also been very helpful and I learned a lot from you cats.--Funnybony 16:11, September 14, 2009 (UTC)

It hasn't been though want of trying to get back there... sorry. And the Baby Boomers humour was all yours, all I did was put a pretty shell on part of it. There is no possible way that I could have written that article. Pup t 21:02, 14/09/2009

Golden Shower

I'm copying this here because I'm archiving my talk page again and you might miss this.

That's two showers from two previous RotMs... but I'd suggest widen your range a little and review the article that are sub-standard - they're not as much fubn to review, but by the same token there is so much more that along the way you say "Hey this would work" and then steal the idea for your own use are able to give effective feedback. Puppy/Radio VOTE POOF! t 21:06, 14/09/2009

Thank you Puppy. But I rated two articles in the 20s. I really don't think I can do a review of an article that's a total mess. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:31, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

Actually you'd be good at it based upon the way you have spoken to other in the past. You support people and look for the good, so you're better then the arrogant twinks who just abuse the writer. It's harder, but worthwhile. Pup t 00:34, 15/09/2009

Thank you. I'll think about it. Maybe when I've been here longer. DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 00:41, September 15, 2009 (UTC)

DIPSHIT --EMC ^[TALK] 22:35, September 16, 2009 (UTC)

Evil! Pup t 22:44, 16/09/2009

The Doctor

All of the Doctor's incarnations thank you for supporting the featured article on the Doctor. Except the Twenty-first. He's busy filming. The last we heard of him, he was trying to recruit Daleks for the British Army in the Great War. We all know how that'll turn out. He's also being chased by rabid David Tennant fans trying to get him back to his previous incarnation. That's brilliant, isn't it? I say, would you like a jelly baby?

Thank you for the vote, and for your initial review! Now that caused a major regeneration. Sir MacMania GUN—[01:37 19 Sep 2009]

Sorry... I'm not playing with the yo-yo - I'm testing the gravity of the situation. Pup t 10:08, 19/09/2009

FUCKA!

Fiddling Udders is Creul and Kind. Assosiation. I'm like tottaly bored with the lesbian header.    Orian57    Talk   02:11 19 September 2009

Fiddling Udders is Cruel and Kind Association. PR - natter

Daddy! WHy is PuppyOnTheRadio wearing Uncle UU's skin?    Orian57    Talk   12:25 19 September 2009

I thought you might have been missing having an interactive spell check. Pup t 00:07, 20/09/2009

Oh right, yeah I get it now. Very clever.    Orian57    Talk   00:13 20 September 2009

 

He is right though... you are a very sloppy speller! Pup t 00:28, 20/09/2009

Unless I know how to spell the word I just spell phonetically, if that's not right fuck it. And also typos because I'm even worse at typing. I make the effort to spell check for articles and will correct myself it's drastically bad.    Orian57    Talk   00:40 20 September 2009

It's all cool. I actually don't care about the odd occasional one when it is forum or talk page. If there's a couple in a row though I point it out just for the fun of it. Also I like getting under UUs skin. Pup t 00:44, 20/09/2009

So is there anything fun happening in PuppyLand?    Orian57    Talk   00:54 20 September 2009

Ummm... Given that you're not a fan of straight sex, from your perspective, no. Pup t 01:02, 20/09/2009

On a side note, listening to American Idiot through the Sunday morning video show, and they censor every third word in there... I hate censorship. Pup t 01:04, 20/09/2009

Ewww! you're disgusting! She bleeds from that oriface! And censorship is BRILLIANT! It's stops old people complaining that children aren't properly protected. And if you roll with this idea you get school-trip farms shutting down because a child might touch a sheep that could have a potentially deadly strain of e-coli. The whole fucking thing is ridiculous. On the other hand (or perhaps a different limb entirely) they're talking about handing out condoms to primary schoolers -- they actually expect the twelve year olds'll be fucking each other. I mean what ever happened to childhood? if it's not being attacked by the overly and counter productively protective hypochondriacs, it's being shoved out of the way for adulthood. I hate watching the news. It's depressing and makes me angry.    Orian57    Talk   04:06 20 September 2009

There is a case of sexual assault in the school yard that is currently in the news over here. Sadly we have over-sexualised our children to the extreme so that yes, it is more than feasible that a 12 year old is having sex, and better for it to be protected. And I also never mentioned any orifaces. Pup t 22:52, 20/09/2009

Well obviously it's better that it's protected if it's gonna happen it just doesn't seem quite fair. I mean it's hard even to find something that deserves blame, sure the availibility of porn, the general media and shoddy parenting are probably all factors but kids -- globally it seems -- are hitting puberty a lot earlier than they used to. /me sighs/ When I was twelve I still had an imaginary friend. And a real one to clarify. we both did, sort of these alter egos. it was fun -- don't judge me!    Orian57    Talk   07:45 21 September 2009

Yeah, the grown man who calls himself Puppy is about to criticise someone for having an imaginary friend. You can blame media, but media reflects society rather than shaping it. I still don't agree with censorship, but I do have an issue when the only images that kids have ready access to are those controlled by organisations whose prime motivation is money. I am an advocate of a free media, but not commercialisation of content. I'm not after much, just the impossible. Pup t 07:58, 21/09/2009

Well I'm not so sure about the media, wither it reflects or shapes society. I think it does both. I mean shows like CSI obviously are meargre reflections -- somebody has killed someone before. But you get other shows that people call "ground breaking" "strikingly original" and "way ahead of it's time", how can those be reflecting society? I think the line is very blurred, esspecially because kids will watch stuff like South Park, per popular examnple, and not understand the irony. Then there is the way that the news presented, in a stupidly sensationalised, almost fearmongering way. Which brings us full circle to the fact that I'm probably depressed and angry over nothing. /me burries head in sand and cries/    Orian57    Talk   08:15 21 September 2009

Sorry, haven't had much of a chance to get on here over the last 48 hours. Can I just say that I am not a fan of reality? Pup t 22:24, 22/09/2009

That's perfectly acceptable too. anyway night night, Puppy. I'm actually starting to feel a bit a preditor when I call you that.    Orian57    Talk   22:35 22 September 2009

I love the fact that somebody feels that they are preying on me... hahahahaha! Pup t 03:06, 23/09/2009

I think that might be worse.    Orian57    Talk   07:00 23 September 2009

Well, you are named after a one eyed giant... I like one eyed giants! Pup t 23:56, 23/09/2009

I'm not named after the constelation. /me guns down Puppy/    Orian57    Talk   07:14 24 September 2009

I see a brightly lit city, and my soul is on fire. Oh, Elvis, I am coming! Pup t 04:54, 25/09/2009

What?    Orian57    Talk   07:20 25 September 2009

You have your afterlife, and I'll have mine. Where I have mine I have to have the Rat Pack and Elvis available though. Fly me to the moon... Pup t 23:29, 25/09/2009

What?    Orian57    Talk   00:52 26 September 2009

Well, I was gunned down. People generally don't survive that. Pup t 02:39, 26/09/2009

Oh, and re this - valid point, but the humour relied on the procreation aspect, plus it gave me the opportunity to grab a couple of really good links. Pup t 02:44, 26/09/2009

Baby Boomers

Hey dude!!! I'm not sure what's going to happen, but just from the little bad feedback I have changed the article, rearranging and adding plus subtracting, in accordance to advice of nay sayers. I actually think it is quite a bit better than before. I hope that makes a difference (well of course it makes a bloody difference!), yeah, OK. Haa--125.24.162.136 18:39, September 21, 2009 (UTC)

Scary.... --ChiefjusticeDS 21:18, September 22, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost September 10/17

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

Date September 17th, 2009 • Issue 64 • Consistently Declining Readership Since 2008!

Uncyclopedians Continue Hostile Takeover of Wikimedia By Bad Shroom This week, noted user Electrified mocha chinchilla got a short but somewhat hostile reply from the lackluster Wikimedia Foundation. After telling truths to the company such as taking control over Wikipedia and how Uncyclopedia is 104% fact, a Wikipedia Foundation employee under the subtle disguise "Philippe XXXXXX" replied in a manner that was both honorable and robust. Confounded by the foundation's kindness, e|m|c quickly replied with a rebuttal seeming more like a terrorist threat like a thank-you note. Even though Uncyclopedia has not managed to even get off Wikia's back, some users have a bright, world domination-esque outlook to the future. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein Week One of the UFFL season was full of thrills, spills, birth control pills, and shitty rhymes. The John Curry All-Stars bested The Oklahoma City Storm 93.08 – 74.54 after a sub-par performance from offensive giants Larry Fitzgerald and Michael Turner on the Storm side, not to mention the controversial decision to sit starting quarterback and country singer enthusiast Tony Romo. The appropriately-named Dudes edged Cheddar’s Doritians 98.42 – 96.06, despite the fact that Dudes manager Frank Zappa was high the entirety of the game. Injuries to key Doritian players Donovan McNabb and LaDainian Tomlinson made the loss extra-hard to swallow. The not-so-domestic Domestic Team Name blew out DiBiase’s Millions 112.82 – 67.16—a loss which caused Millions’ manager Woody Onfire to question the not-sucking-ness of his team publicly. Finally, Sternensteinenstine annihilated the ironically-named Winnerz 123.92 – 0.00 after Winnerz manager Al Davis forgot to edit his team’s starting roster for the week. The lop-sided German victory was aided by a career day from Saints’ quarterback Drew Brees and round-the-clock Luftwaffe air cover in conjunction with concentrated armored thrusts at the enemy’s flanks. Lead Editor Returns to UnSignpost Office, Demands to Know Whereabouts of Bundt Cake By Gerrycheevers This week Active Lead UnSignpost editor Gerrycheevers stumbled back onto the Uncyclopedia scene amid much celebration and hooplah. While settling down to his usual routine of getting UnSignpost issues polished off stylishly late, he noticed that his office at the UnSignpost wing of Uncyclopedia had been raided, and his delicious bundt cake had been mercilessly stolen. Gerry immediately declared a halt to the UnSignpost presses, which involved Sockpuppet of an unregistered user using several pints of holy water and a rubber chicken, in order to plea for the safe return of his tasty cake. Please, mystery pastry thief, don't leave Mr. Cheevers cakeless and hungry!

Check out these pages! Village Dump becomes worship house for John Stamos Most Inappropriate Smackdown on a Serious Topic Ever* Kanye West sucks cock From our logs: 08:15, September 11, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked Klauston (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(well now, it seems I CAN be assed to ban page blanking fucktards. who'd'a thunk it?) 15:45, September 14, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.246.126.149 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day (Blanker: Go blank yourself! Hah! Do you see what I did there? I'm a font of wit.) 23:08, September 17, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.51.144.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Hades was a giant homo who got his shit owned by Hercules, and the only thing you and he will ever have in common is your colossal failure.) Biopic of the Week Since emerging violently from the brain cavity of ThomasPynchonsLeftNut, the quick-witted and devilishly handsome GlobalTourniquet has made quite a name for himself on this silly wiki. With a Writer of the Month victory in July, GT's expert songwriting, strong way with prose, and status as a film connoisseur make him a solid addition to the Uncyc workforce. Old School Featured Article of the Week Humosexuals are individuals who compulsively tell jokes in an effort to engage in the physical act of love. Oftentimes the subject of scorn and the object of violent hunting games in Medieval England, humosexuals have begun to make a name for themselves in contemporary society. Benny Hill (pictured) was perhaps the most famous humosexual, as his antics involving the combination of small vegetables, projectile physics, and the cleavage of buxom females were well recorded. Gerry's Thumbs Up of the Week I'd like to recognize The Woodburninator, An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays, Guildensternenstein, and Sockpuppet of an unregistered user for feeding my pet rabbit, Alpheratz, during my unexplained absence. Also I suppose they should mention their efforts in keeping the UnSignpost afloat during that same time period, but this box is mostly in recognition of bunny maintenance.

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This would've gotten here last week, but it's my firs week as paperboy and I got lost. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:19, September 23, 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost: September 24th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

In Pure Russian Fashion, The Newspaper That Reads YOU!!

September 24th, 2009 • Issue 65 • The Newspaper that Oscar Wilde Might Read Were He Still Among the Living

UnSignpost Subscriber List Trimmed; Remaining Subscribers Urged to Archive Issues, Settle Outstanding Bills, Refrain from Tipping Paperbots By Gerrycheevers This week, the hideously long UnSignpost subscription list was hacked down even further than The Woodburninator and others apparently hacked it down several months ago. This has resulted in a mass decline in the number of useless edits performed by paperbots and brave, bored souls who have nothing better to do than manually edit dozens of userpages on a weekly basis. The dregs that were cast off included those who have not registered an edit in six months, those who are permanently banned or close to it, and those with large, scary dogs that prevent paperbots from completing their routes unchewed. The remaining faithful readers are asked to archive their talk pages if they are excessively long due to many hilarious editions of the UnSignpost, as paperbots are slowed down by the large load times of such pages, and paper-delivering users are likely to be distracted by uproarious back issues. Subscribers are also reminded that the monthly fee for talkpage delivery is seven Uncyclopedia credits. Extremely outdated Uncyclopedia currency, such as Yoinxx, will be subject to exceedingly unfair conversion rates. On a final note, readers are implored to avoid tipping paperbots, as it seems any sort of regular income tends to give robots inklings of sentience, and the last thing we need is Fnoodle organizing the paperbots into a rudimentary union again. UFFL Update By Guildensternenstein It was another exciting week of UFFL action this past Sunday, with 75% of the league’s games qualifying as “blowouts.” Sternensteinenstine bested DiBiase’s Millions 161.54 to 78.94, with the one-two Nazi punch of Drew Brees and Chris Johnson outscoring their helpless opponents alone. The John Curry All Stars had similar success with the Philip Rivers-Marques Colston-Frank Gore combination, and knocked out Cheddar’s Doritians 123.74 to 71.64 in the fourth round. The bout between Domestic Team Name and Oklahoma City Storm went the distance, with Domestic “Team” Name coming away with the split decision 78.14 to 77.28. Finally, Frankreich “The Dude” Zappino demolished his opponent 126.42 to 0.00 in a spectacular first round knockout due to the fact that LL was once again unable to select his starting roster. Standings: Sternensteinenstienenstern (2-0) The Stoners (2-0) John Curry’s Angles (2-0) Domestic Violence (2-0) Sun Chips (0-2) Oklahoma City Bombing (0-2) DeGrasse Goes to Vegas (0-2) The Loserz (0-2)

Check out these pages! The Pay-Per-View Event of the Fortnight! Here. Have a page with so many pictures, it takes forever to load. You're welcome. Urination, small furry rodents, and why Modus has another court date Tuesday. From our logs: 16:19, September 20, 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.235.107.11 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎(Stop being a pain in my tender place) 18:52, September 21, 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Arse bandit (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎(Your ban time is six months. I'll give you 10 dollars if you can hold your breath the entire time.) 14:53, September 22, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.17.99.136 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(oi, no blanking, no stupid redirecting, no crappy pages about people we don't care about, and no ugly nerds. you fail on all counts.) 11:57, September 24, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Abdul321 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Lebanon is a little Kiosk between Israel and Syria. Get over it.) Biopic of the Week Bouncing back and forth between Uncyclopedia and Illogicopedia has been Hindleyite's specialty for some time now. With his in-depth reports on traffic laws, street crime, and sports officiating video games, this banana-eating ite from Hindley is sure to keep Uncyclopedians on their toes for a long time to come. Old School Featured Article of the Week Henchmen are an essential part of any mastermind super-villian's overall business portfolio. Generally, success in plans of world domination, protagonist death, and damsel distress have success ratios directly correlated to the number, competence, and, to a lesser extent, wardrobe snappiness of a bad guy's henchmen. Pointless Nostalgia of the Week We miss when Cajek and Skull would write for the UnSignpost. Those 4+ issues they churned out were golden. You'd be reading and then - all of a sudden - WHAM, a joke would hit you, and Cajek would be all like, "oh my god, it was so dark, and i didn't see him, and he just jumped out in front of me!" Really Small Box That Takes Up Just Enough Space To Even Out Both Sides of This Issue of the UnSignpost of the Week, Because Symmetry Looks Nice Believe it or not, the one above this one.

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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 16:32, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Soma

Bro, never-mind Baby Boomers, it made us laugh and it's a lot better now too. Getting nominated for Academy Award is almost as good as winning. I wanted to ask about an article I didn't write that was pretty good called Soma. It got huffed. Can we revive than article and fix what's necessary? It seems a shame to lose it completely. Thanks again.--Funnybony 18:18, September 26, 2009 (UTC)

Nothing easier. Grab your nearest admin - Mordillo for example - jump onto his talk page, and ask him/her to restore it to your namespace. From there you can do a subtantial rewrite and then put back into mainspace. Quick warning though: if it has been deleted it will have gone through a VFD and once people have decided against something then they are likely to do it a second time. Have a chat to Miley about how she resurrected Pedobear - and check out the article while you are there. Pup t 23:49, 26/09/2009

Its-a-con

Bro, whattya think of this inside-outside-in view of the Harry Harrys? THIS could be a HOT POTATO, just as much as Islam. So maybe you could get it locked down. It's gonna need it, I reckon!!!--Funnybony 19:20, September 28, 2009 (UTC)

It's a stub at the moment, albeit with a fair amount of good material contained within. I'm wondering about the name... It's-a-con maybe a little blatant, maybe Itzacon or Itsacon instead. A little listy, but it shows promise.

While I think about it I'm reading "Juliet Naked" by Nick Hornby at the moment. I don't know if you've read any of his stuff - if not the best way to describe him is a British music-phile with a sense of humour. Most people will know the movie Hi fidelity which was absed on one of his books. You might want to grab some of his stuff, as I think it would be your kind of thing.

And I've finally gone the plunge and done an UnTunes - UnTunes:Goodbye facebook screen (Social Networking the wind). I HATE the original song, but it fit with this so well I couldn't pass it by, and the coding on this was a nightmare. What do you think? Pup t 22:37, 28/09/2009

Ok, how about ITSCON, with that loooong list turned into a numbered list in paragraph style. I don't know how to delete the old Its-a-con so if you can, it should be deleted, otherwise it's a duplicate of ITSCON. Thanks, I'll check on that book you suggested by Hornby. Much appreciated.--Funnybony 13:04, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Hmm, if it's you who's been editing those articles, Funnybony, try editing while logged in, as it's kinda hard to tell if it's an author request to delete an article if the editing has been done by an IP and not your username. But if you do want to get rid of something you have created, and you can prove you are the author, go here and list it as an author request.

Next, lists, be they in list form or paragraph form, are not great, and should ideally be kept to a minimum, for effect. Lots of long lists are off-putting, and become wearisome. If you can't explain your idea in another way, it may be you need to re-think it. See here for more on lists. Actually, lists in paragraph form like that are arguably worse, as they're harder to follow.

Also, don't go removing ICU tags applied to your articles, that's for admins to do, not you. I put an ICU back on Its-a-con and one on ITSCON because they are quite long, need formatting help, and seem quite unfocussed at the moment - they didn't make much sense to me on what I have to admit was a fairly quick look through (but here's the point: most people have a quick look-through of articles before deciding if they want to read 'em, so if they look difficult at first glance, you're likely to lose a lot of readers, so you need to think about that). When you think the article has improved, and deserves to lose the ICU tag, find an admin, or come to me, and we'll take a look. If we agree, the tag comes off. People can get banned for persistently removing ICU tags, so I mention this purely as a friendly warning.

In short: edit logged in - it makes life easier for you and us, and try streamlining some of your ideas in that article so it makes a little more sense to someone who isn't you. --UU - natter 13:22, Sep 29

Dude! Thanks for the advice. I have been working on that article logged-out on purpose. The main reason is that all those things you think might be fiction are all historical facts. For example, the original and rival group to ITSCON is in India called "Gaudiya Math" (Math means Ashram) so I used that to make a play on the word Math as numbers. I added two more pics, plus more real but funny values. This is all based on the known facts. And that is why these people would hate it. Apart from the list of Scriptures everything is factual. Regarding the last list of types of members, every single one is true. But how to format that list is beyond me. I wish I wasn't so dumb at coding.

Please no sweat about the ICU tag. can't remove it because I want this article to be genuinely accepted and appreciated. And I hope it looks a lot better now. Please let me know what else to do. I do not want to be credited as author out of fear of these ITSCON whackos, that's the only reason I edit that article without logging on. I hope that's OK, and the article can be a good one. Much thanks.--Funnybony 18:14, September 29, 2009 (UTC)

Latest news on ITSCON. I took your advice on the Types of Devotees (BTW: There is a REAL person, at least, attached to every one of those types). I turned it back into a long list and also double spaced each line so it would really be easy to read. Plus being numbered it looks organized more than just a list. So I hope that the solution. Otherwise I have done everything I could to format, add pics (BTW: The pic of the monk with the Crown is REAL - such nonsense went on after the All-Attractive (nameless guru) passed away OR was murdered depending on which side you listen to). Also please know that jokes like "64,000,004 offenses" are there because in a religion that has 64 rules, it might as well be 64,000,000. Like I said, only an old insider could write this article, an insider with a sense of humor! And GUTS!!! - I know your busy, but I would be very thank full if you advise me further, so it can be an article rather than a stub. In fact I would hope to get it locked so that only Registered Users can edit (like on Islam). That is my goal - I tell you in advance. Because there WILL be attempts to vandalize or delete this article. And it's Way kinder than Islam or Hindu. And we strictly mention no names at all, including the now famous name of The All-attractive. Thanks--Funnybony 23:28, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

FaceBook

Forgot to mention. Had a real good laugh reading your Facebook. I loved the "18 years ago" - The whole thing is funny. It must have been a headache to create that, but it's a goodie. BTW: Is that a REAL song?--Funnybony 18:22, September 30, 2009 (UTC)

I haven't recorded it, but as long as you get "Candle in the wind" in your mind first, it works. And click the edit to have a look at the source code - it's all in the details! Pup t 00:35, 1/10/2009

Bro! Now I get the tune...haaa, facebook ho!?? HAAA. Are you going to record it? Or let Bono sing the verses, with the ghost of Mario Lanza on chorus, backed by Twisted Sister. Hey, I could'nt figure how to view the code, I mean, THIS I gotta see (not that I'll understand it)? It's a winner, so poke yourself. BTW: I have really been "cleaning up" and tuning [ITSCON]]. ONLY an "old-insider-with-guts" could possibly write that. And not a single name is mentioned. Compare now version to before and you'll see how hard I worked on it. Stay cool.--Funnybony 08:39, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

Puppy! Whats up?

I've reimigined myself.    Orian57    Talk   17:52 30 September 2009

Reminds me I have to update mine... Jessica Rabbit is getting a little stale. Pup t 00:44, 1/10/2009

Why is nobody giving this the attention it deserves?    Orian57    Talk   08:15 1 October 2009

Thought I'd give this a try

Hi Puppy, hope you're good. I'm kinda here to see if I can get some involvement in a little idea. See, the pee queue is backed up a little, and I figured that if most of our active reviewers did two reviews each this weekend, it'd pretty much take care of that. I know, I know, this is a busy time of the year 'n' shit, and you've done a bunch of reviews already this year. Cool. Thanks. And if you can't, you cant. But if you can find the time to crank out just 2 decent reviews this weekend, it'd be awesome. Hell, if we do shift the queue, it might even help grease those sticky wheels over at VFH a little. I reckon it's worth a shot, what say you? --UU - natter 18:29, Sep 30

Already hoping to get there. If you haven't already have a chat to LPS, Why, funnybony, necropaxx, and Miley. They all have the capacity to do decent reviews from what I've seen them do and from general conversation and feedback on VFH, but I think there's a fear of not doing well enough. Get people beyond that fear and the queue should move a little faster. Pup t 00:43, 1/10/2009

After writing over 20 articles I still never passed VFH. So I'm not qualified to review anyone. I can vote, but a review takes technical expertise. I once tried to do a review Barak Obama's Teleprompter but after finding no faults all I could no was nomination, and it got featured because it was really good (but still someone found some fault with it being too political. How could an article about Obama possibly be TOO political???)--Funnybony 14:04, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

BTW: Pup, I worked so hard on ITSCON that I even fit in a spoof on VFH (being like the Itscon GBC in choosing who gets to be God. Haa!! Anyway, I value the opinion of all Uncyclopedia writers, like you guys are real experts. I don't really understand difference of "satire" or "silly" But I sure as hell have a sense of humor. And the way I like it is just plain FUNNY. Y/bro.--Funnybony 14:04, October 1, 2009 (UTC)

It sounds like you did the perfect job with that PEE, so maybe you can repeat it. Go through the list and read through the articles. If there are any there that are FA worthy, nominate. If it's nominated and featured, it's taken from queue, and our work is done. Oh, and silly is as valid as satire, so don't worry about a distinction. I do, but I am a pretentious wanker. As Voltaire said avec non palais francais ma i con fuswith crepe. Pup t 21:40, 1/10/2009

Do you know what you did?

Dear Sir:

Do you realize you not only vandalised my user page, but you insulted a very talented Uncyclopedian? PuppyOnTheRadio is an award-winning editor who has written a great number of Pee Reviews and been Golden Showered for them, has had several articles featured, and is perhaps one of the most productive editors on this site. And you called him a wanker? If you don't apologize immediately, I'm afraid I shall have to ask you to step outside. I will step out presently to join you, as soon as I get my boxing gloves and do a little wanking.

Yours sincerely etc.,

Sir Alfred E. Neuman, Esq.

c/o King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  20:08, October 2, 2009 (UTC)

You are absolutely right. I feel ashamed of myself. I'd be a complete wanker, except I've run out of tabasco sauce. Pup t 20:38, 2/10/2009

Random IP edits suck

So? What's up in the land of Puppy?

Anything exiting? Working on any ideas for the PLS? laying any bitches?    Orian57    Talk   12:47 4 October 2009

Was planning to get some reviews done over the weekend, but given events beyond my control, it did not quite eventuate the way I had hoped. I did get on myface and played around a bit. Added a number of random elements. How would I go about getting someone to do the audio aspect of this, assuming that I get someone in the community here to go over it?

Oh, and I cyber-met someone from Encyclopedia Dramatica. I will have to go over there at some stage and find out what the difference is. Pup t 18:54, 4/10/2009

Erm ask someone? Also ED is atrocious. It's bad bad bad. they're all trolls over there and you'll get goatsed nine times every minute. I mean, at a glance. They're probably lovely.    Orian57    Talk   19:27 4 October 2009

I'll have to fix my sound card so I can listen to what people have done, but I'm tempted to give Elton an abrasive Aussie accent. And I'm happy here at Uncyc, so while I may end up visting ED, I don't want to live there. Pup t 19:52, 4/10/2009

So what was the original song? was it candle in the wind? because that would make sense. I'm not really big on Elton to be honest. Loved The Lion King though.    Orian57    Talk   20:37 4 October 2009

I hate Elton with a passion. And I barely know the song beyond being able to huum along to it, but a friend started me off with it, and I had "myface" at the forefront of my mind for a while, so I put the two together... Pup t 20:44, 4/10/2009

Homophobe! HOMOPHOBE! It's attidudes like your's that create people like me!    Orian57    Talk   21:29 4 October 2009

I don't like Elton, George Michael, Mika... bugger, you might be right. I must hate gays. But I like cock. Oh god, I'm a self-hating homophobe, the worst kind! Pup t 21:36, 4/10/2009

See! See! You're bassically American! We can't be friends.    Orian57    Talk   21:38 4 October 2009

But I'm not American y'all... aw fuck! Pup t 21:41, 4/10/2009

/me gives Puppy (The Big Fag Hating Texan) the cold shoulder/ Hurumph. And, yeah, so been laying any bitches?    Orian57    Talk   21:48 4 October 2009

I am in a long term monogomous relationship. That equates to getting no sex at all! Pup t 21:51, 4/10/2009

Yeah but the bitches, man, that's what it's all about in the hood. Gunz spelt with a Zee and bitches.    Orian57    Talk   21:56 4 October 2009

Oh... you mean biatches... yeah, laying heaps of them... hardly have time to scratch myself... Pup t 21:57, 4/10/2009

You bisexuals are all the same. It's all sex sex sex with you you don't even care. You loveless husk of a beast. Yeah, I'm profiling you!    Orian57    Talk   22:59 5 October 2009

Sorry... You must have said something but I was too bus looking at your gorgeous tight buns in those day-glo shorts, and I couldn't hear you over the sound of the house music anyway, and do you have any more of those tablets with you, and I need some help with interior design when you have a moment... God, I haven't got any chance of listing all stereotypical assumptions here at all, do I? Fuck it, want a scotch? Pup t 02:43, 6/10/2009

9 out of 10 for effort there. :)    Orian57    Talk   03:10 6 October 2009

Appropro of nothing, I'm stuck in my work tea roomand they have disney TV on or Nick Jnr or some garbage that is aimed at teens with the most horrible American accents and a luagh track that hasn't been changed since "I love Lucy." Pup t 04:48, 6/10/2009

Oh it really hasn't been changed since the fifties. I read that the otherday. I hate all laugh tracks though, to me it shows a lack of confidence.    Orian57    Talk   06:08 6 October 2009

And a lack of growth. I watched a show that had a laugh track and there was one joke that should have fallen flat. As in dead silence, but they played the laugh track over it. Which means the writers will watch their own stuff, and get the idea that what they write is funny because it gets a laugh when it is the opposite. Which of course kills creativity and lends itself to more garfield comics. Pup t 06:53, 6/10/2009

Exactly. Now. Where was I? Oh yes, Narny narny nar nar/ Austraillia's full of comunists! :P    Orian57    Talk   13:20 6 October 2009

The UK is full of proclaimers.

Uh huh

Uh huh

Uh huh

Uh huh

Pup t 17:03, 6/10/2009

You just crossed the line commie. /Me slays Puppy and recives a nighthood/    Orian57    Talk   17:52 6 October 2009

Is that something you wear at night to keep your ears warm? The ghost of Pup t 17:59, 6/10/2009

Thanks for reviewing

Yo, thanks for Pee Reviewing that Street Fighter article. It needed it. Not sure if or when I'll get around to trying to improvement as I have a lot of other commitments going on in real life, but if I can figure out something, I'll give it my best shot. And hopefully, people who see the review will get an idea of what's wrong and help improve it with time. So, again, thanks. -- Hanyouman 22:16, October 4, 2009 (UTC)

No problem... if you is happy I is happy... Pup t 02:05, 5/10/2009

Noob Tanks

UnSignpost: October 1st, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

October 1st, 2009 • Issue 66• Now With 40% More Pictures of Cats with Humorous Captions!

Users Turn to PLS to Rescue Uncyclopedia from Decay, Doom, Worstness By Gerrycheevers The Eighth Semi-Annual Poo Lit Surprise Writing Competition & Brownie Bake-Off begins this Monday, October 5th when Olipro emerges from his house. If he is frightened by his shadow, writers are required to send him love letters; otherwise, writers have two weeks to squeeze all of the humor they can out of their mostly insignificant humor glands. This year's categories include Best Article, Best Illustrated Article, Best Kanye Joke, and Best Rewrite. The list of judges includes both esteemed Uncyclopedia veterans and former PLS winners; they will be sequestered in a two-star hotel for the duration of the competition in order to ensure the most convenient environment for receiving bribes. This year's PLS Master of Ceremonies and Executive in Charge of Parking, Modusoperandi, humbly expressed optimism when asked about the quality of this installment: "This Poo Lit will be the Greatest PLS ever," said Mr. Operandi exclusively. "Anyone who says otherwise is as much of a liar as they are dumb, and they are plenty dumb. Ergo, they are also plenty liar. That made more sense in my head." Other users, who wished to remain anonymous since they regularly read the unflattering commentary often associated with being quoted in the UnSignpost, expressed hope that the PLS would revive the life-support-laden VFH and also stimulate the lagging Uncyclopedia economy. Users Agree: 'Uncyclopedia is the Boringest' By Gerrycheevers This week, Uncyclopedia users denounced the recent lack of activity on the wiki. Necropaxx initiated the conversation, noting that activity on VFH, similar to the pants of the 'hip' crowd, has dropped to unacceptably low levels. Other users have responded, and the general consensus does indeed seem to be that overall, the site's quality has dropped below acceptable levels. Not since June '07, November '07, February '08, August '08, December '08, March '09, and May '09 has Uncyclopedia seen such a blatant claim that the entire website will imminently burst into a ball of some sort, with 'flame' being the most likely sort of ball. Trusted UnSignpost undercover investigative reporter, DogNewspaper (pictured), infiltrated one such group of doom-saying users in order to obtain some first-hand declarations of the impending death throes of the wiki. "Yeah, with the number of quality articles readily available, I'd give Uncyclopedia two months at the most until it is absorbed into another humor website," said one user. Further commentary from this group of users was unavailable, as undercover investigative reporter DogNewspaper's cover was at this point compromised, as his unwavering loyalty to Uncyclopedia caused him to seize the infidel user's lower leg in his mouth and shake his head viciously. Please stay with the UnSignpost for up-to-the-week coverage of the impending(?) death of Uncyclopedia.

Check out these pages! Features and Self-Loathing on Uncyclopedia An all-time Uncyclopedia mystery explained in agonzing detail Get your monthly dose of religious oppression! From our logs: 17:54, September 27, 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.233.10.123 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month (Under Uncyclopedia emergency act (1976) I hereby revoke your editing priveleges) 20:55, September 27, 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 58.166.95.119 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (only two kinds blank Texas: steers and queers. and steers find it hard to use the internet so I guess that narrows things down a little, doesn't it?) 21:42, September 29, 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 91.203.96.48 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Hates me for some reason. Even though I happen to be the nicest man who ever lived. It's true, ask Richard Nixon.) Biopic of the Week Since exploding onto the Uncyclopedia scene in 2007, MacMania has developed into a fine-tuned humor machine. His recent writing endeavors have earned him a Writer of the Month nod, and as such, he is certainly a user worthy of biopication. His current sabbatical makes UnSignpost editors sad, but perhaps a constant spamming of his userpage with pleas to return will accelerate his comeback. UnSignpost readers, away! Old School Featured Article I Can't Believe it's Not Murder is the preferred alternative of first degree murder that celebrities, famous sports stars, politicians, and otherwise prominent individuals take advantage of in courts of law. It is similar to being found guilty of first degree murder, though this version avoids the undesirable consequences such as jail time, fines, probation, and the unsightly community service. Random Thought of the Week Dippin' Dots have been the ice cream of the future for like ten years. Shouldn't they be the ice cream of the present by now?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Late deliver courtesy of MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:31, October 5, 2009 (UTC)

I asked, you delivered

Thanks for helping out this weekend with a pee or two. Have a beer! --UU - natter 20:48, Oct 5

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Asylum seeking

Thanks for the Pee. You're right, as usual. I changed the pic, corrected some grammar and spellings (What's wrong with "neighbours' pets"?) As I know absolutely nothing about wiki formatting I was intrigued by the TOCRIGHT thing. What does it do? How is it used etc? --Sog1970 12:52, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Nothing wrong with "neighbours' pets," and to be honest I'd have to go back to the elements of style as to why that change, but it's like passive verb forms - they aren't wrong, but if you can phrase things with active verbs instead it's more effective. I seem to recall that it was something to do with plural nouns and ownership, so the suggestions are often "neighbour's pets" or "neighbours' pet." I wouldn't have even worried about it except it came up with the grammar check that I ran, and I preferred the sound of the alternate (even though it wasn't a suggested option.) UU is the spelling and grammar king, so if you are really bored interested you can ask him.

And I added TOCright to this page at the top (see code) so (I hope I have this right) it floats the table of contents to the right of the page and allows the text to wrap so there's not as much whitespace in the crucial first few views of the article.

I'll have a look at it as soon as I have the chance.Pup t 17:21, 6/10/2009

Ooops... No, I did remember my coding wrong... I'll come back to it... Pup t 17:23, 6/10/2009

That's better! Pup

I see, I like, I do. --Sog1970 13:49, October 7, 2009 (UTC)

Pup

Goodbye Facebook Screen

Yo, what tune is this to? I keep thinking "Bye Bye Love" by the Everly Brothers, but that doesn't really fit, and I doubt the Everly Brothers are Elton John. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 19:41, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

Elton John's "Candle in the wind" If I'm not very much mistaken. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:53, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

I was actually thinking of "Rock Me Amadeus" by Falco, but the images of Elton John, Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe, the fact that the latter two are referred to as UK Rose and Norma Jean respectively, the title is Goodbye facebook screen (Social Networking the Wind), and it states that is is part of Elton John's series of "Candle in the Wind" suggests to me that Chief's idea is a little mora appropriate. (Sorry, I get sarcastic when I don't have enough sleep, and I am currently running low on z's.) Who are the Everly brothers? Pup t 20:03, 6/10/2009

Your moms. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 23:52, October 6, 2009 (UTC)

You pwned that n00b! Pup t 01:56, 7/10/2009

That noob should have quit the server, because he... */me puts on sunglasses* ...just got served. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 03:30, October 7, 2009 (UTC)