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From today's featured article 

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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.

The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
  • ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
  • ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
  • ... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
  • ... that Obama's last name is [REDACTED]?
  • ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
  

In the news 

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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight

Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV-based sitcom canned after people realize they can watch literally anything else • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season

Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too

On this day 

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 The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
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